FBI urges police to watch for people carrying almanacs

Burak Gazan · Post by **Burak Gazan** » 2003-12-29 08:07pm

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... =printable

Now, there's caution, and then there's utter paranoia......

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-12-29 08:09pm

Well, who carries almanacs in the first place?~Jason

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2003-12-29 08:14pm

that's going just a tad overboard. . . . .they may as well start searching people with Palms or GPS units.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-12-29 11:03pm

I better keep my Thomas Guide under neath the seat. Dont want the coppers seeing in my car. I might be using it to locate airfields.

Now, to be serious, I dont think its all that bad to take a second look at some guy with an atlas/almanac with lots of stickies on it, sitting on the side of the road with a pair of binoculars.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-12-29 11:20pm

In related news, gas-station clerks are on the lookout for anyone who might come in looking for maps.

"Since a terrorist would logically need a map in order to find things, maps become critical terrorist planning aids." Officer Brad Murphy explained. "This is why we need to detain, question, strip-search, publicly accuse, and basically ruin the life of any man who attempts to purchase a road map."

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-12-29 11:29pm

In other news, police are told to be on the lookout for black people, Arab people, people with beards, people without alcohol, and people with thirty or forty pounds of dynamite strapped to their chest.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-12-30 12:50am

The stupidity of my species never ceases to amaze and horrify me.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-12-30 12:54am

The FBI is now issuing warnings that people who breath my be terrorists. Keep a shard eye out, and don't breath or else you might be locked up as an enemy combatant.

At least that way we'll get rid of people who take these warnings seriously.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-12-30 01:19am

I think we should customize Carnivore or whatever its called to simply scan the IP address of anyone who uses Yahoo to get directions to the airport. They obviously are trying to hide from the coppers.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-12-30 03:15am

Praytell, how does an almanac aid the would-be terrorist?

Since I can't lower my brain functions to that of the FBI...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-12-30 03:19am

EmperorMing wrote:Praytell, how does an almanac aid the would-be terrorist?

Since I can't lower my brain functions to that of the FBI...

According to the FBI, "the popular reference books covering everything from abbreviations to weather trends could be used for terrorist planning."

Perhaps they should also have stationery store clerks watch out for people buying pens and pencils, because pens and pencils could be used to sketch out plans for terrorist attacks.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-12-30 07:05am

Darth Wong wrote:
EmperorMing wrote:Praytell, how does an almanac aid the would-be terrorist?

Since I can't lower my brain functions to that of the FBI...
According to the FBI, "the popular reference books covering everything from abbreviations to weather trends could be used for terrorist planning."

In that case, expect the Fodor's Guides and anything published by Rand McNally to wind up on the suspect list.

The War on Terror is now passing officially into the realm of lunacy.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-12-30 07:43am

a typical case of

ALMANAPHOBIA!!!

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2003-12-30 03:22pm

Almanacs are up there with fresh fruit in terms of usefulness to terrorists... all the information you find in an almanac can be acquired from dozens of other sources.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-12-30 04:37pm

The Aliens wrote:Almanacs are up there with fresh fruit in terms of usefulness to terrorists... all the information you find in an almanac can be acquired from dozens of other sources.

And each of those additional sources will wind up on the suspect list in due course.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-12-30 04:54pm

Patrick Degan wrote:
The Aliens wrote:Almanacs are up there with fresh fruit in terms of usefulness to terrorists... all the information you find in an almanac can be acquired from dozens of other sources.
And each of those additional sources will wind up on the suspect list in due course.

Yes. Eventually reading at all (other than government-approved things)will be a crime. Welcome to 1984.

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2003-12-30 04:56pm

Just wait 'till the government cracks down on the Encyclopaedia Britannica... mind you those things really can be used as weapons, and is not the sort of thing you carry around in your car.

And who knows how many people the government would drag off for being terrorists if they ever came here

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2003-12-30 05:47pm

Just wait until reading is considered possibly dangerous and unpatriotic... After all, most terrorists gather information by reading

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-12-30 05:52pm

Dahak wrote:Just wait until reading is considered possibly dangerous and unpatriotic... After all, most terrorists gather information by reading

*points at previous post*

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-12-31 12:18am

Darth Wong wrote: Snip

You know, there are far worse scenarios that do not involve the use of an almanac for this type of activity...

Geez!! And my tax dollars go to this?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-12-31 03:42am

Because, as we all know, you can plan a devastating terrorist attack by knowing what the real names of 20 famous people were, especially if you also know how many miles of road Uganda has.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-12-31 04:04am

They forget that Almanacs can be really useful in the CAPTURE of terrorists and criminals? Go ask Carmen Sandiego if you don't believe me.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-12-31 01:47pm

This should send a message to all Almanac publishers that America will not tolerate the perpetuation of their unpatriotic, terrorist filth in the marketplace. God bless America.

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2003-12-31 04:53pm

Is this accurate? I can't see the logic behind the FBI posting such a warning, it's like closing your eyes being spun around and then being told to hit a target with

There must be something more to it.

Burak Gazan · Post by **Burak Gazan** » 2003-12-31 05:36pm

Durandal wrote:This should send a message to all Almanac publishers that America will not tolerate the perpetuation of their unpatriotic, terrorist filth in the marketplace. God bless America.

This should send a message that some of those responsible for inteligence and security matters have drifted off into la la land

This is like trying to classify the laws of physics