Something I have always been afraid to ask

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

User avatar
DPDarkPrimus
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 18399
Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Soontir C'boath wrote:
Zaia wrote:WE NEED A SARCASTIC FONT, GODDAMNIT!!!!!
Very much so, but what would it look like? :? ~Jason
Something like this?

Image
http://www.1001freefonts.com/fonts/sfonts4.htm
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

SyntaxVorlon wrote:Less than three inches? :lol:
That only happens if it got blown off in the war.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
User avatar
Rye
To Mega Therion
Posts: 12493
Joined: 2003-03-08 07:48am
Location: Uighur, please!

Post by Rye »

Darth Wong wrote:
SyntaxVorlon wrote:Less than three inches? :lol:
That only happens if it got blown off in the war.
Actually, there's a condition called micro penis where it's only like 2 centimetres long.
EBC|Fucking Metal|Artist|Androgynous Sexfiend|Gozer Kvltist|
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
Howedar
Emperor's Thumb
Posts: 12472
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:06pm
Location: St. Paul, MN

Post by Howedar »

Darth Wong wrote:It's pointless to ask a guy how long his own dick is. Every young guy in the world claims to have a porno-sized dick if you ask him. Very few are willing to admit to having an ordinary-sized dick.
I am 18. My penis is about 6 1/4" long.

"Every" is a dangerous word to use.
Howedar is no longer here. Need to talk to him? Talk to Pick.
User avatar
Gandalf
SD.net White Wizard
Posts: 16369
Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
Location: A video store in Australia

Post by Gandalf »

When a measurement is undertaken, is it while it's erect or not?
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

Gandalf wrote:When a measurement is undertaken, is it while it's erect or not?
Measurements are taken while the phallus is flaccid and folded in half.
「かかっ―」
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Post by Durandal »

While erect, approximately 7 in. I could take some better measurements later on I suppose. Ten measurements and a statistical standard deviation would produce pretty decent results. The error would probably be somewhere in the area of +/- 0.2 in. or so.
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
Worlds Spanner
Jedi Knight
Posts: 542
Joined: 2003-04-30 03:51pm

Post by Worlds Spanner »

Quite a diversity I see.

Frankly, I wouldn't know where to put mine if it was bigger than the 6 inches or so I would guess it is.
If you don't ask, how will you know?
User avatar
Zaia
Inamorata
Posts: 13983
Joined: 2002-10-23 03:04am
Location: Londontowne

Post by Zaia »

XaLEv wrote:
Gandalf wrote:When a measurement is undertaken, is it while it's erect or not?
Measurements are taken while the phallus is flaccid and folded in half.
:lol:
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
User avatar
El Moose Monstero
Moose Rebellion Ambassador
Posts: 3743
Joined: 2003-04-30 12:33pm
Location: The Cradle of the Rebellion... Oop Nowrrth, Like...
Contact:

Post by El Moose Monstero »

Right, fine, I'm small or at the least below average on this issue, a year ago, it bothered me, fragile male pride and all that, but I'm philosophical on the issue these days, I can't help what I've been born with and it's hardly as if there's only one way to please a woman. In theory, of course, as yet, sheer inexperience and cluelessness has not led me within a few lightyears of the baseball field, never mind bases.
Image
"...a fountain of mirth, issuing forth from the penis of a cupid..." ~ Dalton / Winner of the 'Frank Hipper Most Horrific Drag EVAR' award - 2004 / The artist formerly known as The_Lumberjack.

Evil Brit Conspiracy: Token Moose Obsessed Kebab Munching Semi Geordie
User avatar
Darth Fanboy
DUH! WINNING!
Posts: 11182
Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.

