I've had exams like these:

Alferd Packer · Post by **Alferd Packer** » 2003-11-20 04:44pm

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-11-20 04:47pm

"Describe in four hundred words or less what you would have done to prevent the Great Depression"

That sounds like a real essay test.

What's more, it's actually answerable in 400 words.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-11-20 08:01pm

A lot of those are actually realistic, some are out of this world, and yet others are just hillarious, yet feasable, like this one:

Mechanical Engineering:
The disassembled parts of a howitzer have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Machine Language. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your actions.

That would be fun.

Strate_Egg · Post by **Strate_Egg** » 2003-11-20 08:21pm

It is impossible to discuss the Papacy and every contribution from origin to present in any reasonable amount of time.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-11-20 08:47pm

WHOA!!

Did you realize that all by yourself?

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-20 08:52pm

I think he was cheating, he didn't sign the Honor Code at the bottom of his test.

Strate_Egg · Post by **Strate_Egg** » 2003-11-20 08:54pm

well, it didnt say what time :0 AND he said he had tests like that. It seemed like one of the more "realistic" ones

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-11-20 09:01pm

Metaphysics:
Describe in detail the nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

The best one on there.

Strate_Egg · Post by **Strate_Egg** » 2003-11-20 09:01pm

That one is kinda cute.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-20 09:04pm

My personal fav:

Metaphysics:
Describe in detail the nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-20 09:37pm

Faves:

Music:
Write a full piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a clarinet and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Chemistry:
You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-11-20 09:45pm

Political Science :
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

Short and sweet.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-11-20 11:45pm

Civil Engineering:
This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

Piece of cake, it'll just take a lot of toothpicks and glue. A large press of some sort would help.

Sociology:
Estimate the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Political Science:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

These 2 can be combined. Shouldn't be too hard to do.

Religion:
Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

That hot sexy chick a few seats over from me will have my baby in 9 months.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-11-21 12:16am

I believe these questions are those asked by interviewers for major technology firms. I know for a fact that various companies do indeed ask insanely abstract or impossible questions, looking for people to answer by thinking outside of the box.

David · Post by **David** » 2003-11-21 12:26am

Chemistry:
You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Fuck that.

Haha today I was studying respiration in fish using several chemicals, one of which I was unfamiliar with. Part of the experiment called for adding LOTS of sulfuric acid, and i made the mistake of assuming that the compound I was unfamiliar with was a base that was going to absorb the affects of the acid. The instructions also never said that you had to remove the fish before adding the acid. I assumed ( again unfortunately) that adding the acid would not be a problem since the experiment didn't ask me to remove the fish. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, and I only realized my mistake after another student pointed out that she could see the fish's bones.

Whoops.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-11-21 01:00am

What're the Euler Cauchy equations?

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-11-21 01:27am

I know how to pass the religion and chemistry tests in one fell swoop.

Become a devout Christian.

Mark 16:18, baby!

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-11-21 01:32am

Pre-Med:
You will be provided with a rusty razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a full bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Don't suture until your work as been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

Actually, done something like this.. not on myself of course.. but yep. And I did in the dark, hypoglycemic and no idea what I was doing. Some fun times.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-11-21 03:03am

Xenophobe3691 wrote:What're the Euler Cauchy equations?

According to a sophomore at my college a bunch of bitchy differentials. If it gives you any indication, Euler is the one who created a method approximating values in differential equations.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-11-21 04:08am

At least the extra credit is easy. 42.

Post by **Beowulf** » 2003-11-21 04:18am

Crayz9000 wrote:At least the extra credit is easy. 42.

And the examples?

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-11-21 04:36am

Beowulf wrote:And the examples?

What, do you think I'm stupid enough to give everyone free answers?

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-11-21 11:52am

Crayz9000 wrote:At least the extra credit is easy. 42.

No no no, that's not the answer. The answer is "The universe has one verse." [insert 3 one verse poems or songs]

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-11-21 04:09pm

aerius wrote:
Sociology:
Estimate the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Political Science:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

These 2 can be combined. Shouldn't be too hard to do.

If you'll note, the Sociology one says 'test your theory', that means ending the world.

SWPIGWANG · Post by **SWPIGWANG** » 2003-11-21 04:36pm

Most non physical problems can be done simply by equating the question with an symbolic representation of an generalized answer.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

Easy, I'll just redefined english, and make the hardware "an hominid self-aware educated neuro-network" with the instructions "finish the exam."

Biology:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this life form had developed 500,000 years earlier, with special attention to the probable effect, if any, on the English parliamentary system circa 1750. Prove your thesis.

Take a sample from the tongue and add it to some rubbed skin tissue. (it didn't say from nothing) Prove that it'd have no effect despite chaos. Done.

Civil Engineering:
This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

Actually doable, given sufficiently strong glue, sufficient amount of material and sufficiently short span with sufficient time.

Mathematics:
Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.

1. The question is invalid, as the equation is not derived but created. If might make sense if given a differential system, however.
2. It wouldn't be hard to solve the equation with any writing tool (which an straight edge can be used to scrach the paper), but I FORGOT ABOUT THE WHOLE BLOODY THING IN MY APPLIED MATH COURSE ARRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG and was stuck on my midterm.

(cries)
3. The second part is doable to a nerdy enough person.

Religion:
Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

Prove that my own existence at this exam is one, and thus deserve full marks. (not hard with enough philosophical handwaving)

Art:
Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

Define perspective as infinitely far away, or one atom close, or from a temporal dimension before 1475 (It is a 4D object afterall) or from the view of an cat or hypothetical alien on drugs.

Physics:
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an in-depth evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Energy....nuff said (or something trivial and true) (details are too much for today)

Metaphysics:
Describe in detail the nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

Write that the nature of life after death is nonintersection with the living, and perfect marks on the exam, and kill the examer.

Extra Credit:
Define the universe, and give three examples.

stuff, examples, 42, everything, nothing

Philosophy:
Sketch the development of human thought and estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

Easy, just write human thought as normal, and quote darkstar afterwards as comparison.

Alternatively, apply mysticism after showing the system based nature (rather than intrinsic) of thought, than use the definition on a rock or computer (if you are conventional).

General Knowledge:
Describe in detail. Be specific.

Guildline: there is no truth, only cross references
In other words, everything can be described in detail via this method.

Experience at literary deconstruction would help.

Public Speaking:
Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin, Hebrew, or Greek.

And do and say nothing ofter than hide, as nothing is required.

Psychology:....etc

It is not necessary to translate.

Define custom language.

Chemistry:
You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Inject the professor with poison, and wait.