Lessons learnt from computer games

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-12-29 05:37pm

Cruisers, Battleships, and Carriers are just bigger targets for your unlimited guns.(Many Sci-Fi flight sims).

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-29 05:59pm

While on a patrol for pirates/recon mission
Getting jumped by three warships each with twice your guns, and twice your armour and shields. Will get you court martialed if your run like hell. If you loose 90% of your crew, blast one ship with your entire missile volley, and attack and invade a neutral nation's starport, for resupply/repair Impress their civilians as replacement crew and use them to capture as prizes one of the other Heavy's, and destroy the third. You get the Medel of Honor-Battlecruiser <Not 3000, the Original>

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2003-12-30 05:44am

When a ship lose all its *crew*, it will always blow-up in a violent explosion.

(Star Control series)

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-12-30 06:17am

A backpack has enough space for exactly 21 objects, regardless of whether those objects be scraps of paper, rings, or stacks of 99 heavy lances. -Angband

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2003-12-30 06:39am

1. The only difference between professional security at the CIA and hired Russian mafia thugs is the weapons they carry.

2. If a man doesn't see you and you smack him with an elbow, he'll go down immediately. If he sees you and aimed his gun at you, a hit on the face will not even throw him off balance. A second smack, though, will instantly drop him.

3. Concordantly, an NSA superagent doesn't know any other ways of HtH fighting other than a smack with the elbow

4. Therefore, it is impossible for him to smack a Kalasznikov aside and kick a guy in the nuts.

5. No matter what comms gear a security force is carrying, Control will NEVER check if the guards are at their posts.

6. If an elite special forces trooper sees a suspicious camera stuck to the wall of a presidential palace, he will look around crossly instead of raising the alarm.

7. Despite carrying 7.62x39 rifles or 9mm submachine guns, the terrorists or security people will always leave conveniently placed NATO 5.56mm ammo and FN SS-190 5.72mm rounds in neat boxes, so that you can replenish your ammo supply.

8. SIGINT ninjas will carry a lot of surplus beltbags and will be physically incapable of carrying more than one spare magazine for their rifle in them.

9. You can ocuppy an office building of a large company for extended periods of time using a lot of Russian Mafia thugs with automatic weapons, and no one will notice.

10. Superagents are physically incapable of hitting a guy twice in rapid succession. Must be something in their fancy Nomex ninja outfits.

11. Said superagents are also physically incapable of shooting accurately while slowly crawling forward.

12. On the other hand, hired thugs can unload 15 round on full auto right into your head.

13. SS-190 armor penetrating bullets can't pierce helmets, even if you unload an entire magazine into one.

14. 9mm submachine guns rounds on the other hand, have no problem going right through your body armor

15. You can take multiple hits, and all you gotta do to stay spiffy is to use a medkit you just stole from a bathroom wall.

16. A pistol shot to the face instantly drops an enemy. A pistol shot to the groin doesn't even bother him.

17. If a palace guard sees a giant fucking candelabre go out, lightbulb after lightbulb, he will walk right into the shadow trying to figure out what happened, and won't even call in what happened.

18. If his buddy doesn't walk OUT of the shadow, the OTHER palace guard will just keep standing there.

19. Night-vision goggles wearing elite commandos will get startled by a blackout.

20. Human shields don't work. The enemy will hit you anyway, and won't even scratch his buddy that you're holding, despite spraying fully automatic fire in your general direction.

21. Spotlights apparently have a mind of their own. Even if there's no one to attend it, after a spotlight nails you, it will sound an alarm all by itself.

22. Did I mention spotlights are bulletproof?

23. Guards can remember whether lights should be on or off behind a door that was closed during their patrol, but they forget about ever seeing an intruder after he stays in the shadow for a few seconds.

24. When someone keeps turning off the said light, the guards will come and turn it on every time, without getting the least bit suspicious.

Game: Splinter Cell

I'd think of more, but it would be a waste of time...

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2003-12-30 12:15pm

Raxmei wrote:A backpack has enough space for exactly 21 objects, regardless of whether those objects be scraps of paper, rings, or stacks of 99 heavy lances. -Angband

Reminds me of Ultima series, when you can squeeze things like *halberd* into your backpack. Heck, in Ultima 6, you can even put a cannon into your backpack.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2003-12-30 12:23pm

- When you get attacked, music starts playing in the background.