Post by Darth Fanboy »

My dick is so big It has its own dick, and my dicks's dick is still bigger than your dick.
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)

"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
Super-Gagme
Little Stalker Boy
Posts: 1282
Joined: 2002-10-26 07:20am
Location: Lincoln, UK
Contact:

Post by Super-Gagme »

Darth Fanboy wrote:My dick is so big It has its own dick, and my dicks's dick is still bigger than your dick.
:wtf:
History? I love history! First, something happens, then, something else happens! It's so sequential!! Thank you first guy, for writing things down!

evilcat4000: I dont spam

Cairbur: The Bible can, and has, been used to prove anything and everything (practically!)
StarshipTitanic: Prove it.
User avatar
Frank Hipper
Overfiend of the Superego
Posts: 12882
Joined: 2002-10-17 08:48am
Location: Hamilton, Ohio?

Post by Frank Hipper »

Darth Fanboy wrote:My dick is so big It has its own dick, and my dicks's dick is still bigger than your dick.
I would like to say both yuck and ouch to that.

Guys with smaller wieners enjoy a better oral experience, I would think. They probably don't run the risk of unhappy meetings of sensitive cock and gashing tooth.

Me, I don't enjoy head so much. :wink: :D
Image
Life is all the eternity you get, use it wisely.
User avatar
Zac Naloen
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5488
Joined: 2003-07-24 04:32pm
Location: United Kingdom

Post by Zac Naloen »

i dunno if im particularly unusual or anything... but i've never measured, nor do i really care all that much.

Its gets the job done... well i assume it does anyways.
Image
Member of the Unremarkables
Just because you're god, it doesn't mean you can treat people that way : - My girlfriend
Evil Brit Conspiracy - Insignificant guy
User avatar
Lagmonster
Master Control Program
Master Control Program
Posts: 7719
Joined: 2002-07-04 09:53am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Post by Lagmonster »

I'm sure we all know that measuring is not necessarily a hardy standard of manhood. I prefer the following questions:

1) Does your penis function properly when required?

2) Do your partners really enjoy sex with you, and recommend you to all their friends?

When you're under 40, a yes answer to both is good enough pride for a guy. When you're over 40, just having a yes answer to number 1 is cause for joy, I'm told.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
User avatar
Dorsk 81
Sith Devotee
Posts: 2592
Joined: 2003-03-04 08:10pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Dorsk 81 »

Zaia wrote:Yes, less than three inches is ENTIRELY too big. I shudder at the thought. Look. Look at me, shuddering. In fear. Apprehension of all that beef. Eeek. Too much. I draw the line at 2.47 inches. Anything bigger--Lord have mercy, I don't even want to think about how much that would hurt. Oh shudder, shudder. The fear, pain, etc.


WE NEED A SARCASTIC FONT, GODDAMNIT!!!!!

:P
*Goes to get metre ruler, measures*
Zaia, I'm sorry, but we can never be... :(

*Ahem* While erect I am 6" give or take a a cm. While flacid I'm half that.

Anyway, I don't see the point about lying about the size to people online because to them it doesn't matter.
I don't see the point about lying to girls to get them into bed because that like promising and full english breakfast and giving her toast instead.
In short (no pun intended :P ) be happy with what you got because you can't change it and people mocking you because it's either small or big isn't going to change it and wishing it was smaller or bigger isn't going to change it.
Last edited by Dorsk 81 on 2003-12-18 08:55am, edited 2 times in total.
"I would, for instance, fellate a smurf before I pick death." Dylan Moran
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." Albert Einstein
EBC's Devonian Deviant | GALE's Supplementary Bi Brit | BoTM's Raw Recruit | GDC's Horny Delphinidae | I'm with RMA | CoIB
Robert Walper
Dishonest Resident Borg Fan-Whore
Posts: 4206
Joined: 2002-08-08 03:56am
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Post by Robert Walper »

Last time I checked, about 6 to 7 inches. It was a long time ago(when I was 18 or 19 I think), and I haven't been concerned enough to check since(perhaps this thread may impose some paranoia :)). Since I'm 6'2 now, relatively speaking, I have a very average size I believe. I wouldn't put it past 7, if that.
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Darth Fanboy wrote:My dick is so big It has its own dick, and my dicks's dick is still bigger than your dick.
Yeah, while mine's so big, that when I get an erection, I pass out from lack of blood flowing to other parts of my body! :P
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
El Moose Monstero
Moose Rebellion Ambassador
Posts: 3743
Joined: 2003-04-30 12:33pm
Location: The Cradle of the Rebellion... Oop Nowrrth, Like...
Contact:

