How Stravo Got His Groove Back

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-12-15 08:11pm

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Glad Kuj forgot about me.

Edit: 600th post for Groove!

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-12-16 12:24am

ROFLMAO!!! "Fangboy"? AHAHAH!!!!

:!:

~ver

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-16 01:01am

Aya wrote:Hahahahahahahahahaha. Glad Kuj forgot about me.

Oh, is that what you think?

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-12-16 01:03am

Kuja wrote:
Aya wrote:Hahahahahahahahahaha. Glad Kuj forgot about me.
Oh, is that what you think?

Not really. Aya's just being coy, aren't you, babydoll?

PS~VERY funny stuff, as usual, Kuj. *blows kiss* Nice work.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-12-16 02:04am

Kuja wrote:
Aya wrote:Hahahahahahahahahaha. Glad Kuj forgot about me.
Oh, is that what you think?

Crud. *Jumps in Zaia's lap* Protect me?

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-12-16 03:27am

Someone's been playing Conker's BFD...

Lt - "teh c4p7ur3d by 6n0m35?"

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-12-16 03:58am

Holy shit, I'm the Merovingian in flame-retardant underwear! o_O

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-12-16 08:21am

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:Holy shit, I'm the Merovingian in flame-retardant underwear! o_O

Shup.. At least you didn't have a building collapse on you.

~ver

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-12-16 01:11pm

Aya wrote:
Kuja wrote:Oh, is that what you think?
Crud. *Jumps in Zaia's lap* Protect me?

You're sorely mistaken if you think that I have any sort of power over Kuj, darlin'. But it's nice to think so.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-16 04:40pm

verilon wrote:
Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:Holy shit, I'm the Merovingian in flame-retardant underwear! o_O
Shup.. At least you didn't have a building collapse on you.

~ver

At least you...

Wait, I was the one who did the burning, nevermind.

*wanders off all happy like, torching random stuff*

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-12-16 11:10pm

First rule of war, everything burns. Glad they didn't let one little failed attempted at assualt with intent to kill stop them.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-12-17 02:32am

I'm seeing a, uh, "runaway" fire truck in your future, Kuja

That said, aside from the remark about football (I don't give a shit about it) your description of my computer area was rather accurate

(with one other minor detail, there is not a single copy of Windows XP in my house...)

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-17 02:29pm

Part 33A: GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE!

*rapid zoom-in on Earth. A Delta Flyer is desperately evading laser blasts from AYA'S X-wing. The Flyer fires its rear phasers, but does not come even close to scoring a hit. The X-wing fires back and nails the Flyer in its engines. AYA peels off and watches the Flyer tumble into the Earth's atmosphere. CUT TO the cockpit of the Delta Flyer as consoles begin frying*

METRION CASCADE: Shit!

*the Delta Flyer glows red and begins to shake apart before detonating in the upper atmosphere. CUT TO AYA'S cockpit as he begins laughing*

AYA: Chalk up another one. Heh. Hehehe. Ahahahahahaa! Boy, with all this fun I'm having, you'd almost think I was being set up for something!

*he throws his head back and laughs. CUT TO the exterior of his ship as it slams into an asteroid and explodes*

Part 33B: MORE SENSELESS VIOLENCE!

KUJA: Hey, guess what!

VERILON: I hate guessing games.

KUJA: I'm twenty!

VERILON: Oh, great. *mutters* Damn people reaching twenty before I do.

2000AD: Ha hah! Poor Americans! If you lived in the UK, you could drink legally the way I do! Sucks to be you, huh?

*VERILON and KUJA look at each other*

VERILON: Get him.

*they rush 2000AD and flatten him. KUJA drops to his knees and begins punching him in the head. VERILON begins kicking him in the groin over and over*

2000AD: Ow! Ow! Ow! HELP!

CYRAN: Wait, guys! You can't do this?

KUJA: Why not?

*CYRAN whips out a baseball bat with a couple nails in it*

CYRAN: You don't have the proper tools!

2000AD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

*they hammer on 2000AD until he shuts the hell up*

Part 33C: WOOOOOO!

WEEMADANDO: Damn trolls! Die!

*he runs through a pack of trolls and slices them all up with a huge battle-ax. Lots of splattery gore*

LT: Ando, you can't keep this up forever.

ANDO: Why not?

LT: Well…you really wanna end up like him?

MKSHEPPARD: DIE MECHA, DIE DIE DIE!

ANDO: Sure. Beats ending up like him.

EINHANDER: I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE! HE-Y!

*HIT-MAN shudders*

LT: Good point. Oh, watch out!

*he whips out a pistol and fires it into a troll that was sneaking up on ANDO. Brains spray everywhere*

ANDO: KILL THE TROLLS!

*they wade into an army of trolls and slaughter them*

Part 33D: The Explanation

*fade in on STRAVO and DALTON reading a script with horrified expressions*

STRAVO: What the fuck is this? It's got more brain-dead violence than House of 1000 Corpses!

DALTON: And it doesn't even have a plot at all! Hell, the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre had more of a plot than this! What the hell's gone wrong with Kuja?

STRAVO: Let's find out.

*he picks up the phone and dials a number*

STRAVO: Buffalo Psychiatric Institute for the Permanently Unbalanced? What's he doing there? What do you mean, steady diet of action movies and violent games? What have you people DONE to him? Oh, he did it himself, I get it. You're giving him dangerously high doses of Valium? Yeah, that'll probably do it. OK, good luck with the extra straightjackets. Yeah.

