Help me cover my ass, por favor.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-01-13 04:14pm

For recordings, I thought you only needed consent from one person. So for example, a guy wearing a wire is consenting to the recording and it doesn't matter if anyone else in the conversation consents (or even knows about) the wire.

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Kinda on what Batman said: Its still possible there is interaction "off-tape". If the kid really wanted to, he'd say the assault occurred "of-tape" and the fact that she recorded his sessions could show that she had a bizarre fascination with him. Zaia is the one in control of the taping process, it would be a given that she wouldn't present any tape that showed her guilt. The best you could hope for is getting him in a contradiction.

I personally wouldn't worry unless he's acting obsessively, like for example, trying to spend extra time with Zaia, scheduling more than a normal amount of sessions, focusing on Zaia rather than music, etc.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-13 04:19pm

Zoink wrote:I personally wouldn't worry unless he's acting obsessively, like for example, trying to spend extra time with Zaia, scheduling more than a normal amount of sessions, focusing on Zaia rather than music, etc.

He's not like that at all. He just follows me around like a puppy dog when I show up at school (I'm good friends with the band director there, and I come by during and after school sometimes to help him out), and he usually touches me on the arm or shoulder when he talks to me (which I've tried to get him not to do). But nothing obsessive.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » 2004-01-13 04:27pm

Zoink wrote:For recordings, I thought you only needed consent from one person. So for example, a guy wearing a wire is consenting to the recording and it doesn't matter if anyone else in the conversation consents (or even knows about) the wire.

I have no clue about the legal situation, which is why I raised the question in the first place.
About the wired person, I don't think that's precedent. If the cops send someone into a conversation wired, the other conversants are already targets of a criminal investigation, which means there's either a court order saying they CAN be taped without consent, or there's no need for one in the first place because as suspects they no longer have the right not to be.
Neither, IMHO, is the case in Zaia's situation.
Can somebody provide clarification, because this threatens to drift off-topic here?

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2004-01-13 04:29pm

zaia, i think that in order for us to judge how much of problem this is, we need to see a picture of you... that way...

oh nm.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, tell some colleagues so they know the situation and leave it at that unless he starts acting overly obsessivly around you.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2004-01-13 04:31pm

Batman wrote: Can somebody provide clarification, because this threatens to drift off-topic here?

all i know is that for my english language coursework (which involved recording conversations) i had to legally get permission of everybody i was recording.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-01-13 04:34pm

Zaia wrote:He's not like that at all. He just follows me around like a puppy dog when I show up at school (I'm good friends with the band director there, and I come by during and after school sometimes to help him out), and he usually touches me on the arm or shoulder when he talks to me (which I've tried to get him not to do). But nothing obsessive.

I would say that is cause for considerable concern.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2004-01-13 04:37pm

I would agree with Howedar on this, it may not seem like much, but if it is a serious crush and he wont stop doing it and thinks that you're allowing it, then it might make him see things that arent there - hence trouble ensues. Not that I know what to do about it, mind you...

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2004-01-13 04:40pm

Zaia wrote: and he usually touches me on the arm or shoulder when he talks to me (which I've tried to get him not to do)

Have him arrested and sent to prison for sexual harrasment. Remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others before they do unto you."

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-13 04:41pm

Andrew J. wrote:Have him arrested and sent to prison for sexual harrasment. Remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others before they do unto you."

LOL--Thanks for the help, AJ.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-13 04:54pm

Andrew J. wrote:
Zaia wrote: and he usually touches me on the arm or shoulder when he talks to me (which I've tried to get him not to do)
Have him arrested and sent to prison for sexual harrasment. Remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others before they do unto you."

Actually, it's "do one to others before they do one to you."

Batman · Post by **Batman** » 2004-01-13 05:05pm

Demiurge wrote: Actually, it's "do one to others before they do one to you."

That depends entirely what version of the Golden Rule you're working with...

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-01-13 05:08pm

And remember people no pic of Zaia(aside from one rare time long ago) until he gives a smooching pic.

And Z...he might think of it in different terms then you do.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » 2004-01-13 05:21pm

Ghost Rider wrote:And remember people no pic of Zaia(aside from one rare time long ago) until he gives a smooching pic.

Let's see if we can put some more pressure on him...
*puts AV on the List AGAIN*

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-01-13 05:29pm

Maybe he likes Star Wars and is an avid SD.net forum reader???

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2004-01-13 05:31pm

Tell you what, when I get back to Lancaster, I'll hide in the bushes with my camera or die trying... bloody thorns...

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2004-01-13 05:55pm

the boy is a junior? is he cute? if so, let him.. you know.. >D

Bob McDob · Post by **Bob McDob** » 2004-01-13 08:54pm

Zac Naloen wrote:she'd need his permission for the recordings for them to be legal.

