Researchers Find Uber 1337 = Stupid!

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

User avatar
General Zod
Never Shuts Up
Posts: 29211
Joined: 2003-11-18 03:08pm
Location: The Clearance Rack
Contact:

Researchers Find Uber 1337 = Stupid!

Post by General Zod »

not where this should go, but off topic seemed a safe bet.

Linky
Ubersite.com wrote:SANCHEZ, South Dakota (AP) -- A team of researchers have found typos to be indicative of intelligence levels.

Dr Stuart Coleman, the leading researcher of a team studying Internet typos, has found that there is a conclusive link between kinds and frequency of typos, and intelligence.

The team studied over 1,000 subjects from every walk of life. The subjects were asked to perform several different tasks, from E-mail to instant messaging and even Internet message boards, and the researchers would document the typos made and how often they occurred.

"We decided to focus specifically on 'typos' that are typically used as Internet slang, instead of accident related typos," said Dr Coleman. "These including things such as 'U-R' instead of 'you are.'"

Several others studied included "your" instead of "you're," "plz" instead of "please," "im" instead of "I'm." Other mistakes studied were grammatical, such as capitalization, correct comma use, even decipher made up words.

"Sometimes people would inquire about the study, and when I explained it to them, try to write off the typos as time saving," said Dr Coleman. "But when you think about, selling you intelligence for a few microseconds it takes to type the extra ' and e to spell "you're" correctly, is it really worth it?"

He continued to say; "It really gets me when people think that just because you're online you can typo like a fucking retard. If you have the motor control of a retarded chimpanzee with Parkinson's disease you should be able to do it."

The study concluded that people with advanced college degrees made almost no typos, and would actually fix accidental ones they found. People with a standard four year degree tended to use time savers, (i.e. skipping apostrophes in you're, as well as capitalization), while people with a high school diploma or less tended to type with the grammatical accuracy of a horse bashing its hoof against a keyboard.

Dr Coleman's main research analysts, Dr Anthony Doucet, had this to say about the results, "Generally as education improves grammar and spelling improve, as does diction and clarity of thought. But sometimes you'll find a douche bag who managed to struggle through a 2-year community college who would write like second grader on crack. Those were painful."

One post-based site frequented by the poorer performers was ubersite.com. Dr Doucet had this to say of people posting on this site, "I saw way too many posts that looked like they were written by a second grader with one hand two feet up his ass talking about how Black people suck, or how Mexicans are destroying the economy, or God knows what other garbage."

When some of these people were asked to take IQ tests, few accepted. "The ones who did enjoyed an average IQ of 57. That indicates severe mental retardation, or some form of brain trauma," said Dr Doucet. Dr Coleman was overheard saying, "Christ, even people who just had strokes and can barely move score better than that."

Dr Coleman gave a brief synopsis of the results as this, "As intelligence and education go up, generally these typos decrease. Of course, this is not always the case, but the trend is obvious. It is also important to note that there are many other factors playing into this, such as lifestyle, political views, ethnicity, et cetera. We still need further analysis to be able to conclusively identify trends in other areas."

These results may make dumbasses type correctly. For the sake of mankind, this reporter hopes so
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
User avatar
Demiurge
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 2067
Joined: 2002-08-29 02:27pm
Location: kittens

Post by Demiurge »

Your? The proper spelling is ur.
delicious pies
User avatar
Montcalm
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 7879
Joined: 2003-01-15 10:50am
Location: Montreal Canada North America

Post by Montcalm »

Why do i have the feeling that in the centuries to come,this kind of speed typing may become the norm :?
Image
Jerry Orbach 1935 2004
Admiral Valdemar~You know you've fucked up when Wacky Races has more realistic looking vehicles than your own.
Companion Cube
Biozeminade!
Posts: 3874
Joined: 2003-02-02 04:29pm
Location: what did you doooooo щ(゚Д゚щ)

Post by Companion Cube »

ur rong!!1!11! 133t sp34k 13 t3h ub3r!!!! :wink:


Sorry. Anyway, I find this reassuring-I almost always use normal english when I type anyway.
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always a clown
User avatar
Chardok
GET THE FUCK OFF MY OBSTACLE!
Posts: 8488
Joined: 2003-08-12 09:49am
Location: San Antonio

Post by Chardok »

Ahh, so nice to see conclisive evidence of retardation. Now I can point teh phucking morons on AO to that to check their intelligence levels. (I've used 1337 5p34k before, but joking around...


