"South Park" is going after Christian Rock.

Bug-Eyed Earl · Post by **Bug-Eyed Earl** » 2003-10-29 12:15am

In tomorrow's episode, the kids create a band, and Cartman decides to make it Christian rock. It shows him softly singing about Jesus in a packed arena, and all of the kids have their eyes closed, and are slowly swaying in unison.

I thought Christian Rock, though deserving to be mocked, simply would never get such treatment, due to apathy. So THANK YOU SOUTH PARK!

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-10-29 12:22am

Good. Normally, I don't mind Christian Rock groups all that much, but they're so fucking whiny that they deserve a nice, South Park-style skewering.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-10-29 12:24am

Go South Park! Christian rock... ROFL. Have you heard this crap? Every damn song is about the same topic ('praise Jesus,' 'I can sing of his love forever...' etc) and it hardly qualifies as rock. It's more like easy listening with a hint of rock. If you ever watch the commercials for it, the people at the concerts act like they're in church while they listen. They hold each others' hands, they put their arms up (I guess because god is 'up' so this is how you get closer to him), close their eyes... But the funniest part is the people themselves. Dungeons and Dragons, anime, Star Wars... none of these 'nerds' even come close to the listeners of Christian rock. Hell, Star Wars, D &D and anime nerds are my kind of people! I am one! But the Christian rockers are like a whole new and dorkier kind of nerd. They're the nerds about which us nerds sit back and say, "my god, I am glad I'm not one of them."

Rock is supposed to be associated with sex an drugs, not silly homophobic self righteous fundy morons!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-10-29 12:28am

Gospel music is painful to listen to, and it's not just because I'm not Christian. Look at some of the fucking lyrics; for example, the lyrics to the once-popular song "God is Watching You" by Amy Grant. If you made a mainstream song with such mind-numbingly repetitive lyrics, you'd be shot. But they accept that kind of thing in the gospel music world for some reason.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-10-29 12:32am

The bit I'm most looking forward to when I tell my mother that I'm an atheist is that she needs to stop playing that shit she calls inspirational music.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-10-29 12:37am

Good luck, DPD.

Man, I remember sitting in church for however long it was (felt like hours) while one old woman played the piano to us singing. You just had to sit there and sing these dumb ass hymns that we sang every week (even though there was a whole book full of hymns, we would always sing the same stupid ones). Sometimes my brother and I would just move our mouthes to the words. Once we got caught so the songleader made us solo a song. Singing those mind numbing songs over and over was like torture and why anyone would want to listen to more of this shit on their own time is totally beyond me. Maybe they think it's 'cool' because it's rock?

jenat-lai · Post by **jenat-lai** » 2003-10-29 04:28am

uh oh.

I make some of this stuff...

but I can agree.

what's with a song (by Delerious) that has the words...

"I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.

And oh I feel like dancing,
It's foolishness I know
When I know I'v seen the light
I'll be dancing with joy like where dancing now.

I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever."

I guess they call that song "I can sing of your love forever" right?

e-GADS!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-10-29 04:40am

Darth Wong wrote:Gospel music is painful to listen to, and it's not just because I'm not Christian. Look at some of the fucking lyrics; for example, the lyrics to the once-popular song "God is Watching You" by Amy Grant. If you made a mainstream song with such mind-numbingly repetitive lyrics, you'd be shot. But they accept that kind of thing in the gospel music world for some reason.

Unfortunately you're not, judging by the crap that's in the charts.

You may even be hailed as a new techno god.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-10-29 06:18am

What's worse is that most of the Christian Rock songs I've heard are ripoffs. They take popular music and change the words.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-10-29 10:14am

Dalton wrote:What's worse is that most of the Christian Rock songs I've heard are ripoffs. They take popular music and change the words.

Wasn't there an epsiode of The Simpsons where Ned Flanders was making a theme park, and a woman he met said that her Christian group went secular, by changing "Jesus" to "baby" in all of the lyrics?

