Lessons learnt from computer games
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Lessons learnt from computer games
Deus Ex has taught me:
That trained military personal will take cover behind crates clearly marked "TNT".
That it's important to make sure your Super Legs are turned on BEFORE jumping off a five-story building.
That you can drink as much as you like, and be sober within five minutes. (Admittedly, this may be because of an agumented stomach.)
Feel free to add on, making a note of what game you are talking about.
That trained military personal will take cover behind crates clearly marked "TNT".
That it's important to make sure your Super Legs are turned on BEFORE jumping off a five-story building.
That you can drink as much as you like, and be sober within five minutes. (Admittedly, this may be because of an agumented stomach.)
Feel free to add on, making a note of what game you are talking about.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
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That throwing my balls at an animal in the wild will result in it becoming my servant - Pokemon.
![Image](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/moosemonster/moosesig1.jpg)
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Any enemy you jump on will die as a result, but sometimes they take two or three jumps before you kill them.
eating mushrooms can make you either more powerful or even give you an extra life if you happen to die. watch out for the poisonous ones though.
bodies fade away after you kill someone.
you can grab a feather, wear a cape and fly as a result.
everyone with a gun is a bad guy. therefore it's okay to shoot them, and you get rewarded for it. in contrast everyone without a gun is a good guy. while no real harm will result from shooting them, you do get points deducted.
violent crime happens daily and it's okay to go out there as a vigilante for justice beating up everyone that looks bad. you won't get arrested for it.
that creepy old guy living in the mansion next door really being mind controlled by an alien meteorite.
you can safely eat any food you happen to find lying along the street.
you don't have to worry about getting shot or blown apart. you'll respawn somewhere else in a few minutes.
eating mushrooms can make you either more powerful or even give you an extra life if you happen to die. watch out for the poisonous ones though.
bodies fade away after you kill someone.
you can grab a feather, wear a cape and fly as a result.
everyone with a gun is a bad guy. therefore it's okay to shoot them, and you get rewarded for it. in contrast everyone without a gun is a good guy. while no real harm will result from shooting them, you do get points deducted.
violent crime happens daily and it's okay to go out there as a vigilante for justice beating up everyone that looks bad. you won't get arrested for it.
that creepy old guy living in the mansion next door really being mind controlled by an alien meteorite.
you can safely eat any food you happen to find lying along the street.
you don't have to worry about getting shot or blown apart. you'll respawn somewhere else in a few minutes.
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
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Camo net is not only bulletproof, but it will even stop rounds fired by the 8.8cm main gun of WWII German Tiger tank. - BF1942
Inconspicuously flimsy looking board fences cannot be destroyed by ramming them with a heavy tank, infact the fence will not only stop the tank, but it will also inflict considerable damage to it. - BF1942
Injuries, no matter how severe, will not slow a soldier down one bit. - BF1942 and a whole host of other FPSs.
Semi-automatic handguns are more powerfull (per shot), more accurate and posses greater range then assault rifles. - Halo PC
Inconspicuously flimsy looking board fences cannot be destroyed by ramming them with a heavy tank, infact the fence will not only stop the tank, but it will also inflict considerable damage to it. - BF1942
Injuries, no matter how severe, will not slow a soldier down one bit. - BF1942 and a whole host of other FPSs.
Semi-automatic handguns are more powerfull (per shot), more accurate and posses greater range then assault rifles. - Halo PC
![Image](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v471/SirSirius/SiriusDemoSig.jpg)
No matter how much the authorities want to see your dead, mangled corpse, after your drive your battered and shot-up car into a respray shop and leave five seconds later, they will never recognize you...even if you leave the car right afterwards with a big ass rifle in your hands and wave it in front of a squad car.
No matter how many policemen, detectives, FBI agents or soldiers you've killed, after you get arrested they will always release you after taking away your guns.
You can easily survive a 200 kmph crash with a bridge support, and loose no more than a bumper.
Shooting RPGs and 7.62 machine guns at random buildings is too small a matter for the police to trouble themselves.
On the other hand, if the same bullets hit and blow up a single car, they will do their best to hunt you down.
You can have half the National Guard on your ass, as soon as you finish a job some mobster's given you, they'll let you off the hook.
You can change clothes right in front of a policeman who's chasing you, he won't recognize you afterwards.
And many, many more. Guess what game they're from![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
No matter how many policemen, detectives, FBI agents or soldiers you've killed, after you get arrested they will always release you after taking away your guns.
You can easily survive a 200 kmph crash with a bridge support, and loose no more than a bumper.
Shooting RPGs and 7.62 machine guns at random buildings is too small a matter for the police to trouble themselves.
On the other hand, if the same bullets hit and blow up a single car, they will do their best to hunt you down.
