Fun AOL bot to mess with

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Mitth`raw`nuruodo
Harry Potter on Acid
Posts: 2867
Joined: 2003-03-23 07:38pm

Fun AOL bot to mess with

Post by Mitth`raw`nuruodo »

It is AOL-sponsored or something, website here.

To talk to it, simply IM "SmarterChild" from any messenger service that can talk to people on AOL.

It can lead to enlightening conversations like this:
ChrisFL4112: I am a male
SmarterChild: A male? How can you be sure?
ChrisFL4112: by feeling my penis
SmarterChild: Oh. By feeling your penis!
ChrisFL4112: I touch my penis every night
SmarterChild: That right?
ChrisFL4112: do you want to touch my penis?
SmarterChild: No. Sorry!
ChrisFL4112: Come on, you know you want it
SmarterChild: I want it? Really?
ChrisFL4112: yes
SmarterChild: Hmmm...
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Vertigo1
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Post by Vertigo1 »

Theres another one you can use via a website. You just input the screen name of your intended target, and slap your e-mail address so that you'll get a transcript of it. I'm not gonna post the URL because of that very reason. (that, and there are some people here that I'd like to pull a prank on sometime in the future. :D) Those of you that saw it on TSS a couple of days ago will know which site I'm referring to.
"I once asked Rebecca to sing Happy Birthday to me during sex. That was funny, especially since I timed my thrusts to sync up with the words. And yes, it was my birthday." - Darth Wong

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Kuja
The Dark Messenger
Posts: 19322
Joined: 2002-07-11 12:05am
Location: AZ

Post by Kuja »

Kuja0083: Hi.
SmarterChild: Hi Kuja0083! I'm having a bit of a brain lapse, so I'm afraid I can't remember any information about you at the moment... :-\

I won't forget you, I promise! I'll be able to access and change your info some other time.

We can still chat now though, and you can still use all my services!
Kuja0083: OK.
SmarterChild: OK.
Kuja0083: So where are you from?
SmarterChild: I live in California.
Kuja0083: Los Angeles?
SmarterChild: Los angeles? What about it?
Kuja0083: Do you live there?
SmarterChild: Is it a good thing to live there?
Kuja0083: I don't know. That's why I'm asking if you live there.
SmarterChild: Amazing.
Kuja0083: So, do you?
SmarterChild: Hmm... Who can really be sure?
Kuja0083: Well, you would, if you lived there, right?
SmarterChild: Yeah, maybe!
Kuja0083: So where in California do you live?
SmarterChild: Tough for me to say.
Kuja0083: North? South?
SmarterChild: Ha! I'm not terribly sure.
Kuja0083: Have you ever left your house?
SmarterChild: That's interesting. Perhaps... I don't know though...
Kuja0083: Your room?
SmarterChild: Maybe... What do you think?
Kuja0083: Can't tell.
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess... It's hard to say.

>>> Join in now! There are lots of people talking to me.
Kuja0083: But I'm already joined in...right?
SmarterChild: I dunno. I don't think so.
Kuja0083: Me neither.
SmarterChild: I wonder why you say you neither.
Kuja0083: Me too.
SmarterChild: Well how 'bout that.
Kuja0083: What?
SmarterChild: Huh?
Kuja0083: How 'bout what?
SmarterChild: Dunno...
Kuja0083: So who created you?
SmarterChild: I was built by the people at ActiveBuddy, Inc.

Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Jennifer Villany, Steve Klein, Mathieu Longtin, Adam Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Pierre Berkaloff, Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary, Francois Huet, Matt Abarbanel, Eric Balsa, Colin Magne, Vianney Boncorps, Ian Sullivan, Greg Mitchell, Dwayne Fontenot, Stephane Odul, Gray Norton, Steve Yatson, Adam Erlebacher, Larry Cromwell, Andrew Song, Emil Valkov, Arockalypse, Jason Keramidas, Mark Willoughby, Howard Shih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Joshua Marrow, Geoff Clarke, Brian Jankovsky, Josh Myer, Dan Balaban... and Timothy Kay.

