Hollywood hits a new low

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-01-05 02:41am

According to an article on CHUD.com, there is a plan for a... brace yourselves... SLINKY MOVIE.

Yes, you heard right. A feature-length movie based around the Slinky. As in, the main character is a Slinky.

I weep. I weep.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2004-01-05 02:43am

..........

Old news. They had some survivor movie out, and it tanked. Maybe this new slinky movie will tank too if it goes the way I think it will go.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-01-05 03:30am

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-01-05 03:56am

I'm sure people said the same thing about a film with a farmboy and an old man going up against a guy in a black costume with breathing problems.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-01-05 04:28am

So now what, it's the Enchanted Slinky? Goes down stairs faster than ever before, and can go up stairs too? Slices, dices, and chops faster than Emeril Lagasse on tumeric? Makes your coffee and fetches the morning paper? Saves the universe in a single day?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-01-05 04:36am

Obviously large amounts of crack was involved in this decision.

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2004-01-05 06:07am

DPDarkPrimus wrote:A feature-length movie based around the Slinky. As in, the main character is a Slinky.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: A film based around a character who uses a Slinky as a weapon would be pretty cool though. Or have I just been watching too much Sukeban Deka?

[Don't post long strings like that. It messes up the formatting. ~ Stormbringer]

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-01-05 07:30am

sounds a lot better than the new Fox show "My big fat obnoxious Fiance" where a hot rich woman has to convince her family through an engagement, and wedding ceremony that some fat obnoxious rude asshole is really her fiance so she can win $1,000,000

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-01-05 08:14am

what's wrong with that? Toy Story, anyone? I bet people also thought JAy-Jay the Jet plane was stupid, too (It is) and would tank (I wish it would) but it's very popular (Stupid Kids) and comes on every day here in J'ville on my beloved PBS (I sleep with PBS on). and wakes me up...

the sun is rising high up over Terry Town
Friends taking off and friends touching down
so buckle up tight it's a magical Fa-light
with Jay-Jay
Ja-jaaaaaaay
Jay-Jay the jet plane "THAT'S ME!"

KILL ME!! PLEASE! I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!! I HAVE A FEAR OF FLYING NOW! I WANT TO BREAK MY TV!!! JAY JAY THE JET PLANE IS THE REASON I DON'T DONATE TO PBS!!! AAAAAUGH!!!!!!

*Runs away screaming*

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-01-05 09:31am

Must be a joke they can`t actualy make a movie around something as silly as a slinky.....and if its no joke

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2004-01-05 09:34am

WHat on earth is a slinky???

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-01-05 09:39am

Dahak wrote:WHat on earth is a slinky???

Just google for it.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-01-05 11:46am

How big a budget is this thing going to have?

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2004-01-05 02:22pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:According to an article on CHUD.com, there is a plan for a... brace yourselves... SLINKY MOVIE.

Yes, you heard right. A feature-length movie based around the Slinky. As in, the main character is a Slinky.

I weep. I weep.

That's hardly a new low. Dumb, but hardly a new low for Hollywood. A new low would be making a snuff-film reality movie or something. Like who doesn't want to get fed to the cannibal or something.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-01-05 02:42pm

This is what it's about:

"We are creating a completely imaginary, full world all based on the Slinky," says the film's director Henrique Vera-Villanueva. "The main character is a big Indiana Jones-type Slinky."

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-01-05 03:02pm

Channel 4 has gone one better.

Tonight and for the next week, there will be an hour long show showing the last 24 hours of what several contestants have done in a special studio in a, wait for it, staying awake contest.

The show: Shattered. The prize: £100k. The goal: To stay awake for 7 days straight whilst enduring such obstacles as driving around in a limo with the heating on full and general comprehension tests.

A doctor from my uni wrote into the national paper I get to complain about how fucking sad this is and enquire as to when trying to stay awake for a week was reality TV.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-01-05 03:06pm

Ver should enter that show. He'd walk it.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-01-05 03:09pm

Lord Pounder wrote:Ver should enter that show. He'd walk it.

Agreed, but I'd have to take some heavy sleeping pills to stop myself from beating the stupid out of the company execs who thought this show up and somehow sold it to C4.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-01-05 03:15pm

Those companies have execs? Shit i though they just got a couple of Snue Gliffers to rattle off ideas. This my friends is why i only watch Scuzz TV and Kerrang!

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-01-05 03:19pm

TV died a long time ago, I only watch it if I feel the need to lose faith in humanity again.

The Net is the new TV. Sky Digital? Pah. 500 channels of pure shit pretty much 24/7.

And as for this slinky movie, was this not going to be about the slinky dog in Toy Story? Though given the VA for Slinky died some time ago, it could be hard to do.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-01-05 04:02pm

No, they're creating a world based on the slinky.

Lt. Dan · Post by **Lt. Dan** » 2004-01-05 04:11pm

Chardok wrote:what's wrong with that? Toy Story, anyone? I bet people also thought JAy-Jay the Jet plane was stupid, too (It is) and would tank (I wish it would) but it's very popular (Stupid Kids) and comes on every day here in J'ville on my beloved PBS (I sleep with PBS on). and wakes me up...

the sun is rising high up over Terry Town
Friends taking off and friends touching down
so buckle up tight it's a magical Fa-light
with Jay-Jay
Ja-jaaaaaaay
Jay-Jay the jet plane "THAT'S ME!"

KILL ME!! PLEASE! I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!! I HAVE A FEAR OF FLYING NOW! I WANT TO BREAK MY TV!!! JAY JAY THE JET PLANE IS THE REASON I DON'T DONATE TO PBS!!! AAAAAUGH!!!!!!

*Runs away screaming*

(I think I should get 'em a Jay-Jay the jet plane toy for their birthday.)

I don't get the movie...

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2004-01-05 04:33pm

No doubt they'll hype it up like they did with the Matrix sequels....

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-01-05 04:34pm

I'm sure a movie like that would have a great moral: Don't smoke crack and then think up of movies.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-01-05 05:59pm

Jay-Jay the jetplane bows before Budgie the little helicopter and Jimbo.

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