Dilemna

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2002-10-08 05:46pm

ok, im in a bad situation here and need advice.

Theres a girl that im good friends with, that I really, really, like. She comes over 1-2 times a week and we just hang out, so I have plenty of opportunities to try something, but I dont. Until today, she had a boyfriend who was pretty much perfect for her, until he dumped her. Shes pretty depressed about the whole thing. I sorta had a chance with her before they went out, but didnt take it, and now its almost certainly diminished, there are several other people who also like her, and will prob move in. What should I do?

EDIT: The others who like her are: one of my best friends, who I know has a better chance, but he dosnt like decisions (hes said repeatedly he wouldnt mind if i went out with her, and vice versa), a short, annoying freshman whos somehow managed to become friends with her, and 2 others who arent of any importance.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-10-08 05:48pm

Hmm, toss up you could be *Break up guy, or the guy she goes back to

Depends on how a few hundred thousand variables work out

If I where Wong I'd tell you to try and get some as soon as possible, but I'm not him so I say see how the situation deveples

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2002-10-08 05:53pm

Jadeite wrote:that I really, really, like.

That being, talk to her. Invite her out and watch closely how she reacts.

You'll never forgive yourself if one of your friends start dating her. She may feel for you, but will certainly not take the first step (after just being dumped, and all).

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 06:16pm

Jadeite wrote:ok, im in a bad situation here and need advice.

Theres a girl that im good friends with, that I really, really, like. She comes over 1-2 times a week and we just hang out, so I have plenty of opportunities to try something, but I dont. Until today, she had a boyfriend who was pretty much perfect for her, until he dumped her. Shes pretty depressed about the whole thing. I sorta had a chance with her before they went out, but didnt take it, and now its almost certainly diminished, there are several other people who also like her, and will prob move in. What should I do?

EDIT: The others who like her are: one of my best friends, who I know has a better chance, but he dosnt like decisions (hes said repeatedly he wouldnt mind if i went out with her, and vice versa), a short, annoying freshman whos somehow managed to become friends with her, and 2 others who arent of any importance.

Go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained! Just make sure you have a rubber.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2002-10-08 06:32pm

Next of Kin wrote:
Go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained! Just make sure you have a rubber.

Damn it! I keep saying this. A relationship is not mainly about sex. It's anout love and understanding. About having someone with who you can share everything.

It's about commitment. About mutual apreciation of one's thoughts and ideas.

Then, only then, it's about sex.

I've only had one sexual relationship without really loving the girl, and it was my first. I didn't enjoy the experiment very much. Yes, I did.

BUT IT IS WRONG

No, it's fun.

*having a discussion with my evil self, never mind*

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-10-08 06:59pm

Jadeite wrote:ok, im in a bad situation here and need advice.

Theres a girl that im good friends with, that I really, really, like. She comes over 1-2 times a week and we just hang out, so I have plenty of opportunities to try something, but I dont. Until today, she had a boyfriend who was pretty much perfect for her, until he dumped her. Shes pretty depressed about the whole thing. I sorta had a chance with her before they went out, but didnt take it, and now its almost certainly diminished, there are several other people who also like her, and will prob move in. What should I do?

EDIT: The others who like her are: one of my best friends, who I know has a better chance, but he dosnt like decisions (hes said repeatedly he wouldnt mind if i went out with her, and vice versa), a short, annoying freshman whos somehow managed to become friends with her, and 2 others who arent of any importance.

You call that a bad situation? Shit man, what you've got there's the equivalent of having a jackpot winning lottery ticket in your hands! Ask her out NOW, make that yesterday, but be nice about it though because she's likely to be having some emotional issues from the breakup. Help her thru this breakup depression of hers, be there as a person she can really trust and get herself attached to and you've got it made. Since you're already good friends you're already a step ahead of everyone else, you just have to make the move NOW before some scumbag moves in and gets her on the rebound.

Incidentally this is almost the exact same situation that led to me having my girlfriend to snuggle with. We'd been good friends throughout highschool, but she had a boyfriend at the time. He fucked things up during 1st year university and she dumped his ass around x-mas (joys of long distance relationships). I was visiting her during x-mas break when she told me about this, and I was able to become much closer to her, and when spring came around she was *my* girl. And we've been happily together now for almost 4 years.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2002-10-08 08:34pm

ok, ill ask her. should i do it ASAP? or wait a bit.

oh yeah, personal info:

me: physical description- short. straight brown hair, glasses, bluish green eyes, about 5' 6"-5'10" (dont remember), about 140 lbs. (i dont look bad, but nothing great) interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, science fiction, reading.

her: physical description- long, straight reddish hair, slightly taller than me, about 140-150 lbs, grey-blue eyes, extremely beautiful. interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, swimming (sorta)

ordinarily shed be completely out of my league, but theres that part about being good friends.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 08:39pm

Jadeite wrote:ok, ill ask her. should i do it ASAP? or wait a bit.

oh yeah, personal info:

me: physical description- short. straight brown hair, glasses, bluish green eyes, about 5' 6"-5'10" (dont remember), about 140 lbs. (i dont look bad, but nothing great) interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, science fiction, reading.

her: physical description- long, straight reddish hair, slightly taller than me, about 140-150 lbs, grey-blue eyes, nice ass, large breasts. interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, swimming (sorta)

ordinarily shed be completely out of my league, but theres that part about being good friends.

Don't delay. Give her a call. What do you have to lose?

