Shrubby the Poet!

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Newtonian Fury
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Shrubby the Poet!

Post by Newtonian Fury »

Here
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Oh my, lump in the bed,
How I've missed you.

Roses are redder,
Bluer am I,
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.

The dogs and the cat, they missed you too,
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe.
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier.
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. -Unknown
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Post by Joe »

Gooooooood. That's terrible.
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Wow. I'm pretty sure not even his father's connections could get that into a poetry book.

Didn't Clinton have a thing for poetry too, poems like "There once was a man from Nantucket..."?
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Post by Iceberg »

Wow. I didn't know Dubya was a Vogon.
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Iceberg wrote:Wow. I didn't know Dubya was a Vogon.
How did you read that all without an aneurism?
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Post by Durandal »

I thought this was a joke. That's just fucking awful.
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Post by Alyrium Denryle »

*has an aneurism from the stupidity*
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Post by Alyrium Denryle »

Durandal wrote:I thought this was a joke. That's just fucking awful.
It came from the pathetic mind of Shrubby, what else would it be?
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Post by Gil Hamilton »

Part of me died when I read that. :cry:
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Post by haas mark »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Iceberg wrote:Wow. I didn't know Dubya was a Vogon.
How did you read that all without an aneurism?
That's a damned good question.. o.O

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Post by The Dark »

:shock:
That reads like something I might have written when I was ten. Maybe. On a bad day.
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Post by Joe »

This is the kind of thing that you'd expect some speechwriter to make up for PR purposes. But this is too bad to be fake.
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Post by Gandalf »

Mao Tse Tung wrote poetry too...
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

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Post by darthdavid »

That brought me to tears. Our country is doomed!!! :cry:

I've seen two year olds write poems better than that, and worse yet, that man is the leader of the free world!
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Re: Shrubby the Poet!

Post by Eleas »

Newtonian Fury wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Oh my, lump in the bed,
How I've missed you.

Roses are redder,
Bluer am I,
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.

The dogs and the cat, they missed you too,
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe.
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier.
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.
I move for putting this in the SLAM forum. Nobody could be this bad a poet without making a science of it, during the process forsaking logic. The morality part speaks for itself.

God damn, I feel the need to vomit.
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Re: Shrubby the Poet!

Post by Patrick Degan »

Newtonian Fury wrote:Here
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Oh my, lump in the bed,
How I've missed you.

Roses are redder,
Bluer am I,
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.

The dogs and the cat, they missed you too,
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe.
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier.
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.
And just think —this is the man so many Republican voters thought was better qualified to outwit terrorists. 8)
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Post by haas mark »

Eleas wrote:I move for putting this in the SLAM forum. Nobody could be this bad a poet without making a science of it, during the process forsaking logic. The morality part speaks for itself.
:lol: That is at least half-true, though...

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Post by HemlockGrey »

Or he could have written it as a joke.
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Post by Hyperion »

Oh god... The pain...

That must be what happens when someone who is anything but poetry inclined and literate tries to write a poem...

You do know I now have to reformat and reinstall my brain because of that thing shorting out the logic center again.
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Post by LordShaithis »

W-w-wait... That's fucking REAL? The fucking PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES actually wrote that silly horseshit!??!?! :shock: :shock: :shock:

You lie!
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Post by Patrick Degan »

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:W-w-wait... That's fucking REAL? The fucking PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES actually wrote that silly horseshit!??!?! :shock: :shock: :shock:

You lie!
From the CNN article:

She revealed that President Bush had penned a poem for her when she got back from a five-day solo trip to Europe, where she attended a book festival in Moscow and visited France -- getting two kisses on the hand from French President Jacques Chirac.

"President Bush is a great leader and a husband, but I bet you didn't know he is also quite the poet," she said. "Upon returning home last night from my long trip I found a lovely poem waiting there for me."


And then she read it aloud. In public.
When ballots have fairly and constitutionally decided, there can be no successful appeal back to bullets.
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People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs.
—Dr. Gregory House

Oil an emergency?! It's about time, Brigadier, that the leaders of this planet of yours realised that to remain dependent upon a mineral slime simply doesn't make sense.
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Vympel
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Post by Vympel »

I thought it was rather witty.
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Post by Jim Raynor »

Damn, this is poem is beyond stupid. What's even more unbelievable is that the Bushs were dumb enough to actually go public with this.
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Vympel wrote:I thought it was rather witty.
If you define it as a psychological weapon, yes, yes it is.
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Post by Gandalf »

Jim Raynor wrote:Damn, this is poem is beyond stupid. What's even more unbelievable is that the Bushs were dumb enough to actually go public with this.
Maybe he thinks it will win over the lefties. :?
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
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