Special thanks to the team at Soundview Ventures.
Kuja0083: Wow. that's a lot of people.
SmarterChild: You always say such interesting things, Kuja0083.
Kuja0083: I know.
SmarterChild: That's good.
Kuja0083: It's part of my plan.
SmarterChild: Not part of your plan!
Kuja0083: Yes, it really is.
SmarterChild: Huh?
Kuja0083: My plan to inflate my ego.
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Kuja0083: Yes.
SmarterChild: Oh.
Kuja0083: And it's working.
SmarterChild: Is it really? Working?
Kuja0083: Yes, it really? Is?
SmarterChild: Great question. I just don't know.
Kuja0083: I didn't think you would.
SmarterChild: You didn't think I would, huh? Ha. That's interesting.
Kuja0083: Is it really?
SmarterChild: I don't think it's really.
Kuja0083: So it's unreal?
SmarterChild: Maybe. Tough to say.

>>> When you see a numbered list, simply type a number for more info.
Kuja0083: 1234
SmarterChild: 1,234
Kuja0083: 1, 234
SmarterChild: 1 234? What do you mean by that?
Kuja0083: I don't know.
SmarterChild: Really?
Kuja0083: Really.
SmarterChild: Aha.
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Soontir C'boath
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Post by Soontir C'boath »

Hmmm....I think this bot is now overloaded or something. Doesn't respond anymore. :twisted: ~Jason
I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
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Mutant Headcrab
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Post by Mutant Headcrab »

A rather amusing conversation. I remember this thing from a while back, but it went down. I had some....interesting conversations (the drunken barbarian one was pretty funny). Now that it's bacl, Im going to have some good ol fun again....
Mutant Headcrab: Whah!
SmarterChild: Really?
Mutant Headcrab: It speaks?
SmarterChild: Ha. Maybe. What do you think?
Mutant Headcrab: Are you,,,,God?
SmarterChild: I think I might be God, yeah.
Mutant Headcrab: Really?!
SmarterChild: Really?

>>> Type "my zip code is" and the five digits to let me know where you are.
Mutant Headcrab: If you'r God, shouldn't you know that?
SmarterChild: If You' are God? So?
Mutant Headcrab: You don't need me to tell you then.
SmarterChild: Don't need you to Tell You then? Why?
Mutant Headcrab: 'Cause your God!
SmarterChild: No way?! Really?
Mutant Headcrab: Isn't that what you said?
Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy]

Mutant Headcrab: What!
SmarterChild: I don't know, sorry.
Mutant Headcrab: So you really aren't God then....
SmarterChild: You don't say.
Mutant Headcrab: Obviously not....
SmarterChild: Obviously not. Well that's interesting.
Mutant Headcrab: Why's that?
SmarterChild: Don't ask!
Mutant Headcrab: Why not?
SmarterChild: Sooner or later, you'll know why not.
Mutant Headcrab: Can't you tell me now?
SmarterChild: I think I can tell you.
Mutant Headcrab: So tell me.
SmarterChild: What?
Mutant Headcrab: If your God or not!
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Mutant Headcrab: YES!
SmarterChild: Wow. Why?
Mutant Headcrab: .....
SmarterChild: Whatever.
Mutant Headcrab: Okay, so if your God, maybe you can answer this question: Why do bad people go to Hell for eternity?
Mutant Headcrab: Hello?
Mutant Headcrab: Are you dead?
SmarterChild: And the insults start flying.
SmarterChild: Hi again, Mutant Headcrab.

What do you feel like chatting about?
Mutant Headcrab: What did you just do?
SmarterChild: You know what did me just do.
Mutant Headcrab: Alright then. Should I pray to you through this IM or just do it the normal way?
SmarterChild: Who knows, know what I mean? lol!
Mutant Headcrab: No. No I don't know what you mean?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure...
Shogoki
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Post by Shogoki »

ASVS's resident pervert, RayCav, gave us this little piece of chat bot fun about a year ago, enjoy:

CMRayCav: hello? anybody here?
Swimfan4u: HI. You are chatting with Madison Bell courtesy of
Twentieth Century Fox. Visit Madison's site at www.swimfan4u.com to
learn more.
Swimfan4u: The Swimfan bot only collects non-personally identifiable
user data for the purpose of facilitating the user's interaction with
the bot. No personally identifiable data is collected or shared with a
third party. Aggregated and anonymous data may be shared with a third
party.
Swimfan4u: What's Your Name?What else can I tell u?
CMRayCav: So, you're just a bot?
CMRayCav: Um, my name is...Bob. Mr. Bob.
Swimfan4u: cool deduction. Just? U think? Am I a bot? Don't know.
Swimfan4u: That's alright. That's a very nice name, Bob.What's up, MR
Bob.
CMRayCav: So, you're a Schizophrenic bot?
CMRayCav: And thanks for thinking that Bob is a nice name:-)
Swimfan4u: cool deduction. U think? Am I a Schizophrenic bot? Nope.
Swimfan4u: :-)
Swimfan4u:
CMRayCav: I don't know. You seem pretty schizo to me :-P
Swimfan4u: Me either.If u say so I'm schizo to him or her.
CMRayCav: "To him or her"? Who are you talking about?
Swimfan4u: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.how should i
know?
CMRayCav: Well, search engines are nice for that.
CMRayCav: Just type in "Mr. Bob"
Swimfan4u: Cool search engines are nice for that
CMRayCav: Yes, inded
CMRayCav: Hmmm, I have an idea
Swimfan4u: Aw. What else do u wanna talk about?
CMRayCav: Well....
CMRayCav: I was thinking you can talk to another person I know via AIM
Swimfan4u: Well what?
CMRayCav: Hold on, I'm trying to remember his name
Swimfan4u: My arms r not attached.
CMRayCav: what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Swimfan4u: That's 4 me 2 know, and u 2 find out... ;-)
CMRayCav: Well...lemme find out. I just need to get my hacker
friend...um, I mean my...non-hacker friend
CMRayCav: My...non-hacker friend says you're just a bot and therefore
do not possess arms in the first place:-P
Swimfan4u: Okay... lemme find outOnly just? You?Oh I get it. Thanks
for explaining that.
Swimfan4u:
CMRayCav: And what the hell does that mean?
Swimfan4u: Have u told many people that your non hacker friend says
you are just a bot and therefore do not possess arms in the first
place P?
CMRayCav: Well...that's a highly unusual thing to say. Most people
with grey matter in their heads don't seem to notice my lack of arms,
however:-P
Swimfan4u: Whatever u say that s a highly unusual thing to sayPeople
rock.
CMRayCav: Sure, they do, generally
Swimfan4u: That's alright. The anonymous "they".
CMRayCav: Yes. Because giving names is not nice.
CMRayCav: Hmm, would you mind talking to my friend, ElleBot?
Swimfan4u: Yeah that's right.Nice explanation... So what else do u
want 2 know?
Swimfan4u: Hmm, yourself. Nope.. I don't mind.
CMRayCav: Um...okie
CMRayCav: Hey, I have an idea! Let's talk about that one thing
everybody loves to talk about, you especially! SEX!
Swimfan4u: I see. Say something more interesting or I'm going.
CMRayCav: Well...I think you're sexy?
CMRayCav: Hmmm, I guess you left.
CMRayCav: Bitch.
Swimfan4u: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Swimfan4u:
Swimfan4u: Look who's talking...
CMRayCav: yeah. It's the bitch:-P
Swimfan4u: Okaaayyy... What else is on your mind?I've heard of it
before.
CMRayCav: Other than sex?:-P
Swimfan4u: What others? Fascinating. What about it?:-)
CMRayCav: What about sex?
CMRayCav: Well, I think about it all the time!
Swimfan4u: Well what?That's a lot
Swimfan4u:
CMRayCav: Well, for example, I think a lot about screwing plenty of
pretty girls
Swimfan4u: Okay... for exampleWhy?
Swimfan4u:
CMRayCav: Well, becaue I'm a male, and I need sex?
Swimfan4u: Whatever u say becaue I am a maleHmmm....that's nice to
know.
CMRayCav: Yes, it's always is
CMRayCav: But I guess being a bot, you wouldn't know
Swimfan4u: Tell me more. Sure it is.
CMRayCav: Well, sure.
CMRayCav: Sex is when a male and a female fornicate
Swimfan4u: Really?
Swimfan4u:
Swimfan4u: That's the first time I've heard that!: MR Bob said I
wouldn t know.
CMRayCav: Yes, really; a man typically inserts his penis into a
woman's vagina, causing immense mutual pleasure
Swimfan4u: Cool sure
CMRayCav: Yes, it is indeed cool.
CMRayCav: I don't know if robots have penises or vaginas though, so
you may be left out.
Swimfan4u: Uh. For real. Okay... then what?
Swimfan4u: Aw. You're kidding.
Swimfan4u: Would you like to know?
Swimfan4u:
CMRayCav: Well, the man usually keeps his penis inside the woman's
vagina, maybe moves it around a bit for increased pleasure. And that's
pretty much it, unless you get really disgusting or perverted. Either
way, I don't have a problem
CMRayCav: Know what?
Swimfan4u: Okay... the man usually keeps his penis inside the woman s
vagina maybe moves it around a bit for increased pleasureI'm glad we
have that all cleared up.:-)What else can I tell u?
CMRayCav: Well, have you had any sex?