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-08 08:43pm

Jadeite wrote:ok, ill ask her. should i do it ASAP? or wait a bit.

ASK! Every day you wait is a wasted one.

me: physical description- short. straight brown hair, glasses, bluish green eyes, about 5' 6"-5'10" (dont remember), about 140 lbs. (i dont look bad, but nothing great) interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, science fiction, reading.

Don't worry, man. If I'm reading right, You're not ugly. Just remember to focus on stuff you have in common.

her: physical description- long, straight reddish hair, slightly taller than me, about 140-150 lbs, grey-blue eyes, nice ass, large breasts. interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, swimming (sorta)

Easy on the physicals there! Trust me, it's not good to go after a girl right away. Just ask her out and keep things cool (But if she wants to go, dive in

)

ordinarily shed be completely out of my league, but theres that part about being good friends.

Trust me on this one too, sometimes a girl you think is totally our of you league might be in your reach. You just gotta have the guts to ask.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 08:49pm

IG-88E wrote:
Jadeite wrote:ok, ill ask her. should i do it ASAP? or wait a bit.
ASK! Every day you wait is a wasted one.

me: physical description- short. straight brown hair, glasses, bluish green eyes, about 5' 6"-5'10" (dont remember), about 140 lbs. (i dont look bad, but nothing great) interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, science fiction, reading.
Don't worry, man. If I'm reading right, You're not ugly. Just remember to focus on stuff you have in common.

her: physical description- long, straight reddish hair, slightly taller than me, about 140-150 lbs, grey-blue eyes, nice ass, large breasts. interests: roleplaying, computer/video games, swimming (sorta)
Easy on the physicals there! Trust me, it's not good to go after a girl right away. Just ask her out and keep things cool (But if she wants to go, dive in )

ordinarily shed be completely out of my league, but theres that part about being good friends.
Trust me on this one too, sometimes a girl you think is totally our of you league might be in your reach. You just gotta have the guts to ask.

Good advice IG-88E! Jadeite, just remember NOT to use any Beavis n' Butthead lines on her. No "Hey baby huh huh.."

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-08 08:52pm

Next of Kin wrote:Good advice IG-88E! Jadeite, just remember NOT to use any Beavis n' Butthead lines on her. No "Hey baby huh huh.."

I've had a lot of experience, both good and bad, on the dating scene. Yes, no jarhead humor, unless you say it in the context of a TASTEFUL joke.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2002-10-08 08:53pm

Some of the best poon always come from girls that have broken up...they are JUST BEGGING to be COMFORTED

So go ahead and do it.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-08 09:01pm

Remember the Drew Carey show?

"We are the date vultures... We prey on the carcasses of failed relationships..."
*woman breaks up with her boyfriend further up the bar*
"Caaaaww... Cawww..."

Date vulturing, though low, gets results.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 09:04pm

weemadando wrote:Remember the Drew Carey show?

"We are the date vultures... We prey on the carcasses of failed relationships..."
*woman breaks up with her boyfriend further up the bar*
"Caaaaww... Cawww..."

Date vulturing, though low, gets results.

I'd say date vulturing is acceptable. Just don't ever make the mistake of going after a married woman.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-08 09:05pm

Voice of experience, NoK?

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 09:09pm

IG-88E wrote:Voice of experience, NoK?

Unfortunately so. She was a co-worker of mine at the time..her husband was overseas, and I think you get idea.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-08 09:15pm

ouch...yeah, I get it.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 09:27pm

IG-88E wrote:ouch...yeah, I get it.

I guess you live and learn. Just look for the ring on her finger before you buy her a drink or start to flirt.

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-08 09:31pm

Next of Kin wrote:I guess you live and learn. Just look for the ring on her finger before you buy her a drink or start to flirt.

And plead ignorance if she ain't wearing a ring.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2002-10-08 10:06pm

hmmm, ok, now i just need a good time to ask her.

what do you guys think of this? i have study hall 1st period, she has biology, her class is going to the library, and i am 2 to work on a project. would that be a good opportunity?

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-10-08 10:08pm

Sounds like as good time as any.

Be strong, be brave, be confident.

Don't be cheesy.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2002-10-08 10:14pm

Jadeite wrote:hmmm, ok, now i just need a good time to ask her.

what do you guys think of this? i have study hall 1st period, she has biology, her class is going to the library, and i am 2 to work on a project. would that be a good opportunity?

Sounds like a great opportunity. Strut into the library like you own the place and make sure to hit on all the girls there (that'll make her jealous). Then proceed to ignore her

Sorry Jadeite, I couldn't resist. Do go into the library but be yourself and DONT do any of the above things!

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-10-08 10:17pm

Yes, be yourself and BE CONFIDANT! IOW, don't go in like the ladies man (you know what I mean) but do go up, smile, say hi, talk, and bring up asking her out.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-10-08 10:26pm

Your best bet is to be blunt, she already likes you on some level to be your friend. There is a possiblity that both of you are too nervous to ask each other out so go in there and say that you are nervous about asking her out and would like to take her out. Be your self, since she already knows who you are and just ask. Don't feel bad about picking her up on the rebound, all relationships are based on the timing of two people meeting and getting together just don't take advantage of her witch I'm sure you won't by reading your posts on it.
REACH DOWN GRAB AHOLD AND ASK, good luck.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2002-10-08 10:38pm

ok, I will. Thx for the advice guys. Can anyone recommend a good movie, in case she does say yes?

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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