1337 = teh 00b0r!!!1!1one

:wink:
Image
User avatar
phongn
Rebel Leader
Posts: 18487
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:11pm

Post by phongn »

... this from the Associated Press? I don't think so.
User avatar
Col. Crackpot
That Obnoxious Guy
Posts: 10228
Joined: 2002-10-28 05:04pm
Location: Rhode Island
Contact:

Post by Col. Crackpot »

a bullshit artist wrote:He continued to say; "It really gets me when people think that just because you're online you can typo like a fucking retard. If you have the motor control of a retarded chimpanzee with Parkinson's disease you should be able to do it."
*sniff sniff..... mmmmm thats good cowpie :roll:
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
fgalkin2
Padawan Learner
Posts: 281
Joined: 2002-07-04 04:47pm

Post by fgalkin2 »

Bullshit indeed. Check out this fake CNN page.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
This is me posting from a public computer or a mobile device.
Cosmic Average
Jedi Knight
Posts: 692
Joined: 2002-12-17 11:11am

Post by Cosmic Average »

Hilarious! :D

And Jesus, can you people not realize what is and is not a joke when you read one?
User avatar
Col. Crackpot
That Obnoxious Guy
Posts: 10228
Joined: 2002-10-28 05:04pm
Location: Rhode Island
Contact:

Post by Col. Crackpot »

Cosmic Average wrote:Hilarious! :D

And Jesus, can you people not realize what is and is not a joke when you read one?
jokes are p4unny! dat shiznet is da w34kness! :roll:
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

wut d0 u m33n??// im smrt!!11
The study concluded that people with advanced college degrees made almost no typos, and would actually fix accidental ones they found. People with a standard four year degree tended to use time savers, (i.e. skipping apostrophes in you're, as well as capitalization), while people with a high school diploma or less tended to type with the grammatical accuracy of a horse bashing its hoof against a keyboard.
What I'm wondering is: Why do you need a college degree to understand basic rules of grammar? I find people that type with no regard for spelling and grammar annoying as well, but hardly indicative of IQ.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
SyntaxVorlon
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5954
Joined: 2002-12-18 08:45pm
Location: Places
Contact:

Post by SyntaxVorlon »

I've long thought this, but I needed this fake AP report to confirm it.
Image
WE, however, do meddle in the affairs of others.
What part of [ Image,Image, N(Image) ] don't you understand?
Skeptical Armada Cynic: ROU Aggressive Logic
SDN Ranger: Skeptical Ambassador
EOD
Mr Golgotha, Ms Scheck, we're running low on skin. I suggest you harvest another lesbian!
User avatar
Hamel
Sith Marauder
Posts: 3842
Joined: 2003-02-06 10:34am
Contact:

Post by Hamel »

I love it when shitheads type as if they're writing a thesis statement in the middle of a game, and act as if it makes them sophisticated or something. Their loss, because while they're fumbling to impress everyone, I'm fragging their asses to kingdom come.
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
User avatar
Andrew J.
Sith Marauder
Posts: 3508
Joined: 2002-08-18 03:07pm
Location: The Adirondacks

Post by Andrew J. »

What about people who misspell stuff because they're always drunk?
Don't hate; appreciate!

RIP Eddie.
User avatar
Xenophobe3691
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4334
Joined: 2002-07-24 08:55am
Location: University of Central Florida, Orlando, FL
Contact:

Post by Xenophobe3691 »

I fucking hate it when people type like that, honestly, EVEN MY DAD DOES IT, AND HE'S A FUCKING MD!
Dark Heresy: Dance Macabre - Imperial Psyker Magnus Arterra

BoTM
Proud Decepticon

Post 666 Made on Fri Jul 04, 2003 @ 12:48 pm
Post 1337 made on Fri Aug 22, 2003 @ 9:18 am
Post 1492 Made on Fri Aug 29, 2003 @ 5:16 pm

Hail Xeno: Lord of Calculus -- Ace Pace
Image
User avatar
BlkbrryTheGreat
BANNED
Posts: 2658
Joined: 2002-11-04 07:48pm
Location: Philadelphia PA

Post by BlkbrryTheGreat »

You should have saved this for April first.
Devolution is quite as natural as evolution, and may be just as pleasing, or even a good deal more pleasing, to God. If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.

