The best way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-12-10 11:37pm

Let's play "Don't Steal the Bandwidth"

Naughty supermod. ~Big D

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-12-11 12:17am

I just bring up the fact that their cult is based on an ancient sect called the Arians that was stomped out by the whole church in the first century.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-12-11 03:34am

ROFL

I'd just take it, whip out a lighter and set it on fire.

Then drop it on the ground and piss on it until the fire goes out.

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-12-11 08:07am

StormTrooperTR889 wrote:I just bring up the fact that their cult is based on an ancient sect called the Arians that was stomped out by the whole church in the first century.

Reallly.... I did not know that.

Assfuck....

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-12-11 08:09am

Stormbringer wrote:Let's play "Don't Steal the Bandwidth"

Naughty supermod. ~Big D

That gets rid of JWs because..?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-12-11 11:55am

Or what about putting on a CD by Judas Iscariot and cranking the volume to 10???

Oh, wait. That's how you drive away Mormons, not JWs.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2003-12-11 11:58am

Jehovah's Witnesses? Tell them to go shove the Watchtower up their asses.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2003-12-11 01:08pm

just tell them you're a devout satanist already and ask if they'd like to convert.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2003-12-11 01:11pm

Darth_Zod wrote:just tell them you're a devout satanist already and ask if they'd like to convert.

Never happen. Besides, that would make them all the more determined.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-12-11 01:21pm

Enigma wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:Let's play "Don't Steal the Bandwidth"

Naughty supermod. ~Big D
That gets rid of JWs because..?

You get the part about their religion having the same odds as the lottery in terms of salvation?

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-12-11 01:43pm

Stormbringer wrote:You get the part about their religion having the same odds as the lottery in terms of salvation?

IIRC the 144.000 that will go to heaven were selected by 1935, so unless you are in your late sixties the odds are even worse then that.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-12-11 02:03pm

Darth_Zod wrote:just tell them you're a devout satanist already and ask if they'd like to convert.

that's pretty much what you're doing by playing a Judas Iscariot record at maximum value.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-12-11 02:13pm

I did that once, try and convert a Jehova to Satanism. I knew they where comming and luckily i happened to be wearing a Marilyn Manson t-shirt. They 2 guys visibly stepped back when i opened the door. I then told them that I'd listen to them if they agreed to listen to me 1st. I got as far a telling them about virgin sacrafices, while looking at them funny, before they remembered they had an appointment else where. Sometimes i miss the days i was unemployed and had nothing better to do than torment Jehova's and door to door salesmen.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-12-11 02:16pm

I offer to convert if i get a lay out of it(if they're hot, which in itself is rare). Alas, never happens.

Alternatively, engage them in debate.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-12-11 04:31pm

My ex-husband was home from school sick on year when the JVs came to his door. They knocked until he got out of bed to answer the door. Which he did, in the nude, with his sword, growling.

They never came back.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-12-11 04:38pm

A good way not to be annoyed by JW is having a sticker on your door that say "I give blood"......but the Red Cross will come knocking.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-12-11 05:10pm

Montcalm wrote:A good way not to be annoyed by JW is having a sticker on your door that say "I give blood"......but the Red Cross will come knocking.

How about, "I give blood, but I have AIDS."

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-12-11 05:17pm

JW never come to my home, it looks like a crackhouse. But if they did I always thought it would be funny to have a bottle of lighter fluid washed out and filled with water. When they knock, spray them with the water and throw a match.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-11 05:30pm

Funny, but one thing.

GOD DAMNIT IT'S REVELATION!! NO FUCKING S!!!

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-12-11 08:42pm

One that I know works is to answer the door, reach out, grab the paper, look at it then ask them for the rest of their stack of 'firestarters'.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-12-11 08:50pm

I generally debate them into the ground when they come to the door...

jenat-lai · Post by **jenat-lai** » 2003-12-12 03:15am

Live nextdoor to one. They don't hastle us anymore lol. They go nextdoor for lunch. I think he tells them where lost causes

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2003-12-12 04:27am

Darth_Zod wrote:just tell them you're a devout satanist already and ask if they'd like to convert.

My mum once spent an hour aguing theology with a Jehovah's Witness who doorknocked our house. In the end, I'm pretty sure they were willing to convert to Catholicism just to get away from her.

Funnily enough, they never came back.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-12-12 07:09am

neoolong wrote:
Montcalm wrote:A good way not to be annoyed by JW is having a sticker on your door that say "I give blood"......but the Red Cross will come knocking.
How about, "I give blood, but I have AIDS."

Or "I give blood, but not my own"

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-12-12 08:39am

A friend of mine said that once when JW came to his door, he opened it, looked outside, and looked right through the JW, then as they were talking, Got a perplexed look on his face, leaned out, looked right, looked left, then muttered "Damn kids" As he shut the door.

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The best way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses

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