Anyway, most of the Christian Rock I've heard tends to be so slow-paced and dramatic. It's a few steps below that pop-punk stuff like Good Charlotte that whines about how hard it is to be a white middle-class teenager, in my opinion.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-10-29 10:41am

Hmm, I'm a Christian but I've never been much of a fan of gospel music. I mean, some of the stuff I sing in church is pretty cool if for nothign other than it's historical value (stuff by Beethoven, Mozart, Martin Luther, etc.) and the fact that some of the old stuff sounds a heckuva lot better than this new stuff. Not to say I have any kind of problem with Christian rock, I just would rather listen to other stuff.

I'm interested to see what this episode is going to contain, though. You really never know how they are going to portray it or what they are going to do with it.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-10-29 10:52am

I hear every weekend really late at night on the local station here an ad for gospel/christian rock, and some stupid song gets stuck in my head....

SHOUT
to the north and the south
SING
to the east and the west

Then there's one...
and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi
I'm desperate for yoOOOOUUUUUUUU!

Right after that (this one's my fave)
God of wonders beyond our Galaxyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

annoying to no end, and stick in my head until I hear something equally annoying....like David bowie. Christian rock is Evil, I tell you.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-10-29 11:18am

Some within the church are quick to label Christian rock as evil. My uncle is among those who ascribe to the belief that music in church should be somber, involving the use of no musical instruments, everyone singing in unison -- something he claims Paul taught. I attend Calvary Chapel in Olympia, WA, and we do use music with instruments (guitars, drums, trumpets, saxaphones, keyboard, etc), but the folks playing the music and singing on the microphones don't sing alone. We all sing with them, to the Lord. Here is what the Bible says about music unto the Lord:

1 Chronicles 15
16 David told the leaders of the Levites to appoint their brothers as singers to sing joyful songs, accompanied by musical instruments: lyres, harps and cymbals.
(NIV)

There are more Biblical passages, but that one should suffice for now. The above passage describes the form of music used to worship God in the ancient Temple. I know of nothing taught by Jesus that would refute or change that style of singing for the purposes of worship.

I don't listen to Christian rock or gospel these days, instead listening to jazz, classical music, or old 70's & 80's rock. In my younger days, I listened to ear-screeching "Christian speed metal" bands like, Vengeance Rising and Tourniquet. Still have those tapes (yes, I said tapes) somewhere, but I rarely crack open their cases for a listen these days.

As to folks annoyance of Christian rock -- don't listen to it. I can't stand any form of "rap" or country music, so I don't listen to it.

Note: Never watched, "South Park." Know only that the graphics for the cartoon are lousy and some character dressed as an eskimo is constantly killed and revived...

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-10-29 11:30am

Most of your lyrics above are more praise songs than rock. As in Christian music in general, yes.. some are just groups singing praise songs with a little more beat to it.

I'm not into Christian rock, but I do enjoy some Christian songs. Such as Stephen Curtis Chapman, "I Will be Here," which is the proverbial wedding/you're engaged song.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-10-29 11:44am

I was exposed to Christian gospel music on a daily basis for many years when I lived in a chuch-run student residence on campus during university. I'm quite familiar with the various performers of that era (including the aforementioned Stephen Curtis Chapman). In most cases, they are fortunate to have been in gospel music, because they quite frankly lacked the talent to make it in the mainstream. Uninspired instrumentals and unoriginal lyrics are par for the course in that business, where the customer base tolerates such things because they give bonus points for being gospel. In all those years, I never heard one Christian rock song whose melody (disregarding the lyrics) was catchy enough to "stick in my head".

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-10-29 12:03pm

Christian rock is a bastardization. Real gospel is the stuff they still sing in black churches, the stuff that's either descended directly from slave spirituals or actually ARE slave spirituals. The third-rate Evanescense clones that call themselves Christian Rock today can't begin to compete.

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-10-29 12:25pm

Darth Wong wrote:In most cases, they are fortunate to have been in gospel music, because they quite frankly lacked the talent to make it in the mainstream. Uninspired instrumentals and unoriginal lyrics are par for the course in that business, where the customer base tolerates such things because they give bonus points for being gospel. In all those years, I never heard one Christian rock song whose melody (disregarding the lyrics) was catchy enough to "stick in my head".

