What Saddam was really up to

[Stuart Mackey]

Reposted from ASVS

Having seen what he looks like now, I think there is only one rational
explanation for what he was planning. I will now share it with you all...
in verse:
Ahem.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Iraq

Not a creature was stirring, not even a yak;

The coalition forces were making their rounds,

Alert for the tell-tale terrorist sounds;



The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her hijab, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,



When out on the lawn there arose such a din,

I thought it was Bin Laden trying to break in.

I ran to the window, both frightened and mad,

I'd soon teach this punk not to mess with Baghdad.



The moon on the breast of the cool desert sand

Showed me a sight not to dismiss out of hand,

For what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,



With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I'd heard of this fellow, this man named St. Nick.

But as he drew closer, I felt no longer sane,

For I knew that face, it was Saddam Hussein!



I realized his henchman had waylaid the Claus

And pressed the poor reindeer to service his cause

He'd grown out a beard and dyed his hair white

And was planning mischief on Christmas Eve night.



Gone were the sacs of elfin-forged toys

But the danger was worse than sad girls and sad boys

The sleigh was now stuffed with a grisly affair

A collection of horrors that he planned to share.



I'd heard of the weapons sought by the U.N.

That hadn't been found, well, hadn't tell then

For these were the weapons to kill and to maim

And Saddam led a cry as he called them by name:



"Now, ANTHRAX! now, HANTA! now, CHOLERA and VEE!

On, TABUN! on SARIN! on, SMALLPOX and WEE!

To the Pentagon fly! to the top of the Whitehall!

Now bomb away! bomb away! bomb away all!"



There was naught I could do as he rose in the air

Bearing gifts that it's best overall not to share.

As her rode out of sight, his dread voice then did tell:

"Happy Christmas to all, and I'll see you in hell!"



Chuck, weapon of mass disruption

[Gandalf]

Heh heh heh.

Sounds pretty cool, came out rather quickly methinks.

[Dalton]

Heh heh heh.

Sounds pretty cool, came out rather quickly methinks.

That's coz Chuck is da man.

BTW Stuart, I was way ahead of you FUQing this

[Stuart Mackey]

Heh heh heh.

Sounds pretty cool, came out rather quickly methinks.

That's coz Chuck is da man.

BTW Stuart, I was way ahead of you FUQing this

Good man, your paid to be alert

[Dalton]

Good man, your paid to be alert

I am? Where's the money then, you embezzling bastard?

[Stuart Mackey]

Good man, your paid to be alert

I am? Where's the money then, you embezzling bastard?

Embezzeled, naturally

[phongn]

They spent it all on donuts, I tell you!

[SyntaxVorlon]

Ah such silliness.

[The Cleric]

I thought they spent it on ale and Hong Kong hookers.