The Funny Quotes thread

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-11-16 01:34pm

"The problem with democracy is that every dumb bastard gets a say" - Not sure, might have been me when i was drunk.

"The Meaning of Life? It Ends" - Judge Rico

"Egos are like assholes, everybody has one" - Fred Durst

"Just Because You're Paranoid, Don't Mean They're Not After You" - Kurt Cobain

"I hate Old School Rock and Metal, give me a Nu Rock Band like The Darkness" - My older sister

"Give a man a fish and he'll feed his family for a day, Give a man a fishing rod and he'll drink beer and talk shit with his friends for a day" - Unknown

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-11-16 01:36pm

Lord Pounder wrote:"The problem with democracy is that every dumb bastard gets a say" - Not sure, might have been me when i was drunk.

That's Arnold Rimmer in the first Red Dwarf Book.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-11-16 01:38pm

Rye wrote:
Lord Pounder wrote:"The problem with democracy is that every dumb bastard gets a say" - Not sure, might have been me when i was drunk.
That's Arnold Rimmer in the first Red Dwarf Book.

Thanks, it is a quote i use a lot. I read Red Dwarf so long ago thay i forgot most of it completely.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-11-16 03:39pm

Here's one I just discovered today:

"All this talk of war and victorious battles seems to put a young man's blood in my cock!" - UrLeyn, Inversions

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-11-16 04:39pm

First off, it was not a strip club, it was an erotic club. And what can I say, I'm a night owl.- Marion Berry

Will highways to the internet become more few?- George W. Bush

There are no Americans in Baghdad!- The Iraqi Information Minister

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-11-16 05:07pm

From Aaron Allston books

Pretty.......What do we blow up first? (Solo Command)
*While talking to Jaina Solo about her godess role*
Piggy: But you tell anyine you really trust.
Sharr: no she can't
Piggy: Yes she can.
Sharr: i'm the psychological warfare expert here, and i say she can't
Piggy i'm three times your mass, and can take off your head inm a single bite and i say she can.

From BtvS:
"I'm here to kill you not to judge you"

Giles: It's the end of the world
All: Again?!?

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-11-17 08:37pm

Got another one.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-11-17 08:58pm

And another.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-11-17 09:13pm

Ignorant_Boy wrote: Well, Shakespeare was a dirly old man. Which work is that quote from anyway?

Romeo and Juliet, I think... I just read it last quarter, but I'm still not too sure...

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-11-17 09:14pm

Please sir, Swotty Brooke Taylor's got his hand up...
Oh, sorry, Sandy, didn't think you'd notice.

Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke Taylor, BBC Radio 4, I'm sorry I havent a clue. Go listen to it on Listen Again at the radio 4 website.

IndustrialNoise · Post by **IndustrialNoise** » 2003-11-17 09:26pm

From the movie Tommy Boy:

Tommy: "You can take a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it?"

Tommy: I called.
Richard Hayden: Oh, yeah? What number did you dial?
Tommy: three , seven , six, niner, five, two.....
Richard Hayden: You're kinda trailin' off there. And did I catch a "niner" in there? What were you calling from, a walkie talkie?
Tommy: It was a cordless.
Richard Hayden: You know what? Not here, not now.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-11-17 09:32pm

Exonerate wrote:
Ignorant_Boy wrote: Well, Shakespeare was a dirly old man. Which work is that quote from anyway?
Romeo and Juliet, I think... I just read it last quarter, but I'm still not too sure...

Who in the play said that?

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-11-17 09:45pm

anarchistbunny wrote:
Exonerate wrote:
Ignorant_Boy wrote: Well, Shakespeare was a dirly old man. Which work is that quote from anyway?
Romeo and Juliet, I think... I just read it last quarter, but I'm still not too sure...
Who in the play said that?

My mistake, I did a brief search... Its Venus and Adonis by Shakespeare.

JME2 · Post by **JME2** » 2003-11-18 01:22am

Thank you.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-11-18 01:23am

British Imperial One: It's the Rebels, Sir. They're here.
British Imperial Two: My God, man, do they want tea?

Eddie Izzard on the Death Star. Dressed to Kill.

Edit: And there we have post 1001. Wooo. Yeh. Orgy at my place etc.

I thought it would mean more... sob...