Tips on how to act on a first date

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-11-19 12:24pm

observer_20000 wrote:
Durandal wrote:A good rule of thumb is that it's not a date if the cost is being split. If the guy is paying, it's a date.
Be careful with that though, some girls don't like being paid for.

I had an ex-girlfriend, who though I did pay for on the first date, told me later in our relationship that she didn't like it and would have rather paid for herself, even though she did consider that a date.

Also, a scrounger like me will often let my male friends pay when we're out, simply because he offered.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-11-19 12:26pm

Despite the fact my first date with Tev was after we had, in fact, first had sex and exchanged the three word phrase, my personal suggestion on date possibilities:

Movie and dinner. Reduces the strain on eating fast, gives you something to talk about during dinner. Yes, there's an actual difference between this and the classic, though it's mostly order of events. Still, the change is signifigant enough to allow for more conversasion afterwards, which can let you both hit it off better.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-11-19 12:39pm

InnerBrat wrote:Don't chew gum. that's gross, too.

Really? Do all the guys you've dated chew like cattle or something? I don't really chew a whole lot of gum (I use Listerine strips), but I've never found anything particularly gross about it, except when the girl is so hot for me that she kisses me with it still in her mouth.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-11-19 12:46pm

Another thing is to remember to ask her about herself. The entire night doesn't have to be the extended version of twenty questions (that extreme isn't good either), but being interested in what she's been doing lately, her interests, education, hobbies, etc. is definitely helpful. Just don't get to the point where you're vaguely stalker-ish.

Seriously, though, f all you do is talk about yourself the whole night, she'll be bored to tears (no matter how interesting your life actually is), and she might feel like you were just looking for an audience instead of a date.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-11-19 12:48pm

wtf's a first date??

oh shit... maybe thats what i've been doing wrong?

Bertie Wooster · Post by **Bertie Wooster** » 2003-11-19 12:50pm

Darth Wong wrote: Mostly good advice, but the advice to keep the conversation superficial and not expose too much personal information is flawed. Superficial conversations lead to superficial relationships, which don't last.

It is true I have not been in a relationship that lasted more than a year, but I'm more comfortable keeping things casual in the beginning, especially on a first date.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think a girl would find it appealing if a guy let the girl know all about him right away.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-11-19 12:50pm

Biggest tip of all:

Don't set it on fire.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-11-19 12:55pm

Bertie Wooster wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Mostly good advice, but the advice to keep the conversation superficial and not expose too much personal information is flawed. Superficial conversations lead to superficial relationships, which don't last.
It is true I have not been in a relationship that lasted more than a year, but I'm more comfortable keeping things casual in the beginning, especially on a first date.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think a girl would find it appealing if a guy let the girl know all about him right away.

Of course you don't want to pour out your entire life story, but I think it's good to reveal something to elevate yourself above the level of "fun to be with, but no depth of personality", particularly if it also elicits her to reveal something about herself as well.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-11-19 12:55pm

Bertie Wooster wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Mostly good advice, but the advice to keep the conversation superficial and not expose too much personal information is flawed. Superficial conversations lead to superficial relationships, which don't last.
It is true I have not been in a relationship that lasted more than a year, but I'm more comfortable keeping things casual in the beginning, especially on a first date.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think a girl would find it appealing if a guy let the girl know all about him right away.

I'd have to agree. You don't have to be shallow, but no couple's going to know each other completely after one date. Part of the initial thrill of a budding relationship is the discovery.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-11-19 12:56pm

Durandal wrote:
Bertie Wooster wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Mostly good advice, but the advice to keep the conversation superficial and not expose too much personal information is flawed. Superficial conversations lead to superficial relationships, which don't last.
It is true I have not been in a relationship that lasted more than a year, but I'm more comfortable keeping things casual in the beginning, especially on a first date.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think a girl would find it appealing if a guy let the girl know all about him right away.
I'd have to agree. You don't have to be shallow, but no couple's going to know each other completely after one date. Part of the initial thrill of a budding relationship is the discovery.

Except that there's no thrill of discovery if you have a policy of not revealing anything about yourself at all. Don't pour out your life story, but don't hide behind an emotional wall either.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-11-19 12:59pm

Basically, guys, it's all about balance. Be yourself, but yourself in moderation. Eventually she'll get a chance to learn all about how you fantasize about sodomizing Christ with various implements of destruction and how you can spend 36 hours at a time playing Quake or StarCraft or whatever (with bathroom breaks, of course). She just doesn't have to learn all that on your first date.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-11-19 01:17pm

Another recomendation for a first date venue: a hockey game. Girls, even girls who don't like sports, for some reason love going to hockey games. Hockey games are good because it's a fast moving game, every score counts, and giant dudes hit each other with sticks. Plus, she'll probably get cold and you can give her your jacket, you gentleman you.

Basketball is hit or miss--some girls are absolutely rabid for the game, and some girls couldn't care less. If you don't like the game, it's pretty dull. However, if your date's idea of dressing down is an Allen Iverson jersey, go for it.

Baseball should definitely be saved for later in the relationship. It's a slow paced game with long breaks at random times. Boring your date to death is a bad idea. And even if she is a baseball fan, the pace of baseball pretty much dictates that you have to keep a three hour conversation going. That's a lot of pressure.