"In most cases.." Isn't that true though of most music and "musicians" anywhere though? And come on.. it's a whole lost better than 30 year old men singing about angtsy teenage love a la Backstreet Boys ain't it? And I'm sure you've caught some of the absolute dribble that plays on the radio these days.. And yes, some of them MAY be good, but they're just not my cup of tea.

aronkerkhof · Post by **aronkerkhof** » 2003-10-29 12:34pm

Darth Wong wrote:...In most cases, they are fortunate to have been in gospel music, because they quite frankly lacked the talent to make it in the mainstream. Uninspired instrumentals and unoriginal lyrics are par for the course in that business...

Spot on. I was at an Apple Butter Festival a month ago (Its Indiana, don't ask) and I heard some guy crooning off key on and on about his lover. Turns out when you get to the chorus, his lover is of course Jesus Christ. Repetitive lyrics and uncatchy hooks are one thing, but that's just creepy. Then you had the 40 year old Harley women doing their Grateful Dead dancing. You know, the kind where it looks like they are trying to swat the music out of their face or something? And apparently the follow up was going to be a gospel-metal band, Liquid Furnace.

And God is smiling down on that, is he? If he's going to smote, why not smote something worth the smiting?

Post by **Steve** » 2003-10-29 12:45pm

I have no opinions on Christian rock.

Southern Gospel, however, still sticks in my head even after ten-twelve years. They had some really catchy tunes.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-10-29 03:10pm

Christian rock i like:

Soulfly
That song at the end of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Music that appeared inthe first Blues Brothers movie.

And anything else that sounds good.

CmdrWilkens · Post by **CmdrWilkens** » 2003-10-29 04:02pm

As with most forms of music Christian Rock groups fall into several categories:

The good ones (which you'll never hear)
The listenable ones (who used to be the good ones then got a producer)
The radio repeat ones (which are the most annoying)
The utter crap (the vast majority)

I honestly went through a very devout phase in my life during the first three years of high school and actually came across several groups that could hold a beat and sing lyrics that weren't a constant repitition of "I love you Jesus." In many cases these were songs built much like power ballads only instead of a woman to love its God/Jesus. Were there a great deal of unoriginal jerks who just rode the "I'm a christian singer give me money" wagon? Sure btu there are plenty of people riding a similair wagon just with the "christian" replaced by "rock, rap, country, punk, etc."

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-10-29 04:15pm

Rye wrote:That song at the end of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

...that was KISS, dude. KISS!

I'd also like to mention an old 60s or 70s song called "Spirit in the Sky".

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-10-29 05:25pm

My little brother was in a band for many years, called Under Authority.

I would provide a link to the webpage, but it seems to be down. Might be because the band split after 10 years due to creative differences.

However, they did not play the repetitive songs that are popular today as "Christian Rock". Under Authority played what they'd grown up with... 80's rock. Some songs made you think of Boston or Journey. Others leaned towards Alice Cooper.

Pity how just when they'd gotten a recording contract, they fell apart.

Guess God didnt want them to be famous..

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-10-29 05:25pm

Dalton wrote:
Rye wrote:That song at the end of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
...that was KISS, dude. KISS!

I'd also like to mention an old 60s or 70s song called "Spirit in the Sky".

That reminds me of gareth gates' cover version (the only version i know) that was for Comic relief last time round. Man, i hated that version.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-10-29 06:15pm

jenat-lai wrote:uh oh.

I make some of this stuff...

but I can agree.

what's with a song (by Delerious) that has the words...

"I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.

And oh I feel like dancing,
It's foolishness I know
When I know I'v seen the light
I'll be dancing with joy like where dancing now.

I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever.
I can sing of your love forever."

I guess they call that song "I can sing of your love forever" right?

e-GADS!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!

That's the chorus. You missed the verses. (Although that song does suck...I dislike it immensely).

Truly, just about the only "Christian" bands I listen to are Evanescence and a bit of POD. Trans-Siberian Orchestra is sorta Christian (all the members are, and they do mention Christian themes in the storylines behind their music). Most of the Christian music on the radio falls into what I call "Christopop," and is just pure, unadulterated crap. I'd rather listen to someone with talent, like the early Elton John or Billy Joel.