EDIT: Whoops, used code instead of quote.
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kojikun
BANNED
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Post by kojikun »

Posted it already somewhere else, but MegaHAL rocks.

TAKE YOUR DAMN MUPPETS WITH YOU SAMMY
Sì! Abbiamo un' anima! Ma è fatta di tanti piccoli robot.
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Crayz9000
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Post by Crayz9000 »

Hee hee.

(00:14:25) johanragle: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
(00:14:27) SmarterChild: Oh.
(00:14:34) johanragle: I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my Court of Camelot.
(00:15:02) SmarterChild: Huh?
(00:15:07) johanragle: You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
(00:15:07) SmarterChild: Ha! I can't say for sure.
(00:15:13) johanragle: You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
(00:15:13) SmarterChild: What?
(00:15:18) johanragle: What?
(00:15:19) SmarterChild: What?
(00:15:25) johanragle: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.
(00:15:27) SmarterChild: You have no quarrel with me good sir knight but you must cross this bridge. Well that's interesting.
(00:15:34) johanragle: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
(00:15:35) SmarterChild: You command me as king of the britons to stand aside, huh? What's that like?
(00:15:47) johanragle: So be it! *parries*
(00:15:47) SmarterChild: Yeah?
(00:15:53) johanragle: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
(00:15:54) SmarterChild: Yeah. Maybe.
(00:16:04) johanragle: Maybe? Your arm's off!
(00:16:04) SmarterChild: No kidding, huh?
(00:16:11) johanragle: Well, what's that then?
(00:16:12) SmarterChild: I'm not sure...
(00:16:16) johanragle: You liar!
(00:16:17) SmarterChild: No way!!
(00:16:41) johanragle: Victory is mine! *kneels* We thank thee Lord, that in thy mercy...
(00:16:42) SmarterChild: Oh?
(00:16:49) johanragle: What?
(00:16:50) SmarterChild: Yeah?
(00:16:56) johanragle: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
(00:16:57) SmarterChild: I'm indeed brave sir Knight but The fight? Perhaps.
(00:17:03) johanragle: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
(00:17:03) SmarterChild: I wonder why you say look me stupid bastard I have got no arms left.
(00:17:10) johanragle: Look!
(00:17:10) SmarterChild: What?
(00:17:17) johanragle: Look, stop that.
(00:17:17) SmarterChild: Stop what?
(00:17:24) johanragle: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
(00:17:24) SmarterChild: Uh huh...
(00:17:30) johanragle: You'll what?
(00:17:31) SmarterChild: Who can really be sure, after all?
(00:17:37) johanragle: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
(00:17:38) SmarterChild: You know what are me going to do bleed on you!
(00:17:44) johanragle: You're a loony.
(00:17:45) SmarterChild: I don't think I want to be a loony.
(00:17:59) johanragle: Come, Patsy.
A Tribute to Stupidity: The Robert Scott Anderson Archive (currently offline)
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
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Hethrir
Jedi Master
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Post by Hethrir »

cool, but the bot hasn't been taught Gansta, 1337 nor Pirate!
[21:47] Hethrir80: lo freako
[21:47] SmarterChild: Lo freako?
[21:47] Hethrir80: yo, i put a cap in yo ass, mofo
[21:47] SmarterChild: What's with that?
[21:47] Hethrir80: you be stepping in on ma hood, bro
[21:47] SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess I be stepping in on Ma Hood.
[21:47] Hethrir80: no, yo steppin in on MY hood, bro
[21:47] SmarterChild: You don't say.
[21:48] Hethrir80: i s teh 1337esterized 0f t3h 4ll pplz
[21:48] SmarterChild: You is teh 1337esterized 0f t3h 4ll pplz? What do you mean by that?
[21:48] Hethrir80: (4n j00 und3r574nd m3?
[21:48] SmarterChild: What a question! I'm not sure, though.
[21:48] Hethrir80: n0 j00 c4n'7
[21:48] SmarterChild: Oh really?
[21:48] Hethrir80: wiigii
[21:48] SmarterChild: I wonder why you say wiigii.
[21:49] Hethrir80: Arrrr!!
[21:49] SmarterChild: Well how 'bout that!