Post by El Moose Monstero »

Incidentally, whilst all this is going on, it seems a good point to bring out the Lord of the Rings member humour, we jokingly referred to a friends penis as Orthanc, which then led to comments about huge glimmering sharp pointy towers rising out of a sparse and de-shrubbed woodland, we then went for an encore with another friend dubbing his to be Fangorn, morning wood from hell, enormous mobile oaken monster. Which left me with Baradur. Which, upon further extrapolation, involves an enormous spiky tower with a great fiery eye on top, with a habit of collapsing if people tried putting small objects in the nearby crack of Doom.

Read into that what you well, somewhere, Tolkien is laughing at us all...
Image
"...a fountain of mirth, issuing forth from the penis of a cupid..." ~ Dalton / Winner of the 'Frank Hipper Most Horrific Drag EVAR' award - 2004 / The artist formerly known as The_Lumberjack.

Evil Brit Conspiracy: Token Moose Obsessed Kebab Munching Semi Geordie
Howedar
Emperor's Thumb
Posts: 12472
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:06pm
Location: St. Paul, MN

Post by Howedar »

LOL!
Howedar is no longer here. Need to talk to him? Talk to Pick.
User avatar
muse
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1821
Joined: 2003-11-26 07:04pm

Re: Something I have always been afraid to ask

Post by muse »

Sam Or I wrote:OK, we know the average penis size is 5.5-6 inches. My question is, where does the measurement start? From the top were it connects? From the side where it connects, or all the way back behind the testicals?
How you measure it depends on how big you want it to be. :wink:
ø¤ º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)

I like Celine Dion myself. Her ballads alone....they make me go all teary-eyed and shit.
- Havok
User avatar
Beaker
Padawan Learner
Posts: 225
Joined: 2003-09-25 09:59am
Location: Dr Honeydews Lab
Contact:

Post by Beaker »

Its not all good having a big penis...yeah you may say...god I really want one...but alot of women dont like it...it hurts them a little...some of my ex-girlfriends found my dick a little too uncomfortable...so I had to be gentle as opposed to just going for it... :? Gentle is good sometimes...but after a night on the town...when you want to get wild...well...so you see...it has its down points :?
Image
MEEP!
---------------
---------------
Evil Brit Conspiracy: Welsh-Mancunian Coke Fiend
---------------
This R2 Unit is Fucked - Owen Lars
---------------
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Mine's 8 inches
Frank Hipper wrote:Guys with smaller wieners enjoy a better oral experience, I would think. They probably don't run the risk of unhappy meetings of sensitive cock and gashing tooth.

Me, I don't enjoy head so much. :wink: :D
I love sucking on a guy's dick if it's smaller than 6 inches, because the small ones usually get ROCK HARD! Dicks over 8 inches are hella fun for me to deep-throat.

I don't like getting head anywhere near as much as I like giving it tho. In fact, I couldn't care less for it... :twisted:
Image Image
User avatar
General Zod
Never Shuts Up
Posts: 29211
Joined: 2003-11-18 03:08pm
Location: The Clearance Rack
Contact:

Post by General Zod »

i'm surprised nobody's made an actual penis measuring thread yet.
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Beaker wrote:Its not all good having a big penis...yeah you may say...god I really want one...but alot of women dont like it...it hurts them a little...some of my ex-girlfriends found my dick a little too uncomfortable...so I had to be gentle as opposed to just going for it... :? Gentle is good sometimes...but after a night on the town...when you want to get wild...well...so you see...it has its down points :?
Welcome to the Club, Beaker. I have exactly the same trouble, except that 6 inches can be uncomfortable if shoved in too quickly or without lube (remember, it's a guy's ass, not a girl's pussy) :teeth:
Image Image
Post Reply