Lessons learnt from computer games

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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

even though Mortal Kombat, and Soul Caliber claim there is no rules just winning. No one ever brings a gun to a tournment....

not even for a finishing move (hey, I could see Sonja, Kano, Jax, and a few of the SC types doing it....)
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by Darth Yoshi »

Striker, I think his name was, in MK3 pulls out gun and squeezes off a few shots when he wins a match. But you're right.
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Post by Anarchist Bunny »

Darth Yoshi wrote:Striker, I think his name was, in MK3 pulls out gun and squeezes off a few shots when he wins a match. But you're right.
He also uses grenades IIRC.

Worst MK character ever.
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Post by Anarchist Bunny »

You can carry 1530 grenades on you at one time, but you can't carry 7 keys. - Resident Evil

Luigi is gay. - Super Smash Bros. Melee(just pause the game doing most moves, most notably his dash attack, down A, and third attack in AAA, and look at him, especially in his pink suit)

A tow cable that can go around the legs of an AT-AT three times, can only carry a bomb a few feet below you. - Rebel Strike
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Post by Pu-239 »

Scrap magically appears in a debris field when you look away and back (very useful for making money hehe- then use money to buy orbital nukes)- Battlecruise 3000AD.

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Post by Lord Pounder »

Bodies dissapear if you leave the room and come back in. - Most games.
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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

Another set! This time, courtesy of C&C: Generals:

1. WWII-tech tanks can actually stand up to modern armor, if deployed in quantity. Also, cobbled-together missiles you can slap on said WWII tanks guide in with 100% efficiency and can do significant damage to an american MBT.

2. Flashbangs kill people better than tank guns

3. Said flashbangs can kill everybody in a fortified building with one blast.

4. If you inhale antrax spores, you will turn blue and die immediately.

5. Sometimes you will turn green and die immediately

6. Shoulder-launched Stinger missiles have a chance in hell of intercepting sub-orbital bombers.

7. They do, because said bombers really only fly 30 feet off the ground. The same goes for B-52s, which can be easily brought down by manually-aimed quad cannons mounted on an old half-track.

8. The only way an F-22 can avoid stingers is to fly real straight, real fast.

9. Air bases can only house four airplanes, but an unlimited number of helicopters.

10. Aircraft use no fuel.

11. A 5.56x45mm burst fired from an M-16 will wound a man slightly. A single 7.62x51 round fired from a sniper rifle will kill a man imemdiately.

12. Jerman Kal's rifle uses similar rules, only it shoots exactly the same bullets as the Rebel's Kalasznikov

13. You can kill an entire tank crew with a well-aimed sniper rifle shot.

14. If an F-22 pilot ejects, he can hop into a tank and use his experience to aid it's crew in battle. However, don't think he'll be able to drive a fighter anymore.

15. Tank drivers wear oxygen masks and flight suits

16. Despite them having flooded several villagges they were supposed to rescue, killing the ambassador who was ready to negotiate with them, slaughtering civilians, stealing UN aid and generally treating their recruitment base like shit, people still follow the GLA.

17. Until the USA destroys a city the GLA controls, after which everything is cool again and people are dancing on the streets.

18. The USA doesn't need to deal with public opinion aver wiping out several ancient minarrets and killing tons of civvies in order to get one sniper.

19. A-10s can't hunt tanks, they can only kill them if they happen to be in an area designated for attack

20. The USA doesn't have any direct-fire artillery, short for battleship guns.

21. While US Rangers can fast-rope into buildings and on the streets, a pumped-up serial-killer commando (col. Burton) can't.

22. The Chinese build their missile silos to look like Pagodas.

23. Angry Mobs will remain anrgy even after standing in the same place for two hours doing nothing.

24. Gatling guns will only spin with their fastest speed (and thus rate of fire) after firing no faster than a simple machine gun for a long while.

25. After shooting long enough, gatling tanks can kill MBTs

26. You can hack primitive stone huts and take them over. You can also disable manually-driven vehicles this way, thus indicating that even the GLA connects their stuff to the Internet.

27. Nigerian scams and credit-card frauds are really the work of Chinese hackers working from a warzone somewhere to provide cash for their commanders to buy new toys.

28. The GLA actually thinks fortifying themselves with big stone walls is an effective tactic (last US mission)

29. "Providing security" for a parade means watching troops march down the road through your command interface (first Chinese mission).

30. Toxin tractors are effective against main battle tanks

31. China has no helicopters or special forces

32. China also has no navy
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Post by haas mark »

Grizzlies and pandas are viable opponents and are cognizant and aware of corporate structure and will fight in a tournament to win said corporation
--Tekken series

Robots can use the fighting form of any random player in the game to kick your ass
--Tekken series

Said robots are cognizant and aware of corporate structure and will fight in a tournament to win said corporation
Tekken series

A fight will last no more than 60 seconds
--Most fighting games in general

Cryogenics are possible, but cause amnesia
--Tekken series

~ver
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Post by RogueIce »

GTA III and GTA: VC (PS2 version at least):

Tanks are built with doors in the side.