-H.L. Mencken
User avatar
Gandalf
SD.net White Wizard
Posts: 16369
Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
Location: A video store in Australia

Post by Gandalf »

I should probably send that out as chain e-mail or something.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
User avatar
Sriad
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3028
Joined: 2002-12-02 09:59pm
Location: Colorado

Post by Sriad »

He continued to say; "It really gets me when people think that just because you're online you can typo like a fucking retard. If you have the motor control of a retarded chimpanzee with Parkinson's disease you should be able to do it."
Someone's bitter. :lol:

Seriously though, that was nice. Fun. Etc.
User avatar
C.S.Strowbridge
Sore Loser
Posts: 905
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:32pm
Location: Burnaby, BC, Canada
Contact:

Post by C.S.Strowbridge »

Hamel wrote:I love it when shitheads type as if they're writing a thesis statement in the middle of a game, and act as if it makes them sophisticated or something. Their loss, because while they're fumbling to impress everyone, I'm fragging their asses to kingdom come.
I don't talk in games. Why bother?
User avatar
Stormbringer
King of Democracy
Posts: 22678
Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm

Post by Stormbringer »

Andrew J. wrote:What about people who misspell stuff because they're always drunk?
AA
Image
User avatar
Stormbringer
King of Democracy
Posts: 22678
Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm

Post by Stormbringer »

Hamel wrote:I love it when shitheads type as if they're writing a thesis statement in the middle of a game, and act as if it makes them sophisticated or something. Their loss, because while they're fumbling to impress everyone, I'm fragging their asses to kingdom come.
There's a big difference between people using that in a game and morons that use it as a subsitute for proper English.
Image
User avatar
Admiral Valdemar
Outside Context Problem
Posts: 31572
Joined: 2002-07-04 07:17pm
Location: UK

Post by Admiral Valdemar »

C.S.Strowbridge wrote:
Hamel wrote:I love it when shitheads type as if they're writing a thesis statement in the middle of a game, and act as if it makes them sophisticated or something. Their loss, because while they're fumbling to impress everyone, I'm fragging their asses to kingdom come.
I don't talk in games. Why bother?
But those 12-year olds need to harp on about how "l33t" they are when they get a kill in CS. Meanwhile, the quiet ones put their digits to good use by lining up that sniping shot at the prancing fools.
User avatar
Zac Naloen
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5488
Joined: 2003-07-24 04:32pm
Location: United Kingdom

Post by Zac Naloen »

smartest person i know types in short hand like that...

and when i say smartest i mean like fucking prodigy smart... i think its cos she treats msn like her mobile phone... im not sure though.
Image
Member of the Unremarkables
Just because you're god, it doesn't mean you can treat people that way : - My girlfriend
Evil Brit Conspiracy - Insignificant guy
Robert Walper
Dishonest Resident Borg Fan-Whore
Posts: 4206
Joined: 2002-08-08 03:56am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Post by Robert Walper »

Makes me wonder where my grammar and spelling level puts me on their IQ system. I don't imagine the system being all that accurate, since in fact I didn't go to college nor have any plan to do so.

*ahem* Correction...

maks me wondr were my gramir an speeling levl put me on thier iq thing i dont think hte systm beeing al that acurate since ni fact i didnt goto colege an hav no plan to do so
User avatar
General Zod
Never Shuts Up
Posts: 29211
Joined: 2003-11-18 03:08pm
Location: The Clearance Rack
Contact:

Post by General Zod »

always pisses me off when people on a forum use 'it saves time' as an excuse to spell like shit. if you've got the time to go to a forum and read over other people's posts, you should have enough time to make your posts legible. on a chat it's somewhat understandable (not that it makes it any less stupid), but on a forum there shouldn't be any excuse. i'll use 1337 every once in a rare while, but not that often, and only when i'm joking around usually.
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
Post Reply