Sith God's Battle

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-06 02:01am

This is an imaginary reenactment of real events that took place early in this board's life. Enjoy!

Sith God's Battle

In the pinnacle of his Dark Tower, Sith God looked out at Stardesrtoyer.net. He smiled. He'd begun his plan to slowly poison the young discussion forum. Soon, the website would be dry and withered away, a mere wasteland. Thus far, Darth Wong, the Administrator, had done nothing, and the only serious resistance had come from Mr. Bean and David. Neither of whom has the power to stop me, he thought. "Milord," a lackey said.

"Yes."

"I have reports on the newest sent threads."

"And?"

"Bean stopped two of them as you predicted."

"What about the third?"

"It fell under attack by Grand Admiral-"

"Thrawn?!" In an instant, Sith God had whirled around and was holding the lackey by the throat. "That Sith Apprentice is getting involved?"

"Y-yes my lord."

Sith God threw the hapless man across the room. "Well, this isn't good. If Thrawn is taking an interest, it's only a matter of time before Wong attacks." We'll have to accelerate our plans." Sith God turned to leave the room, but suddenly, the skylight was shattered by a person dropping through! The figure, cloaked in Jedi robes, landed in a crouch before Sith God. "Well, quite an entrance," Sith God said mockingly.

"You're going to pay for the people you've traumatized, Sith God," The figure said.

Sith God sneered. "You think you're going to stop me? You're not even a Moderator, much less an Administrator. You don't have the authority."

"I have all the authority I need right here," the figure said, brandishing a lightsaber.

Sith God ignited his own lightsaber. "Very well, Bean. We shall see who is the strongest."

"Bean?" the figure said, surprised. He threw back his hood, revealing that he was an oozaru (a super-monkey). His golden fur waved in the slight draft, and his smoldering red eyes fixed on Sith God's own cold blue eyes.

"David?! What are you doing here?"

David ignited his own golden lightsaber. "I'm here to end your reign of terror. Now JUST BRING IT!" The two met, lightsabers arcing and screaming where they met. The two continued back and forth, until finally, David parried one of Sith God's blows and stepped in, bringing his shoulder up and into Sith's chin.

Sith God stumbled back. "I see that you've learned how to focus your powers," he said. "More of a challenge." He leapt at Rob, moving twice as fast as before, and Rob was hard pressed to meet every blow. Neither of them noticed the glowing circle being cut into the room's door. Finally, Sith God lashed out and punched David, who couldn't backpedal quickly enough and fell back. Triumphant, Sith God held his saber to David's throat. "And now, who has won?" Even as he brought his lightsaber up to deliver the final blow, the room's door burst in, accompanied by a trio of blaster bolts. Sith God knocked them all away. "Who DARES?"

"I do," Mr. Bean said. He walked into the room, dressed in a snappy business suit, his green lightsaber active and ready.

"Well, Bean! What a pleasant surprise-"

"Quiet, Sith. Stardestroyer.net has had enough of you. Even now, Grand Admiral Thrawn and His Divine Shadow are leading the sack of your fortress."

"You're-you're lying!"

"No." Bean charged, attacking with a left-right slash, which Sith God blocked. Using the Force, David called his own lightsaber back to his hand. Sith God activated his second blade and began blocking and parrying as the two attacked in tandem. Bean jumped over a horizontal slash and tried to bring his saber down on Sith's head, but the troll continued his movement to black. David came in from the side, but Sith God tilted his saber to black that too. A Force push knocked the two Jedi back, and Sith God took the opportunity to uses Force Lightning. Bean blocked it with his saber, while David redirected it into the ceiling.

Suddenly, a blast of energy caught Sith God in the chest and knocked him back. Both David and Bean spun around to see a tall, cloaked figure. "Darth Wong!" they exclaimed together. Extinguishing their lightsabers, they both dropped to one knee before the great Administrator.

"Rise my friends." The voice was smooth and confidant, and David and Bean took up positions on either side of him. "So. This is the one called Sith God."

"Yes, Lord Wong," David said.

"He's the one who tried to spam the forums into submission," Bean added.

"Well then." Quick as lightning, Wong raised his arm in a Force choke. Sith God was bodily raised from the floor, his airflow severely hampered. "I have seen what you've been doing, Sith God," Wong said. "Do you really think me to be so blind?" Sith God answered with more choking. "I find you to be consistently trollish and abusive. I hereby condemn you…" suddenly, he released Sith God. "To be banned. You shall never show your face here again. Consider the decision merciful. I don't want to look bad, killing the first troll here at SD." He turned to leave. Sith God growled, then activated his saber and attacked! However, a flash of green and gold stopped him, as David and Mr. Bean both made their attacks. Sliced nearly in half, Sith God crumpled to the floor. Both Jedi suddenly realized that Wong hadn't even turned around!

"He saw it coming," Bean said.

"And he knew we'd stop him," David finished.

Mike gestured for the two to fall into step with him. As they did so, he said "You have done well, David and Bean. You showed great courage and prudence, first attempting to curb the troll's excesses, then finally taking the last, drastic measure. Tell me, how would you like to be Moderators?"

"Mods?" David repeated.

"Really?"

"Yes. You have great devotion."

David and Bean looked at each other. "As you wish, Lord Wong," David said.

"We would be honored," Bean added. The three exited, leaving Sith God's slashed and torn body behind to rot.

END.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-06 10:32am

Wow I must realy be drunk I can barley remeber that day

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-10-06 02:37pm

I had not yet arrived on the board when Sith God was banned. It appears that I was one of the lucky ones.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-06 03:16pm

Rarer is it that I see one use l337 speak so baddly

I think even 12 year old Script Kiddes would have been offended at his grammer

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-06 07:07pm

everyone was offended by his grammer.

David · Post by **David** » 2002-10-07 09:22pm

It didn't quite happen that way................. but thanks anyway.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-07 09:27pm

Glad you like!

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-07 09:31pm

Yes, Where are the Strippers? Where is the big Pre-game drunken party?
WHERE ARE THE BLOODY ENGLISH?

Oh and I decicded to honor you with my 4500 Post AND a Spanking new Avatar!
*Note no spanking was invovled in the creation of this avatar its mearly a figure of speach

You Sick Bastard

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-07 09:34pm

Mr Bean wrote:Yes, Where are the Strippers? Where is the big Pre-game drunken party?
WHERE ARE THE BLOODY ENGLISH?

All of those were in the unedited version, but SOMEONE has messed with my post.

Oh and I decicded to honor you with my 4500 Post AND a Spanking new Avatar!
*Note no spanking was invovled in the creation of this avatar its mearly a figure of speach

You Sick Bastard

Oh.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-07 09:40pm

I KNEW, I did not want to admit it but I KNEW you would think that way you sick monkey!

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-07 09:41pm

OOK OOK OOK!