*he hangs up*

DALTON: Burn it?

STRAVO: Burn it.

*DALTON sets fire to the papers and accidentally burns the desk down*

DALTON: Whoops.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-12-17 03:06pm

ROFLMMFQPAO!!! OMFG!!

:!::!::!:

~ver

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-12-17 04:51pm

*Stands on Asteroid, trying to catch a ride down to Earth* My insurance is going to go through the roof now.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-12-17 08:18pm

MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*looks left to right, right to left*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*sees Cyran and Kuja sneaking up with their hands poised*

Shit!

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-18 12:26am

Geez Kuja... Do I have to do all the thinking for us?

Oh, loved the Whole bit with Ando, Shepperd, and Ein. That was great.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-12-18 11:16am

Pheh, I killed 2000AD better than that.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-12-18 02:15pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:Geez Kuja... Do I have to do all the thinking for us?

BASTARD!!! -THWACK-

And Kuja.. you did an excellent job of my attitude, by the way.

~ver

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-12-18 06:27pm

Looks like i'm Flavour (to kill) of the Month

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-25 09:46pm

Here's your Christmas present, you unwashed heathens.

Part 34: I'll Worm My Way Into Your Dreams

*open up on deep space*

KUJA (vo): In A.D. 2101...

*the camera pans to reveal a reddish-brown spaceship*

KUJA (vo): War was beginning.

*an explosion erupts from inside the ship. CUT TO: the bridge of the ship*

STRAVO: What happen?

DALTON: Somebody set us up the bomb.

CYRAN: We get signal!

STRAVO: What!

CYRAN: Main screen turn on.

*an image of LT. HIT-MAN materializes*

STRAVO: It's you!

LT: Greetings, gentlemen! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.

*STRAVO pounds his fist on the deck*

STRAVO: What you say!

LT: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha.

*his image disappears. STRAVO assumes a thoughtful pose*

DALTON: Captain, what we do?

STRAVO: You know what you doing. Take off every 'Zig'!

*an image of a fighter appears on the main screen*

STRAVO: For great justice.

*he blinks*

STRAVO: Wait a minute, something's wrong here. People don't talk like this! And where am I? I'm supposed to be in New York doing my job, not in deep space fighting a war!

ZAIA (vo): Stravo?

STRAVO: Zaia? Where are you?

ZAIA: Stravo, can you hear me?

STRAVO: Yes, where are you?

*fade to black and zoom out of STRAVO'S pupil as he lays on the sidewalk. He suddenly shakes his head*

DALTON: Hey, hey, easy! You OK?

STRAVO: Yeah, what happen? I mean, what's going on?

ZAIA: You caught a bit of collateral damage.

STRAVO: From what?

*she looks over at CYRAN and KUJA, both of whom hide a baseball bat behind their backs*

BOTH: WE DIDN'T DO IT!

STRAVO: *grunts* Well, that tells me just about all I need to know.

*he stands*

DALTON: You sure you okay?

STRAVO: Agh!

ZAIA: What? What is it?

STRAVO: It's just that...I had this terrible dream...I was in charge of this junk heap of a spaceship...and there was a war...and things got blown up...and everyone talked really freakin' weird!

*out in the street, a cab suddenly has a head-on collision with a car. Both drivers get out*

NYC DRIVER: You is one hella dead muthafuka! I's is gonna cram my fist up yo ass so hard, you's is gonna be tastin' knuckle!

CAB DRIVER: Oh sir please be believing me when I say to you that it was an accident! I am just arrive in this city and am not meaning to disobey the directions of driving here!

STRAVO: ...on second thought, it wasn't all that weird.

KUJA: Yeah, you'd have to be pretty strange to beat out folks here on Terra Firma.

ZAIA: *mutters* With you being the principle example.

KUJA: What?

ZAIA: I said that when it comes to folks on Terra Firma, you're a fine example.

*KUJA beams*

ZAIA: Now can we get back to what we were doing?

STRAVO: Right...where were we going?

DALTON: Central Park.

STRAVO: OK, I'm good.

Meanwhile, in an area of New York State that was unaffected by Dalton's Idiom Switch for some technobabblish reason, a group of hooded and cloaked figures riding black horses stopped at a gas station. The attendant, although nervous, came out to ask what they needed. A bag of gold coins suddenly hit the ground at his feet. As he stared at it, astonished, one of them hissed "Maaaanhaaaaataaaan...Straaaaaavo."

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-12-25 09:52pm

Haha, nice.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-12-25 10:24pm

Kuja wrote:Meanwhile, in an area of New York State that was unaffected by Dalton's Idiom Switch for some technobabblish reason, a group of hooded and cloaked figures riding black horses stopped at a gas station. The attendant, although nervous, came out to ask what they needed. A bag of gold coins suddenly hit the ground at his feet. As he stared at it, astonished, one of them hissed "Maaaanhaaaaataaaan...Straaaaaavo."

The Central Park Rangers?

(someone has watched too much Elf

)

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-12-25 11:58pm

I'm not sure it's the *best* idea to watch "All Your Base Are Belong to Us" and LotR in such close proximity...

But much the hilarity anyways. ^.~

~ver

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-12-26 12:16am

ROTF

I love how, when Strav shakes himself away, he says, "Yeah, what happen? I mean, what's going on?"