The Greatest Dream Ever!

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-10-13 12:33pm

I am confident that this was the most awesome, mind-blowing dream anyone has ever had since the beginning of time. Please note that I had it before all that shit in Iraq.

The dream started with myself standing near a small lake. In the lake I saw what looked like a reflection of Jesus Christ. No one noticed at first, but soon anough the area was swarming with people. They came from all over to see the face of Christ.

Former President Jimmy Carter showed up and volunteered to drink the water. He believed that he could channel the spirit of Jesus by drinking the water. He was right. With each drink of water he took, he spoke a few words in the voice of Jesus. Eventually he drank enough holy water that he completely transformed into Jesus.

Jesus then ran for president. The dream skipped over most of the election to get to the results. Christ was elected president by a nearly unanimous vote. The only one to vote against the messiah was an angry homosexual man. There was an entire scene in which the man explained the reasons for his decision. I have forgotten most of it.

One of the first things President Christ did in office was to send troops into Iraq. There was an extended musical sequence at the end in which Saddam Hussein taunted and mocked Jesus. The dream ended just as the war was about to begin.

Psychoanalyze that, Freud! You motherfucker!

EDIT: fixed poll.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-10-13 12:36pm

You equate Jimmy Carter to Jesus...

That'd be really sad for an Atheist, but for a christian it is just beyond words...

EDIT: Besides I had the best dream last night where a REALLY HOT girl I like begged me to do her, and do her I did.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-10-13 12:39pm

Straha wrote:You equate Jimmy Carter to Jesus...

That'd be really sad for an Atheist, but for a christian it is just beyond words...

EDIT: Besides I had the best dream last night where a REALLY HOT girl I like begged me to do her, and do her I did.

What makes you think I'm a christian?

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-10-13 12:41pm

Demiurge wrote:
Straha wrote:You equate Jimmy Carter to Jesus...

That'd be really sad for an Atheist, but for a christian it is just beyond words...

EDIT: Besides I had the best dream last night where a REALLY HOT girl I like begged me to do her, and do her I did.
What makes you think I'm a christian?

Aren't you? I seem to remember you posting something of the sorts in the end of the world thread... if I am mistaken then, then, then... well I don't know...

Still, my dream was cooler then yours!

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-10-13 12:43pm

That was a sarcastic comment used in mockery of christian beliefs. Sorry for the confusion.

Anyway, I just think this dream is really funny.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-10-13 12:44pm

I also think I know why the man that voted against Jesus was angry...

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-13 12:46pm

Demiurge wrote:I also think I know why the man that voted against Jesus was angry...

elaboration is in order

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-10-13 12:49pm

Zac Naloen wrote:
Demiurge wrote:I also think I know why the man that voted against Jesus was angry...
elaboration is in order

Christian beliefs that homosexuality is wrong and all...

It's not a realistic scenario, but I don't really expect that from a dream.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-10-13 04:33pm

You want to hear about weird dreams?

For the past THREE, yes THREE nights, I've been having a dream about some weird Nazi workcamp thing where it's like a summer camp for kids, only they're secretly training them for the Nazi army. Oh, and all the guards are Snowtroopers. Yeah...

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2003-10-13 04:40pm

I was once chased by a giant man-eat Waldo from "Where's Waldo", along with the animals from 'The Jungle Book' on a freeway. That's my weirdest dream to date...that I can recall...

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-10-13 04:43pm

I had a dream where my sister and I beat up a bunch of baseball bat-wielding thugs with tazers.

That was cool.

But then the city was nuked by Russians. Not so cool.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-10-13 04:46pm

You people obviously haven't been wearing your tin-foil hats, my mind control program continues apace.....

Prepare to welcome The Lord-President Jimmy Christ and his unstoppable legions of child Snowtroopers!

Mwahahahaha!

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-10-13 04:51pm

Well, I had following dream once:

I wake up in the bed, and wakes up again to find out that was a dream. Then, I wake up in the same bed and find out that's a dream, too. And that way it goes on and on until I finally wake up and doubt whether this is another dream.

And this dream occured before I saw "eXistenZ"!!

