most insulting/hilarious Lucas betrayal?
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most insulting/hilarious Lucas betrayal?
An extremely witty post I made got me thinking. Let's say that George Lucas got hooked on crack, or had a worse hair day than usual, or got a really good blowjob from a Trekkie, and decided to make a Trek vs. Wars movie where Wars gets owned for bullshit reasons. I mean really horribly, like in Graham Kennedy's fanfic where 200 Starships frag 30,000 ISDs. And it's canon. What method of the Empire's demise would most infuriate you? I mean a plot that would lead to a scene of you smoking a cigarette and holding a gas can while Skywalker Ranch burned in the background. Possible Trek wanking that amuses me:
- the Death Star fires on a Runabout. The beam bounces off its navigational deflector and frags the Death Star.
- Vader reaches out to force-choke a Feddie and feels nothing.
- Troi force-chokes Vader.
- Janeway remodulates the phased harmonic pulse transducer and makes all of the ISDs drop their shields.
- the ISDs arrive by hyperspace, which is...warp six!
- the Feds board an ISD and frag Stormtroopers with TNG hand phasers, while hiding behind packing crates. Pissed off yet?
- the E-E flies through a hail of turbolaser fire unscathed while its quantorps obliterate five or six ISDs per shot.
- photorps beamed into ISD reactor cores. Through shields.
- the Federation seems doomed, but uses the Defiant, uncloaked and hiding behind an ISD's bridge tower, to beam an astromech droid off an Imperial ship. For no reason at all, it has schematics for an ISD and Data can hack into it. With his tricorder. Three weeks later, the Feds have mastered Imperial tech and have their own prototype Super Duper Star Destroyer ready for battle.
- Vader gets into a fight with Crusher, who parries the lightsabre with a Fed laser scalpel.
- Vader gets into a fight with the Holodoc, who catches the blade in his hand and yanks it from Vader's grasp. He then subdues Vader with a hypospray of sedative. Through his armor.
- Data gets hit by an E-Web and it only singes his clothes.
- Worf uses the isomagnetic disintegrator against a seeker droid, breaking it in half. He then turns to an AT-AT and frags its whole front end without any apparent adjustment to the disintegrator.
- Lots and lots of goldshirts, all played by Trekkies, cheering as Imperials burn in space.
- Riker misses a stormtrooper from six feet with a phaser rifle, and later shoots a high ranking Imperial officer in the head at a thousand yards with a hand phaser. At night.
lmao, I love the possibilities.
And just for Darth Wong:
- a strormtrooper is hit by a phaser blast that lifts him clean off his feet and tosses him back ten metres. No recoil.
- the Death Star fires on a Runabout. The beam bounces off its navigational deflector and frags the Death Star.
- Vader reaches out to force-choke a Feddie and feels nothing.
- Troi force-chokes Vader.
- Janeway remodulates the phased harmonic pulse transducer and makes all of the ISDs drop their shields.
- the ISDs arrive by hyperspace, which is...warp six!
- the Feds board an ISD and frag Stormtroopers with TNG hand phasers, while hiding behind packing crates. Pissed off yet?
- the E-E flies through a hail of turbolaser fire unscathed while its quantorps obliterate five or six ISDs per shot.
- photorps beamed into ISD reactor cores. Through shields.
- the Federation seems doomed, but uses the Defiant, uncloaked and hiding behind an ISD's bridge tower, to beam an astromech droid off an Imperial ship. For no reason at all, it has schematics for an ISD and Data can hack into it. With his tricorder. Three weeks later, the Feds have mastered Imperial tech and have their own prototype Super Duper Star Destroyer ready for battle.
- Vader gets into a fight with Crusher, who parries the lightsabre with a Fed laser scalpel.
- Vader gets into a fight with the Holodoc, who catches the blade in his hand and yanks it from Vader's grasp. He then subdues Vader with a hypospray of sedative. Through his armor.
- Data gets hit by an E-Web and it only singes his clothes.