No car door will be able to be locked. Ever.

You can carry all sorts of weapons and implements of mayhem, but they will be invisible unless you're actually using them.

Random twitching around, changing of weapons, punching, kicking, and occasional weapons discharge can cause you to gain life, have armor magically appear on your person/repair it, give you weaponry/reload said weaponry, cause tanks and other vehicles to drop from the sky, and various other wierd things (like giving random passerby weapons, causing riots, etc.)
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Post by PeZook »

RogueIce wrote: No car door will be able to be locked. Ever.
Incorrect. The cops lock their car doors :)
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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Fallout:

attacking someone with ammo in your equipped items will give you an infinate number of actions per turn.

Igana on a stick is made from people!

Red Ryder LE BB guns will kill a deathclaw faster then a flame thrower or rocket launcher.

A dog can do more damage to a robot then a guy with a seriously big hand cannon, and 200% chance to hit.
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by RogueIce »

PeZook wrote:
RogueIce wrote: No car door will be able to be locked. Ever.
Incorrect. The cops lock their car doors :)
Really? I remember yanking one out once...

Oh well, another addition:

Cops shoot on sight, or just try to beat the shit out of you.
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"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
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Post by Symmetry »

PeZook wrote:Another set! This time, courtesy of C&C: Generals:

1. WWII-tech tanks can actually stand up to modern armor, if deployed in quantity. Also, cobbled-together missiles you can slap on said WWII tanks guide in with 100% efficiency and can do significant damage to an american MBT.
...
32. China also has no navy
33. A strafeing from an A-10 does more damage than a direct hit with a tac nuke.

34. As above, but with three A-10s and a big strategic nuke.

35. Even though their main gun is horribly ineffective against infantry, a tank will never use its machine guns.

36. A tanks also don't have any weapons they can use to fire at airborn vehicles, even if they have lasers for shooting down missiles.

37. Stealth fighters are invisible to the naked eye, unless said eyes belong to people sitting in a sandbagged implacement.

38. You can't enter a tunnel built by the enemy.
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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

your allies don't mind if you steal from them and will never notice it. even if you plant live explosives on them....
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by Spyder »

Popular techniques for killing the President of the USA include carefully placing a large bundle of dynamite with attached timer in his pocket.

Fallout 2.
:D
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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

there are very few problems that large quanities of dynamite can't solve. (waasteland, Fallout & Fallout 2)

Red Ryder BB-Guns do more damage then assult rifles, and are more accurate for making critical strikes.
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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PeZook
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Post by PeZook »

Symmetry wrote:35. Even though their main gun is horribly ineffective against infantry, a tank will never use its machine guns.
It's not like it won't USE them - it's just that a tank apparently needs a hi-tech laser to kill infantry (and it doesn't work very good, either :) )
Symmetry wrote:37. Stealth fighters are invisible to the naked eye, unless said eyes belong to people sitting in a sandbagged implacement.
Forgot about this. And remember, in order to detect cloaked units China and the USA need extremely complicated sensors or ultra-well trained Marine sharpshooters, but the GLA can do the same with a cobbled-together radar truck or a bunch of guys wearing towels on their heads hiding behind sandbags :)
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The Yosemite Bear
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

doing over a hundred hp of damage to the right arm of a super mutant with 190 hp will not reduce his combat effectiveness what so ever....
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The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
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Post by Bob McDob »

Eating berries lets you eat ghosts. (Pac-Man)

Coffee gives you superpowers (Garfield)

Alchohol makes you sexier. (SimGirl)
That's the wrong way to tickle Mary, that's the wrong way to kiss!
Don't you know that, over here lad, they like it best like this!
Hooray, pour les français! Farewell, Angleterre!
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Post by Mayabird »

-Black holes are magical areas of super bonuses that exist inside solar systems. (Star Fox)

-Without having food or hope and having only a semi-breathable atmosphere, humans can survive in broken-down ruins for three hundred years. (Chrono Trigger)

-A giant evil alien caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. (Chrono Trigger)

-Walking into a building makes time stop. (Harvest Moon 64)

-If left alone for decades, elves revert to speaking pig Latin. (Harvest Moon 64)

-Goddesses take weekends and holidays off and can only be reached during normal business hours. (Harvest Moon 64)
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Post by Ironbeard »

Medieval:Total War
Royal blood confers combat abilities sufficient to take out hundreds of troops single-handed

Troop ships can sail from the Black Sea to the Baltic instantly, even though the fastest armed vessel takes years

A single galley can impose an impassable blockade

Claiming to be the lost heir of an extinct lineage will draw thousands of soldiers to your cause, even ones whose equipment is beyond local production capabilities.
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