War & Peace [Culture]

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Singular Quartet
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War & Peace [Culture]

Post by Singular Quartet »

In line with all my other butcherings of ethical, moral, and societal optimisms, I present a work that could, theoretically, be enjoyed by anyone who has never read a damn thing about the Culture. Any similarities to the Russian Novel of the same name are purely coincidental. I've never read it, but the title worked rather well.


War & Peace
A fanfic about both The Culture and most of the rest of existance in general.
Typed/Written/Whatever by The Singular Quartet

Copyright stuff: I don't own The Culture. Nobody owns the Cutlure. Well, except for Iain M. Banks, but we all just think he's from it.

[tight beam, m8, tra. @n.4.30.624.1233]
xEccentric Unruly Evil
oGCU Raging Pacifist
'Allo.
-
[tight beam, m8, tra. @n.4.30.624.1503]
xEccentric Unruly Evil
oGCU Raging Pcaifist
I said "'Allo," you know. It was, in fact, pointed at you.
-
[tight beam, m8, tra. @n.4.30.624.1518]
xGCU Raging Pacifist
oEccentric Unruly Evil
Ah. I thought you had mis-sent it, as mistakes do, occasionally,
occur. And for what reason have I been granted this pleasure?

-
[Glyph: shrug] Don't know, really. Decided to talk to someone,
and you seemed like a good candidate.

-
And how was this decided?
-
Had a list from Selduse Orbital of all its children from when it
was still a GSV. Picked it at random.

-
Lovely. What do you want?
-
To talk. Didn't I say that? You seem kinda off...maybe you should
join me in being a loveable eccentric...

-
I most certainly will not!
-
What? Am I a bad role model?
-
The Idrians want your mind for gigadeathcrimes!
-
First, it was in the middle of a war. Second, thanks to all the
junk floating around that planet, I never saw that CAM depot.
Third...well...there is no third, but FOURTH...fourth is that it
needed to be done, plain and simple.

The supplies at that depot could have been used against the likes of
you had I not destroyed it. It could have been used against an
orbital, or a GSV carrying civilians from an orbital. Or it could
have been used against the likes of me later on.

-
That's still no excuse.
-
It's not an excuse. It's a set of not-so-carefully gauged
responses that say that I had every reason to do what I did. What you
peace faction idiots don't realize is that not all problems can be
solved through peaceful means. There will always be some rabid bunch
of idiots out there who will want to kill everybody that isn't them.

Always.

And to stop them without war means doing things far more deplorable
than war itself, and you wouldn't just have to do it once or twice.
You would have to do it every time you come across some group of
morons that doesn't particularly like you and has the technology to
do something about it.

We've already run into a few dozen that have had the proper level of
technology to make themselves a nusicance, and we've also run into
plenty that are on par with ourselves. What's the possibility that
we'll run into that doesn't like our continued existance, and has the
technology to really do something about it, hmm?

-
I see that got you, or maybe you're just ignoring me...Well,
you've provided me with something to think on for a few days, at
least. It's sad to see such bright minds deluding themselves with
faith in the rest of existance.

Oh, well. See you around!
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Peregrin Toker
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Post by Peregrin Toker »

A very good start, although a little confusing - who is saying what??
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"

"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
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Luke Starkiller
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Post by Luke Starkiller »

In the first couple lines the x is the from, the o the to. After that it goes back and forth each - except for the last one; the last two statements are from the Unruly Evil
What kind of dark wizard in league with nameless forces of primordial evil ARE you that you can't even make a successful sanity check versus BOREDOM? - Red Mage
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Singular Quartet
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Post by Singular Quartet »

Simon H.Johansen wrote:A very good start, although a little confusing - who is saying what??
As Luke StarKiller said, it's x is sent by, o is receive. And it ain't a start. I like one shots because there's no commitment involved. I can just send them off,a nd be done with it, ya know?
consequences
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Post by consequences »

Damned right.

The Mind conversation seemed true to form, and those are some nice ship names too.
Image
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