You can have half the National Guard on your ass, as soon as you finish a job some mobster's given you, they'll let you off the hook.
You can change clothes right in front of a policeman who's chasing you, he won't recognize you afterwards.
And many, many more. Guess what game they're from
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
(Counter-strike)
Guys jumping around all the time can cap off a head shot.
A machine gun <<<<Ak-47.
Grenades = worthless.
Fragging your sarge and hearing him moan out your name in a voice that laments how he could be fragged by his worst recruit?=priceless![Twisted Evil :twisted:](./images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif)
(World Combat, an arcade game)
The officer dies last, the medic dies first, signallers are timid, commandoes are crazy and the MG trained can't aim worth a damn.
Ammo is free.
(Arcade shooters)
Markmens in real life will miss, teenage boppers punks will duke it out to the last stage on one token, achieving a head shot with every kill.
Guys jumping around all the time can cap off a head shot.
A machine gun <<<<Ak-47.
Grenades = worthless.
Fragging your sarge and hearing him moan out your name in a voice that laments how he could be fragged by his worst recruit?=priceless
![Twisted Evil :twisted:](./images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif)
(World Combat, an arcade game)
The officer dies last, the medic dies first, signallers are timid, commandoes are crazy and the MG trained can't aim worth a damn.
Ammo is free.
(Arcade shooters)
Markmens in real life will miss, teenage boppers punks will duke it out to the last stage on one token, achieving a head shot with every kill.
Last edited by PainRack on 2003-12-08 12:07pm, edited 1 time in total.
Let him land on any Lyran world to taste firsthand the wrath of peace loving people thwarted by the myopic greed of a few miserly old farts- Katrina Steiner
One Person can drive a entire Destroyer-BF1942
Gernades are acutaly super-balls and as such can bounch 5-10 meters in the air if you throw them at your feet-BF-1942
If you can see it, You can Rail it-Quake Series
No matter how many chances you have to defeat X uberbeast, it will always be the very last one before you can acutaly pull it off-To many games to count
And up and coming
Thanks to inviations in plastics, most Vietnam Era Tanks can be transported VIA Helicopter-BF Vietnam
Gernades are acutaly super-balls and as such can bounch 5-10 meters in the air if you throw them at your feet-BF-1942
If you can see it, You can Rail it-Quake Series
No matter how many chances you have to defeat X uberbeast, it will always be the very last one before you can acutaly pull it off-To many games to count
And up and coming
Thanks to inviations in plastics, most Vietnam Era Tanks can be transported VIA Helicopter-BF Vietnam
"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
Close combat
An anti-tank gun can be housed in a building and has a free tranverse of fire.
In reference to above gun, the gun now becomes invulnerable to enemy tank fire, but dies when a machine gun blows it up.
Machine gunners can kill 10 tanks, and 340 infantry by the end of the campaign.
Your men will not hesitate to use panzerfaust against enemy infantry.
Your sniper loses all accuracy once the enemy closes to 100 meters.
Artillery is worthless, except when its on the enemy side.
Panzershreck are more effective against infantry than they are against tanks.
An anti-tank gun can be housed in a building and has a free tranverse of fire.
In reference to above gun, the gun now becomes invulnerable to enemy tank fire, but dies when a machine gun blows it up.
Machine gunners can kill 10 tanks, and 340 infantry by the end of the campaign.
Your men will not hesitate to use panzerfaust against enemy infantry.
Your sniper loses all accuracy once the enemy closes to 100 meters.
Artillery is worthless, except when its on the enemy side.
Panzershreck are more effective against infantry than they are against tanks.
Let him land on any Lyran world to taste firsthand the wrath of peace loving people thwarted by the myopic greed of a few miserly old farts- Katrina Steiner
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Life is measured in percentages. -fps'
Death isn't the end - fps'
Only people are killed when nukes go off, everything else remains the same. -Crossfire level on halflife
Killing scientists is actually immense fun - halflife
People in gunfights look constipated - max payne
Hiding for a number of minutes absolves you from any responsibility - GTA and Postal 2
I can and will fight off the police force, FBI and Army, given sufficient weaponry and spinning police bribes - GTA
Painkillers hold life within - Max Payne
Death isn't the end - fps'
Only people are killed when nukes go off, everything else remains the same. -Crossfire level on halflife
Killing scientists is actually immense fun - halflife
People in gunfights look constipated - max payne
Hiding for a number of minutes absolves you from any responsibility - GTA and Postal 2
I can and will fight off the police force, FBI and Army, given sufficient weaponry and spinning police bribes - GTA
Painkillers hold life within - Max Payne
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Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
- GrandMasterTerwynn
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(Flight simulators.)