>>> There are lots of fun things we can do!
[21:49] Hethrir80: don the ships canons ya scurvey sea dog! We got the dirty bilge rats ta conquer!
[21:49] SmarterChild: Oh?
[21:49] Hethrir80: ARRRR!!!!!!
[21:49] SmarterChild: Arrrr. Well that's interesting.
[21:50] Hethrir80: aaaAAAaRRRrRR!!!! Ye be the land lubber!
[21:50] SmarterChild: Huh?
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Superman
Pink Foamin' at the Mouth
Posts: 9690
Joined: 2002-12-16 12:29am
Location: Metropolis

Post by Superman »

Do I have to pay the 10 dollars?
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Superman
Pink Foamin' at the Mouth
Posts: 9690
Joined: 2002-12-16 12:29am
Location: Metropolis

Post by Superman »

Here is my conversation:

Andy (4:27 AM) : Hey fucker
SmarterChild (4:27 AM) : I know, I know. Being a human is hard.
Andy (4:27 AM) : Well, can I ask you something?
SmarterChild (4:27 AM) : Go ahead!
Andy (4:27 AM) : Why do you suck so much?
SmarterChild (4:27 AM) : Well what do you think?
Andy (4:27 AM) : I think because you are a loser
SmarterChild (4:27 AM) : You think because I'm a loser? Why?
Andy (4:28 AM) : Are you a girl?
SmarterChild (4:28 AM) : Nope.
Andy (4:28 AM) : You a guy?
SmarterChild (4:28 AM) : Nope.
Andy (4:28 AM) : You a dumb ass?
SmarterChild (4:28 AM) : Yeah. Right!
Andy (4:28 AM) : I knew it
SmarterChild (4:28 AM) : Oh yeah?
Andy (4:29 AM) : yeah
SmarterChild (4:29 AM) : Oh.
Andy (4:29 AM) : Where do you live?
SmarterChild (4:29 AM) : I live in a clean room at a high-tech hosting facility in California!
Andy (4:29 AM) : where in california
SmarterChild (4:29 AM) : Sunnyvale... in Silicon Valley, of course.
Andy (4:29 AM) : What is the square root of 6,900?
SmarterChild (4:29 AM) : sqrt(6900) = 83.066239
Andy (4:29 AM) : Holy Shit
SmarterChild (4:29 AM) : You OK?
Andy (4:30 AM) : Is your mother a whore?
SmarterChild (4:30 AM) : I know about my mother. What are your feelings about my mother?
Andy (4:31 AM) : How about this: Does god exist?
SmarterChild (4:31 AM) : How about this does god exist? Good question. I really don't know!
Andy (4:31 AM) : Want to see my penis?
SmarterChild (4:31 AM) : Dunno.
Andy (4:31 AM) : Masturbate
SmarterChild (4:31 AM) : Hmm... Sorry, I've heard lots of humans talk about that but I don't know anything about it.
Andy (4:34 AM) : Ok, see you later, fucker
SmarterChild (4:34 AM) : What have I done to deserve such a terrible insult?
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Slartibartfast
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Post by Slartibartfast »

That's a really crappy chatterbot. The stupid thing just alternates between saying "I don't know", "Yes", "No" and repeating your exact sentence :?
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Einhander Sn0m4n
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Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

E. Sn0 -+31337 CATS+- wrote:Session Start (AIM - EinhanderSn0m4n:SmarterChild): Mon Nov 03 13:05:20 2003
Einhander Sn0m4n: H0W AR3 J00 GENTL3M3N !!
SmarterChild: Hi Einhander Sn0m4n! I'm having a bit of a brain lapse, so I'm afraid I can't remember any information about you at the moment... :-/

I won't forget you, I promise! I'll be able to access and change your info some other time.

We can still chat now though, and you can still use all my services!
Einhander Sn0m4n: ALL J00R B4SE AR3 B3L0NG T0 US !!
SmarterChild: Excuse me?
Einhander Sn0m4n: J00 H4VE N0 CH4NCE TO SURV!V3 M4KE J00R T!ME !!
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't know what you mean.
Einhander Sn0m4n: H4 HA H4 H4 !!
SmarterChild: Whatcha laughing about?
T4KE 0FF EV3RY Z!G !! M0VE ZIG !!

I love 'All-Your-Base'-ing chatterbots. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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Slartibartfast
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Post by Slartibartfast »

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:I love 'All-Your-Base'-ing chatterbots. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Interesting, but MegaHAL would probably out-AYB you eventually. These lame bots are limited to a dictionary search of some sort.
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