The Colonel's 2nd annual shitty Christmas music thread!

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-12-02 01:19pm

It's that time of year again folks. Radio stations are switching to the all holiday music all the time format. The airwaves are saturated with crap! A few good songs are played, but most is crap. Well, it is now up to you to choose the worst of them all!

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-12-02 01:21pm

The airwaves are always saturated with crap, it's called modern music, apparently.

I don't think any Christmas is right without Noddy Holder and Slade singing Merry Christmas or Do They Know It's Christmas Time?

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-12-02 01:29pm

That bloody awful one sung by the irish dudes. It's just not Christmas, Old Chap.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-12-02 01:41pm

I nearly voted "other", because "Santa Baby" makes me want to puncture my own eardrums so I don't have to listen to it, but for sheer idiocy and offensiveness, "Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey" takes it. How any Philadelphia radio station gets away with playing that song without being firebombed by one of the roughly 2 million Italians who live in the Philadelphia metro area is beyond me.

CDiehl · Post by **CDiehl** » 2003-12-02 01:47pm

I voted for the song about Dominic the Donkey. I heard that POS song last year on Christmas Eve, but I was alone in my room at the time. I didn't tell anyone about it because I'm sure they'd think I was on drugs.

As for stations playing Christmas songs all day and night, there's a station where I live that's been doing that since about a week after Halloween. Now, I don't mind radio station throwing Christmas songs into the mix starting around Thanksgiving, but to do it 24/7 is excessive, and to start a month and a half before Christmas is insane.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-12-02 01:57pm

I'm voting for Fairy Tale of New York, or what ever you call that shit the Progues sang, and i use that term lightly. I really fucking hate that song, it's been playing in every shop in town for a month.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-12-02 01:58pm

Lord Pounder wrote:I'm voting for Fairy Tale of New York, or what ever you call that shit the Progues sang, and i use that term lightly. I really fucking hate that song, it's been playing in every shop in town for a month.

That's the one I meant... I despise that song.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-12-02 02:38pm

I spare my eardrums the torture and don't listen to such radio stations this time of year, but I've heard "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and I'm sure I'd go crazy after listening to that a few dozen times.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-12-02 05:53pm

Chipmunks, definitely chipmunks.

My favorite? Why, Weird Al's song The Night Santa Went Crazy, of course.

Crazy Goji · Post by **Crazy Goji** » 2003-12-02 05:57pm

Dalton wrote:Chipmunks, definitely chipmunks.

My favorite? Why, Weird Al's song The Night Santa Went Crazy, of course.

I personally prefer the "Extra Gory Version" myself.

Hard decision since I've never heard any of those songs. But I might just as well do that Grandma one after seeing the craptactular cartoon slightly based off of it.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-12-02 05:59pm

Christmas at Ground Zero was wierd Al's Christmas masterpiece. I voted Feliz Navidad. Because when I was younger, my Mom thought the holidays started on July 5th. and her ida of cultured was the fact that that song had a line in it that was spanish. Yay. I hate that freaking overplayed piece of crap.

By the way. I've not heard of this christmas donkey thing....double-yoo-tee-eff, mate?

Crazy Goji · Post by **Crazy Goji** » 2003-12-02 06:02pm

Chardok wrote:Christmas at Ground Zero was wierd Al's Christmas masterpiece. I voted Feliz Navidad. Because when I was younger, my Mom thought the holidays started on July 5th. and her ida of cultured was the fact that that song had a line in it that was spanish. Yay. I hate that freaking overplayed piece of crap.

By the way. I've not heard of this christmas donkey thing....double-yoo-tee-eff, mate?

Crap, almost forgot about "Christmas at Ground Zero." That was always a classic.

So, yeah, Feliz Navida gets my vote because now I have that shit stuck in my head.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-12-02 06:04pm

christmas at ground zero??

i don't know that one.

Crazy Goji · Post by **Crazy Goji** » 2003-12-02 06:06pm

Christmas at Ground Zero wrote:It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin'
While the air raid sirens blare

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny

Well, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath a mushroom cloud

(siren)

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see the all new
Mutations on New Year's Day

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

(siren)

There you go, buddy.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-12-02 06:11pm

wow. thats pretty shitty.

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-12-02 06:11pm

No Can deletey.

So I am posting this spam instead. I basically duplicated goji's post....my bad. Mod feel free to zap this.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-12-02 09:52pm

I've never heard Dominic the Donkey... From what you're comparing it to, I don't want to.

Now, I have very fun memories of Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. Very wonderful memories of a high-school dance where one of the guys grabbed a friend of mine and started squaredancing to it.

And everyone joined in!

As for Santa Baby... well... Ask SirNitram about my version of it....

~Santa baby, hurry down the chimney .... toooooo-nite!~

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-12-02 10:58pm

Either Feliz Navidad or something by Celine Dion.

And Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer kicks major arse!

Damaramu · Post by **Damaramu** » 2003-12-02 11:00pm

SIMPLY.HAVING.A.WONDERFUL.CHRISTMAS.TIME.

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2003-12-03 12:27am

Christmas music list of shame:

Mariah Carey singing Joy to the World
Macarena (Christmas remix)
Jingle Bell Rock
Cheesy elevator music versions of Jingle Bells
Any non-obscene version of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Frosty the Snowman
Any other songs about Santa, snow, holly etc when played in Brisbane (Australia) where it is f*cking 40°C outside and there are people fainting from heat exhaustion.

I currently work in a cafe that plays apallingly bad music at the best of times. At Christmas, it is all I can do to prevent myself from hurling myself out the nearest window a la Alex in Clockwork Orange

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-12-03 12:30am

Feliz Navidad. I absolutely DESPISE that damned song!

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-12-03 12:43am

Feliz Navidad is Goddamn "Piano Man" next to Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey. The whole song is sung in a fake Italian accent and the fucking chorus is a fucking donkey braying.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-12-03 07:26am

RedImperator wrote:Feliz Navidad is Goddamn "Piano Man" next to Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey. The whole song is sung in a fake Italian accent and the fucking chorus is a fucking donkey braying.

Jiggity-jig! eeee-owwhh! eeee-owwhh!
It's dominic the donkey!
Jiggity-jig! eeee-owwhh! eeee-owwhh!
the Italian christmas donkey

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2003-12-03 11:45pm

Dalton wrote:Chipmunks, definitely chipmunks.

My favorite? Why, Weird Al's song The Night Santa Went Crazy, of course.

Most hated: Blue Christmas by Porky Pig
Favourite: Christmas at Ground Zero by Weird Al

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-12-04 12:20am

Col. Crackpot wrote:
RedImperator wrote:Feliz Navidad is Goddamn "Piano Man" next to Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey. The whole song is sung in a fake Italian accent and the fucking chorus is a fucking donkey braying.
Jiggity-jig! eeee-owwhh! eeee-owwhh!
It's dominic the donkey!
Jiggity-jig! eeee-owwhh! eeee-owwhh!
the Italian christmas donkey

I hope Tom Brady breaks his leg, you son of a bitch.

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The Colonel's 2nd annual shitty Christmas music thread!

What is the worst Christmas song ever?

The Colonel's 2nd annual shitty Christmas music thread!