50 Reasons why LOTR sucked

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2003-12-26 03:14am

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

I liked 5,7,25,38,44 and 46

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-12-26 03:29am

The Elves, clearly the most advanced and wise species, are also clearly gay.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2003-12-26 03:47am

I don't get number 4. Anyone help?

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2003-12-26 04:17am

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I don't get number 4. Anyone help?

It's a reference to the show Bewitched, where the main character of Darren was played by two different actors over the course of the show. The first actor died, and so they brought in a replacement.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2003-12-26 04:42am

I got that, I didn't understand the red hair/black hair part.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-12-26 05:20am

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I got that, I didn't understand the red hair/black hair part.

The only thing I could guess is that they didn't notice that there were two humans in the Fellowship, plus I think they thought Sean Bean's hair was reddish.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-12-26 09:30am

CaptainChewbacca wrote:I got that, I didn't understand the red hair/black hair part.

He thought Aragorn and Boromir were the same guy.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-12-26 01:10pm

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective fighters, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human. Apparently they made the beasts by crossing Orcs, Goblins and the French.

Golden!

ali-sama · Post by **ali-sama** » 2003-12-26 02:37pm

I've heard some students are even forced to read some novelization of the movie in their literature classes. Ridiculous. Does Hollywood run our classrooms now?

novelization of the movie?????? this guy is smoking crack.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-12-26 02:46pm

ali-sama wrote:
I've heard some students are even forced to read some novelization of the movie in their literature classes. Ridiculous. Does Hollywood run our classrooms now?
novelization of the movie?????? this guy is smoking crack.

um... its a joke...

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-12-26 03:24pm

And a good one at that.
Much laughter.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-12-26 03:47pm

I hope the guy isn't serious, otherwise, the human race is in serious trouble if someone that fucked up can live

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-12-26 04:37pm

People actually think this is serious?! Jesus shit on a stick, we need a sense of humor in here, stat!

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-12-26 06:04pm

Liv Tyler's immortal elf volunteers to give up her eternal life for a single romance with a human man. Could any man really be that well endowed? I find it unlikely.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-12-26 07:48pm

He missed another:

Strange facial hair:
Throughout all three movies Aragorn's Stubble remained the same, but as soon as he becomes king he gets a bushy beard!

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-12-26 08:49pm

2000AD wrote:He missed another:

Strange facial hair:
Throughout all three movies Aragorn's Stubble remained the same, but as soon as he becomes king he gets a bushy beard!

Really, could you accept him as a king with that thin, patchy beard? A king has to have strong facial hair!

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-12-26 08:57pm

2000AD wrote:He missed another:

Strange facial hair:
Throughout all three movies Aragorn's Stubble remained the same, but as soon as he becomes king he gets a bushy beard!

Day Six:
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing. Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-12-26 09:30pm

Heh, I think we've seen this before though.

Either way, still a good read.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-12-27 12:24am

Well this is actually from the first movie, methinks. It's like 3 or so years old.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-12-27 12:34am

Iceberg wrote: Day Six:
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing. Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.

Ahahahahaha! The FOTR journals! Those are classics!

LEGOLAS: Who do you have to blow around here to get ahold of some bleach?

GANDALF: The Balrog.

LEGOLAS: SO not worth it.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » 2003-12-27 02:38am

Every year somebody posts this, and every year it gets funnier.

I'll have to rent that one.

The rushed-through story the screenwriter threw in as the first ten minutes of Fellowship of the Ring looked a lot more interesting than the movie we were forced to watch. Why didn't somebody make a movie off that instead?

I forsee a Hobbit prequel in the making...
But what about a Silmarillion super-prequel?

D.Turtle · Post by **D.Turtle** » 2003-12-27 06:06am

Film the Silmarillion?

That would probably take more than 10 movies, each 3 hours long.

Supposedly PJ has said that he would like to make a 'The Hobbit' movie after he does his King Kong movie (or some other big bad monster movie).

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-27 07:45am

Yo Moon you could have warned us that the place was a Pop up hell....

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-12-27 07:48am

D.Turtle wrote:Film the Silmarillion?

That would probably take more than 10 movies, each 3 hours long.

Supposedly PJ has said that he would like to make a 'The Hobbit' movie after he does his King Kong movie (or some other big bad monster movie).

On the Jonathon Ross chat show on BBC1, Sir Ian Mckellan stated that the two film companies involved, New Line and 'I can't remember the name' were sorting out money and rights etc at the moment over a Hobbit film, and that all that was really left was to officially ask Peter Jackson to direct.

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2003-12-27 12:09pm

They should have had Bruce Campbell play Gandalf. That would've kicked ass.