More things to ponder...

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-10-08 04:36am

Good questions:

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24.. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. If you can have call girls, why don't you have call boys?

29. How can you have a steady girlfriend if she is so unbalanced?

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-08 04:58am

Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-08 05:44am

InnerBrat wrote:Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.

Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-08 05:52am

2000AD wrote:
InnerBrat wrote:Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.
Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)

Ink and Incapability. Blackadder III

*holds out hand*

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-08 07:36am

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

because when they stadiums were first built, you stood in them...

some stadiums in the UK still have standing tiers behind the goals

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-10-08 12:00pm

30. Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a drive way.

31. Where the hell does the white go, when snow melts.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-10-08 01:05pm

jeebus! some of you have no sense of humor today.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-10-08 01:44pm

InnerBrat wrote:
2000AD wrote:
InnerBrat wrote:Webster didn't write the first dictionary, you fool. Dr Johnson did.
Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)
Ink and Incapability. Blackadder III

*holds out hand*

Wasnt the line actually 'contrafibularities'?

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-08 01:47pm

The_Lumberjack wrote:
InnerBrat wrote:
2000AD wrote: Yup, and he got many conflaberelations for it. (cookie for the reference)
Ink and Incapability. Blackadder III

*holds out hand*
Wasnt the line actually 'contrafibularities'?

Probably. Innerbrat still got the cookie before you though.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-10-08 01:49pm

2000AD wrote: Probably. Innerbrat still got the cookie before you though.

Oh, I couldn't have remembered what the episode was called, all credit to IB, as deserved...

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-08 01:56pm

32. Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?

33. The light went out, but where to?

34. When I erase a word with my pencil, where does it go?

35. Why are they called buildings when they're finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-08 01:58pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:jeebus! some of you have no sense of humor today.

sorry, my attention was elsewhere, i didn't even see the joke lol

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-08 02:00pm

36. Isn't dark faster than light since it always seems to be able to get out of lights way?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-10-08 02:01pm

37. Why do they call it "stop n' go driving"? You have to be going before you can stop. Why not call it "go n' stop driving"?

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-10-08 02:03pm

Hah! Trying to steal my number are you!!

Agent R · Post by **Agent R** » 2003-10-08 04:50pm

Where do you people get all this stuff? Better yet, how do you come up with them?

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-10-08 04:58pm

I can answer questions 1, 5-11 ,13-18, 20-26, and 28-29.
It's simple, it's because you touch yourself at night.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-10-08 05:02pm

38. If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, how do we know it fell?
39. Everyone knows that sometimes birds fly into jet engines. Did they ever fly into propellers?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-10-08 10:18pm

I can answer 27: My birthday. Except there's a dead houseplant instead of a a tree.

Something I've been wondering is why you say "pants" as if it's plural, even if there's only one of them. That, and why they don't teach you how to have sex in sex education. Do they ever get further than the missionairy position?

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-10-08 10:22pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:39. Everyone knows that sometimes birds fly into jet engines. Did they ever fly into propellers?

Absolutely; just not quite as damaging.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-10-08 10:29pm

You call them "pants" because you have 2 legs. A "pant" would be just one leg. And maybe a crotch/waistband.

ReinnResauq · Post by **ReinnResauq** » 2003-10-08 10:45pm

40. If a tree falls on your head and no one likes you, is it still really fucking funny?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-08 11:23pm

38. If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, how do we know it fell?

A deaf person witnessed it.

~ver

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-10-08 11:53pm

41. If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what happens when you tie a piece of buttered bread to the back of a cat?

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-10-09 12:58am

2000AD wrote:36. Isn't dark faster than light since it always seems to be able to get out of lights way?

So we should call FTL drives "Dark Drives"?