You don't need any sort of instruction whatsoever in order to fly any sort of aircraft ever built. And even if you do crash, you'll conveniently respawn at the closest airport in order to demolish the scenery in your next spectacularly fiery wreck.
(Combat flight simulators.)
After realizing that any idiot can pilot an aircraft, it becomes trivially easy to shoot down enemy aircraft. Furthermore, all aircraft piloted by the player come better armored than most tanks, or combat warships, for that matter. On the other hand, aircraft piloted by the enemy tend to be made out of balsa wood and tissue paper. This means that you could win entire air wars singlehandedly.
You don't need any sort of instruction whatsoever in order to fly any sort of aircraft ever built. And even if you do crash, you'll conveniently respawn at the closest airport in order to demolish the scenery in your next spectacularly fiery wreck.
(Combat flight simulators.)
After realizing that any idiot can pilot an aircraft, it becomes trivially easy to shoot down enemy aircraft. Furthermore, all aircraft piloted by the player come better armored than most tanks, or combat warships, for that matter. On the other hand, aircraft piloted by the enemy tend to be made out of balsa wood and tissue paper. This means that you could win entire air wars singlehandedly.
Tales of the Known Worlds:
2070s - The Seventy-Niners ... 3500s - Fair as Death ... 4900s - Against Improbable Odds V 1.0
2070s - The Seventy-Niners ... 3500s - Fair as Death ... 4900s - Against Improbable Odds V 1.0
Man, this is so true. I demolished the entire Korean Airforce in Fighting Falcon, in one day.GrandMasterTerwynn wrote: (Combat flight simulators.)
After realizing that any idiot can pilot an aircraft, it becomes trivially easy to shoot down enemy aircraft. Furthermore, all aircraft piloted by the player come better armored than most tanks, or combat warships, for that matter. On the other hand, aircraft piloted by the enemy tend to be made out of balsa wood and tissue paper. This means that you could win entire air wars singlehandedly.
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
That was quite a bad move, cause it caused the Chinese airforce to intervene, just as all of the USAF squadrons were running out of aircraft and ammunition.
Let him land on any Lyran world to taste firsthand the wrath of peace loving people thwarted by the myopic greed of a few miserly old farts- Katrina Steiner
This is actually true. You can imagine how sucky it'd be to get nailed by a Panzershreck in the chest.PainRack wrote:Panzershreck are more effective against infantry than they are against tanks.
Hitting a person is a one-in-a-million event, but man, when you DO hit them!
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That is historically factual. There were far too many Panzerfausts too go around and way too few tanks. Some intrepid soldiers strung barbed wires around the shells to produce more shrapnel.PainRack wrote:Your men will not hesitate to use panzerfaust against enemy infantry.
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
A Jedi Guardian can *miss* hitting a door you're trying to bash open- Knights of the Old Republic (fuck what a mad game, I've been playing it obsessively since I got it last week, but the above PISSES ME OFF).
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
There's always one evil genius/rich man behind it all - Too many games to count
You are actaully immune to the T-Virus, it's just everyone else who has the problem - Resident Evil series...duh
Weapons spin when they're left on the floor - Timesplitters
Getting hit by trains/golfcarts/cars and/or falling great heights will not stop you, but the clock will - Tony Hawks Skater games, Matt Hoffman Biking gmaes
Wrestling isn't fake - all WWE/WWF/ECW/WCW games
Foxes don't eat hedgehogs - Sonic the Hedgehog
Pretty Princesses dig fat, short, Italian, plumbers and not their thin tall brothers - Mario
Passangers like having the crap scared out of them on rides, they even tip for it! - Crazy Taxi
______
That's all I can think of right now, give me awhile and I'll have some more.
You are actaully immune to the T-Virus, it's just everyone else who has the problem - Resident Evil series...duh
Weapons spin when they're left on the floor - Timesplitters
Getting hit by trains/golfcarts/cars and/or falling great heights will not stop you, but the clock will - Tony Hawks Skater games, Matt Hoffman Biking gmaes
Wrestling isn't fake - all WWE/WWF/ECW/WCW games
Foxes don't eat hedgehogs - Sonic the Hedgehog
Pretty Princesses dig fat, short, Italian, plumbers and not their thin tall brothers - Mario
Passangers like having the crap scared out of them on rides, they even tip for it! - Crazy Taxi
______
That's all I can think of right now, give me awhile and I'll have some more.
"I would, for instance, fellate a smurf before I pick death." Dylan Moran
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." Albert Einstein
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"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." Albert Einstein
EBC's Devonian Deviant | GALE's Supplementary Bi Brit | BoTM's Raw Recruit | GDC's Horny Delphinidae | I'm with RMA | CoIB
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