- Music is usually playing in the background, anyway.

- You NEVER need to go to the bathroom. Most of the time you don't have to eat or sleep regularly, either.

- The next town over always has better stuff. It's more expensive, too.

- When you kill enemies, money pours out of them. That's how you pay for the better, more expensive stuff that you find in the next town. Conveniently, the more expensive the stuff in the next town, the more money pours out of your enemy.

-Talking to random people will either give you valuable clues as to something you need to do or net you free items.

-You can carry EVERYTHING with you; there are no weight limitations. Even if you don't have a backpack or a chest. However, many times you are limited to 99 of each item.

- If you can wear it that type of armor, it fits you. It doesn't matter if you switch armor from a giant beefy guy to a petite 9-year-old girl; if they can both wear that armor it will fit.

General RPG stuff

PeZook · Post by **PeZook** » 2003-12-30 12:33pm

Mayabird wrote: - If you can wear it that type of armor, it fits you. It doesn't matter if you switch armor from a giant beefy guy to a petite 9-year-old girl; if they can both wear that armor it will fit.

General RPG stuff

Ha, in Arcanum you've got different armor sizes for different people.

You can't fit a dwarf in armor you've just took from a half-ogre

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-12-30 01:19pm

- Guns work best when held just below and to the side of your face
- Reloading any weapon only takes 2 seconds and can be accomplished by diping it out of your field of vision
- Perfect Bots can aim and lose headshots in .00001 seconds while popping out from behind a corner

(Goldeneye/Perfect Dark)

SylasGaunt · Post by **SylasGaunt** » 2003-12-30 02:45pm

Vympel wrote:A Jedi Guardian can *miss* hitting a door you're trying to bash open- Knights of the Old Republic (fuck what a mad game, I've been playing it obsessively since I got it last week, but the above PISSES ME OFF).

Yeah.. the hazards of a system based on a PnP RPG.. another funny is when your expert marksman takes a shot and the blaster bolt goes a good ways off axis and smacks into the floor about two feet downrange

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-12-30 08:19pm

Swords made from gold are unbreakable. A Link to the Past; Majora's Mask.
When swinging with your left arm, you can't shoot from your right, even though your gun is on your right arm. Metroid Prime.
Spinning wildly is the best way to win a race. F-Zero X; F-Zero GX; Kirby's Air Ride.
You can't kill yourself with your own weapon, even if the blade--which kills enemies by simply touching them--passes through you. Jedi Outcast.
Striking a rock with a well-made sword won't shatter the rock, but picking it up and dropping it will. Zelda
Chickens don't die; instead they summon a flock of chickens out of nowhere to kill you. A Link to the Past; Ocarina of Time; Majora's Mask.
When you die, your outfit explodes away from your body, revealing you to be an attractive blonde. Super Metroid; Metroid Fusion.
A kick to the shin can and will kill a person. various fighting games.
Frozen enemies can be used as platforms to reach the next door. Possibly every Metroid game except Metroid Prime.
Bombing doesn't do shit to cities, while killing off the troops you have stationed in the middle of it. Advance Wars; Advance Wars 2.
When I need to block an attack, a bubble appears from nowhere to protect me, and the bubble is always red, blue, green, yellow, or grey. Super Smash Bros; Super Smash Bros. Melee.
Being caught in one of my bomb's explosions will not damage my ship in any way, but will instead slow the world down. Rogue Leader.

That's all I can think of right now.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-31 05:09am

obviously in advance wars they are using neutron bombs....