Football is not a date. Ever. Football games are played in the freezing cold, often in the rain or snow, with tens of thousands of drunk rowdy people in the stands. You'll be too busy informing the other team of their collective lack of skill, courage, penis length, breeding, et cetera to have a conversation.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-11-19 01:20pm

Of course, there's always Travis Bickle's approach of going to a porno movie on the first date

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-11-19 01:48pm

Only if both parties are smashed

.

As for Sports...I dunno...hockey is an interesting choice, but usually I try to see if she has some like for it. I know some girls that love Football and wanted that as a first date.

Though for mini activites...they are good, though for Pool...try to find a place wherein it's not a dive(yeah, yeah)...because honestly enough smoke to kill the camel and the smell of liquor clogging the place does not present a good first date.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-11-19 02:00pm

One important tip:

Scout out the location beforehand!

Nothing worse than going to a restaurant only to discover it's full and you should have made reservations, going to a theatre only to discover that there's a lineup and you'll never make the movie, going to a bar only to discover that it's too dingy, getting lost on the way, or otherwise making a fool of yourself.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-11-19 02:08pm

Darth Wong wrote:One important tip:

Scout out the location beforehand!

Nothing worse than going to a restaurant only to discover it's full and you should have made reservations, going to a theatre only to discover that there's a lineup and you'll never make the movie, going to a bar only to discover that it's too dingy, getting lost on the way, or otherwise making a fool of yourself.

A small addendum to this...

Don't get LOST traveling to and from the date

Literally know where you are going with some reasonable assurance(dropping her off is always a challenge but at least know where you are going and not just having been there a couple times).

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-11-19 02:10pm

As said before be yourself, only with good behaviour. If a woman wants a man something completely different to what you are it's not gonna be a good relationship, however all people on dats are trying to show off theor best qualities. Grooming can be the essential thing, look good but don't look to obvious about it, smell nice (i recomend Hugo Boss), have your hair cut a few days before hand, shave if needed.

The 1st date is an invaluable chance to do some re-con. Find out what she likes and what her interests are. This provides a good basis for asking her out on that second date.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-11-19 02:14pm

Good and bad signs your date is going well.

Here's a good sign: A girl letting you go down on her. (True story)

Here's a bad sign: A girl crying on your shoulder because she feels so bad for the people at the bar because they have not found Jesus (Equally true story and NO not the same girl you tards)

Now extremes aside:

Good sign: "You remind me of my dad." "You make me laugh." "Why do I feel like I can tell you these things" All of these have led to long term relationships for me after the first date.

Bad Signs: "I'm waiting for Jesus to send me a good man." "So you wanna know how many tatoos I got?" "So, you're a lawyer huh? How much do you make?"

Once again all true and led to HORRIBLE results.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-11-19 02:19pm

Stravo wrote:Bad Signs: "I'm waiting for Jesus to send me a good man." "So you wanna know how many tatoos I got?" "So, you're a lawyer huh? How much do you make?"

Once again all true and led to HORRIBLE results.

Sorry to laugh at your pain but ... I'm laughing at your pain. Those examples are hilarious.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-11-19 02:20pm

Yeah never talk about money on a 1st date, she'll either pity you or despise you depending on who makes more money, been there, nearly been run over for my trouble.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-11-19 02:22pm

Stravo wrote:Good and bad signs your date is going well.

Here's a bad sign: A girl crying on your shoulder because she feels so bad for the people at the bar because they have not found Jesus (Equally true story and NO not the same girl you tards)

Ouch.

Bad Signs: "I'm waiting for Jesus to send me a good man." "So you wanna know how many tatoos I got?" "So, you're a lawyer huh? How much do you make?"

Once again all true and led to HORRIBLE results.

LOL...the first one honestly takes the cake...never got that one(then again I probably don't attract religous women either)

BoredShirtless · Post by **BoredShirtless** » 2003-11-19 02:25pm

Lord Pounder wrote:Yeah never talk about money on a 1st date, she'll either pity you or despise you

Or she'll fall in love with your money.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-11-19 02:28pm

Stravo wrote:Good sign: "You remind me of my dad."

I got that one recently. She said my voice and my part time involvement in a band reminded her of her father. Unfortunately, her dad had recently left her mom, so it wasn't such a good thing.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-11-19 02:31pm

Darth Servo wrote:
Stravo wrote:Good sign: "You remind me of my dad."
I got that one recently. She said my voice and my part time involvement in a band reminded her of her father. Unfortunately, her dad had recently left her mom, so it wasn't such a good thing.

Ouch. That is bad. Usually the dad thing has been acredited to me many times, and always in a good light. For me it has always been a sign that things are going well.

How about the ladies? I think I've only told one woman in my life that she reminded me of my mom. That lasted a little over two years.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-11-19 02:33pm

Ghost Rider wrote:
Stravo wrote:Bad Signs: "I'm waiting for Jesus to send me a good man." "So you wanna know how many tatoos I got?" "So, you're a lawyer huh? How much do you make?"

Once again all true and led to HORRIBLE results.
LOL...the first one honestly takes the cake...never got that one(then again I probably don't attract religous women either)

I only dated one religious woman in my life and she is the source of the Jesus quotes. She was a very confused sort as she would wear skin tight jeans to our dates and strapless tube top like blouses yet would talk about Jesus as I tried not to stare at her cleavage and great ass.

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Tips on how to act on a first date

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