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-10-13 04:53pm

Oh, I forgot that totally fucked up time when I had a nightmare that I was being attacked by Ren & Stimpy, who were sneaking into my room through the air vents.

I "awoke", only to run through the experience another six times before I finally woke up.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-10-13 05:03pm

My sex life in my dreams is much better than the one in reality. Like, absolutely no contest. It's depressing.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-13 05:42pm

i've been dreaming about my almost girlfriend, thats fun... cos i go through conversations with her in the dream that i repeat with her in person.

Unfortunately something always comes after the convo in the dream that doesn't take place in person.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-10-13 05:56pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:I "awoke", only to run through the experience another six times before I finally woke up.

I wrote a story for English class recently... A guy had dreams, he kept dying at the end, then skipping to a new one, with each dream and death getting worse then the last. Unfortunatly, I wasn't paying any attention to myself when I was writing it, and it just kinda became some loosely connected death scenes.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-10-13 06:20pm

When i dream i`m having sex it is with something like this.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-10-13 06:45pm

Montcalm wrote:When i dream i`m having sex it is with something like this.

You dream about having sex with giant nails? Eeuuw.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-10-13 06:48pm

YT300000 wrote:
Montcalm wrote:When i dream i`m having sex it is with something like this.
You dream about having sex with giant nails? Eeuuw.

And what exactly is wrong with dreaming about...having sex...with giant...ok, I think I'm gonna make a quick exit left. *runs to the right, dissappearing.*

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-10-13 06:51pm

Frank Hipper wrote:You people obviously haven't been wearing your tin-foil hats, my mind control program continues apace.....

Prepare to welcome The Lord-President Jimmy Christ and his unstoppable legions of child Snowtroopers!

Mwahahahaha!

Jimmy Christ, eh? I like it!

Simon H.Johansen wrote: Well, I had following dream once:

I wake up in the bed, and wakes up again to find out that was a dream. Then, I wake up in the same bed and find out that's a dream, too. And that way it goes on and on until I finally wake up and doubt whether this is another dream.

Happens to me all the time. I wake up thinking "Is this a dream? Am I really awake? Am I in the Matrix? Sweet merciful crap, what is real?!"

And this dream occured before I saw "eXistenZ"!!

I've never seen that movie, and I think I never should, ever.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-10-13 06:51pm

RedImperator wrote:My sex life in my dreams is much better than the one in reality. Like, absolutely no contest. It's depressing.

That's unfortunate. As for me, I can't even recall the last time I had an erotic dream.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-10-13 06:54pm

Demiurge wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote: Well, I had following dream once:

I wake up in the bed, and wakes up again to find out that was a dream. Then, I wake up in the same bed and find out that's a dream, too. And that way it goes on and on until I finally wake up and doubt whether this is another dream.

Happens to me all the time. I wake up thinking "Is this a dream? Am I really awake? Am I in the Matrix? Sweet merciful crap, what is real?!"

Sounds like that episode of TNG where Picard and co. aren't sure whether they were in the holodeck or not.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-10-13 06:56pm

YT300000 wrote:
Montcalm wrote:When i dream i`m having sex it is with something like this.
You dream about having sex with giant nails? Eeuuw.

Maybe i should have posted a picture of Karen McDougal nude so you`d understand better you sicko.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-10-13 07:02pm

One of my best friends in high school kind of went crazy (this is for real, not the dream yet), and decided she was going to kill herself. So, she wrote a suicide note which blamed her brother and me for her impending self-inflicted death, attempted to shoot and kill herself, failed, and spent a few months in a mental hospital.

Anyway, while she was in the hospital, I had dreams about her shooting herself in her dad's office (which is where it happened), and one morning I awoke suddenly to the sound of a gunshot (it echoed for about 7 seconds after I was jolted awake). It took me about 10 minutes to calm the beating of my heart and the blood rushing through my head so I could assure myself that the shot I had heard was from hunters in the woods near my house (which it was--it had been the first day of hunting season), and NOT from her actually shooting herself in front of me.

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The Greatest Dream Ever!

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The Greatest Dream Ever!