Oh fuck if this is true...

[MKSheppard]

Oh fucking shit

GROUND FARCE 1


Nov 23 2003
Queen's fury as Bush goons wreck garden
Exclusive By Terry O'Hanlon

THE Queen is furious with President George W. Bush after his state visit caused thousands of pounds of damage to her gardens at Buckingham Palace.

Royal officials are now in touch with the Queen's insurers and Prime Minister Tony Blair to find out who will pick up the massive repair bill. Palace staff said they had never seen the Queen so angry as when she saw how her perfectly-mantained lawns had been churned up after being turned into helipads with three giant H landing markings for the Bush visit.

The rotors of the President's Marine Force One helicopter and two support Black Hawks damaged trees and shrubs that had survived since Queen Victoria's reign.

And Bush's army of clod-hopping security service men trampled more precious and exotic plants.

The Queen's own flock of flamingoes, which security staff insisted should be moved in case they flew into the helicopter rotors, are thought to be so traumatised after being taken to a "place of safety" that they might never return home.

The historic fabric of the Palace was also damaged as high-tech links were fitted for the US leader and his entourage during his three-day stay with the Queen.

The Palace's head gardener, Mark Lane, was reported to be in tears when he saw the scale of the damage.

"The Queen has every right to feel insulted at the way she has been treated by Bush," said a Palace insider.

"The repairs will cost tens of thousands of pounds but the damage to historic and rare plants will be immense. They are still taking an inventory.

"The lawns are used for royal garden parties and are beautifully kept. But 30,000 visitors did not do as much damage as the Americans did in three days.

"Their security people and support staff tramped all over the place and left an absolute mess. It is particularly sad because the Queen Mother loved to wander in the garden just as the Queen and Prince Charles do now.

"Some of the roses, flowers and shrubs damaged are thought to be rare varieties named after members of the Royal Family and planted by the Queen Mother and Queen.

"Other Royals had their own favourite parts of the garden as children and some of those areas have been damaged."

The Queen's insurers have told her she is covered for statues, garden furniture and plants she personally owns, but the bill for repairing damage to the lawns and the structure of the Palace will probably have to be picked up by the Government.

The Americans made alterations to accommodate specialised equipment. The mass of gadgetry meant the Royals couldn't get a decent TV picture during the visit.

[El Moose Monstero]

I expect we'll hear more about it in the next few days when the 'we won the rugby world cup' fever has died down and the media gets back to reporting the news.

[fgalkin]

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[MKSheppard]

I expect we'll hear more about it in the next few days when the 'we won the rugby world cup' fever has died down and the media gets back to reporting the news.

Oh yeah...

IN YOUR FACE, WEEMADANDO!

*cackles insanely*

[Joe]

So the flamingoes are stressed out, then?

Seriously, what the fuck were they thinking? What kind of moron looks at a garden and thinks "Looks like a great place for a helicopter to land!". We should at least pick up the bill.

If this is true, of course.

[Sea Skimmer]

Well whoever chose the landing zone wasn't think, though I'm more then a bit surprised the place doesn't have a helicopter pad in the first place.

[Xenophobe3691]

Well, here's hoping American Arrogance (TM) gives way to smart thinking and pays for it...

Then again, knowing the Bush Administration and the behavior that got them into this mess in the first place...

[Stofsk]

That article was hilarious.

The Queen's own flock of flamingoes, which security staff insisted should be moved in case they flew into the helicopter rotors, are thought to be so traumatised after being taken to a "place of safety" that they might never return home.

Seriously though, is this article genuine? I don't know for sure, but I would just assume a place like Buckingham palace would have a helipad on the roof or another dedicated area. Surely they would?

[El Moose Monstero]

Yes, that bit did surprise me, but then, no other foreign dignataries of any other nation who've come a visiting have had their own helicopters do the taxi service, I believe, guess there just hasnt been the need on the off chance that the US comes to tea.

What did Clinton do on his last visit? I did a quick search, but found no reference to how he arrived, it said he had tea with the queen, but considering in the same breath it also said that him and his wife had strolled round Hyde Park (or one of them), it sounds as if he took a bullet proof limo or something.

[Nathan F]

That article was hilarious.

