So, since I tend to post what's on my mind to OT, I thought that I might as well start a thread to compile a list of tips and tricks of how to act on a first date. This is, of course, mainly for guys. Let's face it, we're the ones generally being judged with more scrutiny the first time around. Of course, the wimminfolk are welcome to voice their opinions, as well.
Firstly, be sure to identify whether or not the social engagement is actually a date and not just a casual get-together. A man and woman can go out for fun without having any mutual romantic attraction whatsoever. A good rule of thumb is that it's not a date if the cost is being split. If the guy is paying, it's a date.
Now that you're set out on what you think is a date, how should you act? Well, here are some things I've learned the hard way. A lot of these are simple common sense, but that tends to go flying out the window when involved with the opposite sex. So it helps to write them down and keep them in your head so you don't do anything stupid.
- Don't appear too aggressive or opinionated. That behavior is generally reserved for when there's competition among many men for one girl, and she is basically subconsciously trying to identify who the alpha of the group is. If you're on a date, you're past that stage. My tendency to rant until my mouth is dry has burned me on a few occasions. You don't want to appear weak or reserved, but she's got to feel like she's a part of the conversation, too.
- Avoid mentioning disgusting shit, even if it's good for a laugh. There's an episode of Seinfeld that illustrates this perfectly. George is on a date with a woman, and he mentions his thoughts on the word "manure." Right after, she casually slips in the fact that she has a boyfriend (he later learned that she was lying). Was George's view an interesting perspective on the description of cow dung? Sure. Does that matter? No. Manure is feces, and feces are disgusting.
- Try to avoid the standard "dinner and a movie" for a first date. It requires entirely too much planning, and if you're going to any decent restaurant, on prompt service. It also restricts possible times to the evening. Save it for the second date, when you know you're both interested. Make the first date an activity, like bowling, mini-golf or whatever. You'll be able to do it in the afternoon if you're both on weird schedules, and awkward silences will be basically minimized, and you'll have something to talk about ("Man, I suck at bowling"). Make sure it's something you don't get overly passionate about, so that you both can just have a good time, even if you've never shot pool or bowled in your life. Doing something physical will also help keep your mind off of sex, you horny bastard. Make sure there's a place around the grab a bite to eat afterward, too.
- Carry a pack of gum or something that will freshen your breath. Toothpaste ads are full of shit. No toothpaste will keep your breath clean for the entire day. There are few things that can ruin an evening like bad breath.
- Smile. If you're enjoying yourself, let her know. If not, well then this is a little pointless anyway.
- Look at her face. Unless she's a slut, she's not going to be flattered if you stare at her cleavage all night.
- Keep a loose eye out for the "You'd better kiss me before the night's over" signals. If she appears relaxed when sitting next to you, makes physical contact with you deliberately and somewhat frequently, holds your hand or similar gestures, you're doing a good job, and unless she's ridiculously prude, you've earned some mouth-play. You don't necessarily have to save it for the end of the night, but you sure as Hell shouldn't do it in public. That's tacky.