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2003-12-31 05:31am

Federation starships are the size of small moons. (Star Trek Armada)

Even if you can see the enemy with naked eyes you cant shoot them if sensors are down (Star Trek Bridge Commander)

A 120m long Bird of Prey is more powerful than a 1200m long Warbird (Star Trek Bridge Commander)

Fighters have shields but captital ships dont. (Freelancer)

A battleship has less subsystems than a fighter (Freelancer)

Your shield would recharge but NPC ships shields wont. (Freelancer)

In 800 years technology actualy regressed. (Compare Starlancer with Freelancer)

In 800 years the Alliance became a nation of fedual hippies in space (Comapre Starlancer with Freelancer)

Sirus is the name of a galaxy not a Star ! (Freelancer)

Alliance fighters can travel faster than lightspeed using jumo drives or instantaeously using experiental warp technology yet took 200 years to cover 8 light years. (Freelancer and Starlancer)

A 100 ton Battletech will have 15 tons of armour. (Mechwarrior4)

Minute variations in temparature such as a desert compared to a forest can drasticaly affect fusion reactors operatiog at temperatures found in cores of stars. (All Mechwarrior games)

A weapon that fires 5 kg slugs is called a machinegun. (All Mechwarrior games)

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-31 05:41am

lizard corpses never rot
eating a ghost's pet dog when you are starving can turn you into a werewolf.
kill everything that you meet (EXCEPT SHOPKEEPERS)
Shopkeepers do not like it if you bring a pick into their store

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-12-31 09:47am

Standing near green minerals for too long causes you to mutate into a slug (C&C Tiberian Sun)

The police and army in every country are armed with exactly the same model of weaponary (Deus Ex)

All hookers look the same and have the same voice (Kingpin: Life Of Crime)

Nuclear missiles have no fallout (Star Craft)

Dark Jedi all wear the same clothes and have the same voice (Jedi Knight Outcast/Jedi Accademy)

Shooting a Mech's kneecap off will destroy it (Mech Warrior)

All civilisations have the same tech and warriors except for one special unit (Age of Empires/Star Wars Galatic Battle Grounds)

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-12-31 09:57am

The more powerful the move, the more time it takes in order to pull it off.
Most fighting games, in general.

~ver

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-12-31 11:09am

Throwing you hands forward while shouting something that sounds like "Oh you shit" makes a fire ball emerge from your hands - Street Fighter 2

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-31 11:46pm

the computer cheats as always.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-31 11:47pm

Oh yeah and greeks with pointy sticks can take out tanks, bombers even battleships firing off shore Civ I & II

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-01-01 01:25am

Lord Pounder wrote:Throwing you hands forward while shouting something that sounds like "Oh you shit" makes a fire ball emerge from your hands - Street Fighter 2

That's "Hadouken", and it sounds nothing like that, you HEATHEN!

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-01-01 12:49pm

Stone of Jordan is an actual currency.

Even if you aren't strong enough to equip yourself with an armour piece(say breastplate), you're strong enough to lug it around in your stash.

Never piss off a Rogue with Immolation, Guided Arrow and always piercing Bow.

Mephisto, the eldest brother of the Three Prime Evils, is vulnerable to you firing guided arrow off-screen, his two younger brothers Baal and Diablo aren't.

Do not play online with a Necromancer.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2004-01-01 07:36pm

PainRack wrote:Mephisto, the eldest brother of the Three Prime Evils, is vulnerable to you firing guided arrow off-screen, his two younger brothers Baal and Diablo aren't.

Did they ever fix Mephisto's AI? I remeber that to beat him all you had to do was stand on the opposide side of that little water thing and throw stuff at him.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-01-01 08:11pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Lord Pounder wrote:Throwing you hands forward while shouting something that sounds like "Oh you shit" makes a fire ball emerge from your hands - Street Fighter 2
That's "Hadouken", and it sounds nothing like that, you HEATHEN!

IIRC, teh Hadouken isn't the only fireball attack in the game.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-01-01 08:53pm

Darth Yoshi wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Lord Pounder wrote:Throwing you hands forward while shouting something that sounds like "Oh you shit" makes a fire ball emerge from your hands - Street Fighter 2
That's "Hadouken", and it sounds nothing like that, you HEATHEN!
IIRC, teh Hadouken isn't the only fireball attack in the game.

It's the one that he's describing, though.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-01-01 09:04pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Darth Yoshi wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote: That's "Hadouken", and it sounds nothing like that, you HEATHEN!
IIRC, teh Hadouken isn't the only fireball attack in the game.
It's the one that he's describing, though.

I'd hope so...given Guile closer Son aboom.

Though I will give Pounder this...the voices were never clear and during the olden days we had the most fucked up names for the moves.