The Queen's own flock of flamingoes, which security staff insisted should be moved in case they flew into the helicopter rotors, are thought to be so traumatised after being taken to a "place of safety" that they might never return home.

Seriously though, is this article genuine? I don't know for sure, but I would just assume a place like Buckingham palace would have a helipad on the roof or another dedicated area. Surely they would?

I cannot keep from thinkign about yard flamingos now... THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND IS A REDNECK!!!!

[Companion Cube]

I cannot keep from thinkign about yard flamingos now... THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND IS A REDNECK!!!!

Ssshh! Not so loud...

[The Kernel]

Well if they didn't want the helicopters landing there then why the hell did they let them? I mean, Bush didn't just show up with Marine One and Blackhawk escort and knock on the Queen's front door saying "fancy a cup of tea?". This was planned and the fact that the Queen's staff didn't see the problem with the president's entorage tearing up the place (it's not like they don't know how the Secret Service carries out security) then maybe they should have said something.

I say fine, pay them for the repairs, but all this "Americans caused more damage in three days than 30,000 visitors!" is just a bunch of crap. They need to cut out this holier than thou shit considering how much more important US/UK relations are then the Queen's fucking garden.

[NecronLord]

Here's a mad idea, why don't we take some of that massive garden in the back of the palace and learn from the mistake, and put in a great honkin helipad!

[Setzer]

How about the Brits finally dump the royal family like the useless appendage they are?

[Ace Pace]

How about the Brits finally dump the royal family like the useless appendage they are?

How about you recognize, that up to Prince charles, British people LIKED the Royal family as a symbol, and as something unique in their country?

[Admiral Valdemar]

How about the Brits finally dump the royal family like the useless appendage they are?

How about you recognize, that up to Prince charles, British people LIKED the Royal family as a symbol, and as something unique in their country?

And let's not forget the amount of cash they get for us and tourism and the fact that having Royal infront of airforce and navy is far better than British.

I always assumed the Royal Flight choppers like Charles' Wessex were able to land in the forecourt or had a special pad anyway. But then there's no need to land a chopped there anyway unless in an emergency.

[Ace Pace]

I imagine from Bush's POV, anywhere he goes, he brings emergencies, with Iraq and all

[TheDarkling]

How about the Brits finally dump the royal family like the useless appendage they are?

And replace them with what?
I certainly don't want head of state and head of government combined in one and if we had purely ceremonial head of state but they were elected we would end up with David Beckham or some such idiot, no thanks I prefer the inbred Germans.

[Vendetta]

The royal family keep the tabloids in business...

This is as good an excuse for getting rid of them as I can think of...

Seriously though, is this article genuine? I don't know for sure, but I would just assume a place like Buckingham palace would have a helipad on the roof or another dedicated area. Surely they would?

Becuase everyone put helipads on the roof in 1702?

[Glocksman]

Becuase everyone put helipads on the roof in 1702?

They haven't performed any renovations to the Palace since it was built?

I knew you Brits were backwards, but I thought at least you had electricity and hot running water in the Queen's house.

[General Zod]

well, this gives the bush bashers alot more material to use. i can just imagine what leno's going to be doing with it. . . .

[Vendetta]

Becuase everyone put helipads on the roof in 1702?

They haven't performed any renovations to the Palace since it was built?

Not the kind of major structural work required to land sodding great Blackhawks on the roof...

Y'see, we have old buildings in this country, the kind that are older than some of your countries (notably, in my home town, we have some of the oldest pubs in he entire world).

[Admiral Valdemar]

Becuase everyone put helipads on the roof in 1702?

They haven't performed any renovations to the Palace since it was built?

Not the kind of major structural work required to land sodding great Blackhawks on the roof...

Y'see, we have old buildings in this country, the kind that are older than some of your countries (notably, in my home town, we have some of the oldest pubs in he entire world).

If you're going to pull the "My local pub is older than your nation" line, I'll have to charge you royalties.

[HemlockGrey]

How expensive could a garden possibly be? One million? Two million?

[Sea Skimmer]

How expensive could a garden possibly be? One million? Two million?

A lot more then that, take Longwood Gardens for example. Simply its yearly budget is over 40 million dollars, and it cost millions to build in the early 20th century. Though its also considerably more elaborate and larger then what the queen has.