Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked
the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
answers came up --fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all
his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really
good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for
money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to
ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "He plays for the Red Sox, but I was too
embarrassed to say so."
Joke
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Zac Naloen
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i guess that means that the red soxs suck 
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Bit of an old one, I've heard the same joke with lawyers/politicians etc inserted into it... 
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Ok i posted this in a n IM conversation last night ( i think, damn memory) and i think it's funny, if only because of my knowledge of school-related telling-offs. It goes like this:
Once upon a time there was an inflatable boy. His inflatable parents got divorced when he was young, and he lives in an inflatable house with his inflatable mother.
Due to the unhappy divorce, inflatable boy is a bit emotionally unstable and one day, when going to his inflatable school, he takes an inflatable knife.
He gets to his inflatable school and goes to the lesson he's been dreading, with a teacher who is well known for picking on emotional inflatable kids.
He sits in his inflatable chair and the lesson starts, not long into it, the inflatable teacher starts hounding inflatable boy for answers to questions, and all of a sudden, inflatable boy snaps, and he STABS the teacher.
Realising what he's done, inflatable boy says "oh no!" and runs out of the inflatable classroom and down the inflatable corridor, he turns a corner, making for the exit when the inflatable headmaster stops him, saying "what are you doing out of class?"
In the panic, inflatable boy STABS the inflatable headmaster, and runs out of the inflatable doors.
Once outside, inflatable boy STABS the school and runs off home.
Once home, his mum asks: "What are you doing home, inflatable boy?" and inflatable boy STABS his own mother!
Inflatable boy cannot believe what he's just done.
He goes up to his room and puts some inflatable goth music on and STABS himself!
<Cut to a week later, inflatable boy is alive and well, and sat in a confidential meeting with his parents and the headteacher>
There's an uneasy silence, the inflatable headteacher maintaining eye contact with inflatable boy. Then he opens his mouth and says:
"Inflatable boy, you've let me down, you've let your teacher down, you've let the school down, you've let your parents down...but worst of all, you've let yourself down."
[/joke]
I predict 1 person in 20 will actually find this joke funny, and i am he.
Once upon a time there was an inflatable boy. His inflatable parents got divorced when he was young, and he lives in an inflatable house with his inflatable mother.
Due to the unhappy divorce, inflatable boy is a bit emotionally unstable and one day, when going to his inflatable school, he takes an inflatable knife.
He gets to his inflatable school and goes to the lesson he's been dreading, with a teacher who is well known for picking on emotional inflatable kids.
He sits in his inflatable chair and the lesson starts, not long into it, the inflatable teacher starts hounding inflatable boy for answers to questions, and all of a sudden, inflatable boy snaps, and he STABS the teacher.
Realising what he's done, inflatable boy says "oh no!" and runs out of the inflatable classroom and down the inflatable corridor, he turns a corner, making for the exit when the inflatable headmaster stops him, saying "what are you doing out of class?"
In the panic, inflatable boy STABS the inflatable headmaster, and runs out of the inflatable doors.
Once outside, inflatable boy STABS the school and runs off home.
Once home, his mum asks: "What are you doing home, inflatable boy?" and inflatable boy STABS his own mother!
Inflatable boy cannot believe what he's just done.
He goes up to his room and puts some inflatable goth music on and STABS himself!
<Cut to a week later, inflatable boy is alive and well, and sat in a confidential meeting with his parents and the headteacher>
There's an uneasy silence, the inflatable headteacher maintaining eye contact with inflatable boy. Then he opens his mouth and says:
"Inflatable boy, you've let me down, you've let your teacher down, you've let the school down, you've let your parents down...but worst of all, you've let yourself down."
[/joke]
I predict 1 person in 20 will actually find this joke funny, and i am he.
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Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
Re: Joke
Actually, the correct way is to say that Johnny's dad plays for an American hockey team.Tsyroc wrote:Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked
the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
answers came up --fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all
his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really
good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for
money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to
ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "He plays for the Red Sox, but I was too
embarrassed to say so."
Name changes are for people who wear women's clothes. - Zuul
Wow. It took me a good minute to remember I didn't have testicles. -xBlackFlash
Are you sure this isn't like that time Michael Jackson stopped by your house so he could use the bathroom? - Superman
Wow. It took me a good minute to remember I didn't have testicles. -xBlackFlash
Are you sure this isn't like that time Michael Jackson stopped by your house so he could use the bathroom? - Superman
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
(new 2003 version)
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB -She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED
COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY
ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -She is PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
(new 2003 version)
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB -She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED
COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY
ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -She is PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID
GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY
DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID
GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY
DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
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Zac Naloen
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- Location: United Kingdom
Omg, thats hilarious!!Rye wrote:Ok i posted this in a n IM conversation last night ( i think, damn memory) and i think it's funny, if only because of my knowledge of school-related telling-offs. It goes like this:*snip*.
*saves to hard drive to show all his friends*
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