- Worf uses the isomagnetic disintegrator against a seeker droid, breaking it in half. He then turns to an AT-AT and frags its whole front end without any apparent adjustment to the disintegrator.
- Lots and lots of goldshirts, all played by Trekkies, cheering as Imperials burn in space.
- Riker misses a stormtrooper from six feet with a phaser rifle, and later shoots a high ranking Imperial officer in the head at a thousand yards with a hand phaser. At night.
lmao, I love the possibilities.
And just for Darth Wong:
- a strormtrooper is hit by a phaser blast that lifts him clean off his feet and tosses him back ten metres. No recoil.
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- Janeway gets angry and destroys the Imp fleet by using the deflector dish and Seven of Nine.
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That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
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That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
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"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
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And it's her anger that makes the difference. Several ships faster and more powerful than Voyager get fragged, then Janeway gets angry and suddenly the Intrepid has character shields.Gandalf wrote:- Janeway gets angry and destroys the Imp fleet by using the deflector dish and Seven of Nine.
<---Warsies
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Another one:
Kirk decides to beam himself to the Executor's bridge and challenge Vader to a one on one fight. Kirk wins, and for some reason the Empire retreats.
Kirk decides to beam himself to the Executor's bridge and challenge Vader to a one on one fight. Kirk wins, and for some reason the Empire retreats.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
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This is actually a given. The ability to telekinetically choke people is insignificant next to the power of Shirtlessness.Gandalf wrote:Kirk wins, and for some reason the Empire retreats. :lol:
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The "witty post" I'm referring to is from the "What Would an Imperial Officer Say?" thread, fucker. Now because you can't make me as pissed off as you are, you're going to tell me I can't JOKE about Fed capabilities or Trek writing? Up yours.Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Notice now a case of sore losing attempting to disquise itself with humour...
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Ahh, but who says that Vader needs to rip Kirk's shirt in order to force choke him?Kuroneko wrote:This is actually a given. The ability to telekinetically choke people is insignificant next to the power of Shirtlessness.Gandalf wrote:Kirk wins, and for some reason the Empire retreats.
It is a common mistake, and I can see why you made it, but now that it is done, it's all good and we can resume with our regular braodcasting.
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Ah, but "Kirk-mojo" can overcome anything threatening regular cast members. He'll divert the force choke to some redshirts.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
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Gandalf wrote:Ah, but "Kirk-mojo" can overcome anything threatening regular cast members. He'll divert the force choke to some redshirts.
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You think Kirk needs a reason to lose his shirt?Crown wrote:Ahh, but who says that Vader needs to rip Kirk's shirt in order to force choke him?Kuroneko wrote:This is actually a given. The ability to telekinetically choke people is insignificant next to the power of Shirtlessness.Gandalf wrote:Kirk wins, and for some reason the Empire retreats.
It is a common mistake, and I can see why you made it, but now that it is done, it's all good and we can resume with our regular braodcasting.
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that's Kirk-fuGandalf wrote:Ah, but "Kirk-mojo" can overcome anything threatening regular cast members. He'll divert the force choke to some redshirts.
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"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. ... If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. ... If, as they say, God can abolish evil, and God really wants to do it, why is there evil in the world?" -Epicurus
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What you fail to realize, is that Kirk still has his shirt on in that picture. Its only a matter of seconds before Vader accidently rips the shirt with the Force. Then it gets intersing!Lord of the Farce wrote:*Pic snip*Gandalf wrote:Ah, but "Kirk-mojo" can overcome anything threatening regular cast members. He'll divert the force choke to some redshirts.
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Spanky, I don't know what history is coloring your actions here, but for the sake of the other board members, keep it out of a humor thread. If you must take some twisted revenge, do it somewhere else.
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If worse comes to worse, there can be a "Crouching Kirk, Hidden Spock" thing happening. Torn shirts + Vulcan logic = A deadly combo.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
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Your forgetting that Daala and Leia would both have to give into his manly charms....Gandalf wrote:Another one:
Kirk decides to beam himself to the Executor's bridge and challenge Vader to a one on one fight. Kirk wins, and for some reason the Empire retreats.
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