Make a habit of it, then. Tell him you're making a record of practice sessions so you can judge it later or something like that. Tell him you're sorry but that if he doesn't agree, you'll have to drop him for (insert BS reason here).

Post by **RogueIce** » 2004-01-13 11:20pm

*resists urge to make inappropriate remark concering covering Zaia's ass, on accounts of the gravity of the topic*

Hm, what to do, what to do...

I don't know about recording. If you just started doing it now, and never did it before, it would make people wonder why you started doing it. Of course, if you haven't been doing it for that long, you could just say you want to try it out, since you're getting a feel for doing this one-on-one, or somesuch.

But if you've been doing one-on-one for some time, all of a sudden starting it now might make one wonder; and, as others have said, it's hardly foolproof.

So...if you do it at the school, as you seem to be, why not just say the school has suddenly decided you can no longer do these one-on-one sessions, for whatever policy reason they may have? After all, it's not the first time schools throw new policies on people and leave them to deal with the consequences...this could be easier if you go to someone in the Admin and tell them about your concerns (and, realistically, it could easily by any student for any reason, not just this young lad with a crush). If it comes from The Office you can just present it as yet another example of the administration doing it's best to make life hard on you, as opposed to worries over this kid.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-01-14 01:17am

You can record him, and say that you're trying out a new teaching method. Have two tape recorders, one to record his playing and then replaying it to help point out mistakes or whatnot (my brother's old piano teacher did this), and a second one to keep a record of the session. Not sure if this is justifiable, though.

Post by **Kuja** » 2004-01-14 02:18am

Zaia wrote:He's not like that at all. He just follows me around like a puppy dog when I show up at school (I'm good friends with the band director there, and I come by during and after school sometimes to help him out), and he usually touches me on the arm or shoulder when he talks to me (which I've tried to get him not to do). But nothing obsessive.

Zaia, those two things are more than enough cause for concern. Even when I had a crush on one of my music teachers, I didn't follow her around or touch her, except to shake hands when saying hi.

But here's a possibility: can you approach the band director about this and ask him to stick around during your lessons with this kid? I mean, you don't have to ask him to hawk-watch you or anything, but just maybe stay close by and do paperwork or something. At least that way, he's always in the other room, or at least close by.

(If your band room is anything like mine was, our directors' office was attached to the main room and had a window through the door so that anybody could see what was happening on the other side. That would greatly facilitate things.)

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2004-01-14 02:51am

I agree with Kuja that the best bet is to try and find some one that has a legtimate reason to be and ask them to stick around. That'd cover your ass as much as it's possible to do at this point.

(Of course I'd also do what I could to confirm this alleged crush. I wouldn't exactly put it past a friend to yank your chain to pull a prank on the kid, especially if he though you'd be a good sport.)

As for the following and the touching, that's problematic. The following might just be the result of him having no else their after class and he sees you as a friend. Does he do it all the time or just when you're there and he's got a reason to be around? That makes a difference.

The touching, that's just kind of weird. But it's possible he's just demonstrative like that around people he considers friends. Is he the kind that horses around with his friend?

But I would definitely talk your band director friend, any other school official you can trust, and then his parents. Most likely it's just an adolescent crush (goodness those happen) and harmless enough.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-01-14 02:54pm

I'm going with the approach another staff member idea...

Just bring it up to someone offhand, "You know, Kid X has a crush on me, and I'm not sure how to handle it..." Something like that.

I'm sure this isn't the first time a high school kid has had a crush on a teacher at this school, and I'm sure discussing it with someone will give you a little insight on how to proceed, if nothing else.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2004-01-14 03:58pm

Demiurge wrote:
Andrew J. wrote:
Zaia wrote: and he usually touches me on the arm or shoulder when he talks to me (which I've tried to get him not to do)
Have him arrested and sent to prison for sexual harrasment. Remember the Golden Rule: "Do unto others before they do unto you."
Actually, it's "do one to others before they do one to you."

I might need to do-or others might plan to do- way more than just one thing. Mine is more general, and fits better with the "traditional" Golden Rule.

Lonestar · Post by **Lonestar** » 2004-01-14 04:36pm

Beowulf wrote:I have a Brilliant Idea!

Ask one of your male friends to act the part of your boyfriend. If the high-schooler thinks you're already dating someone, he'll probably move on.

By extension, introduce him to Shep and his gun collection.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2004-01-14 04:36pm

Zac Naloen wrote:she'd need his permission for the recordings for them to be legal.

I think that as long as you're recording yourself (and not just another person) as well as your target, it's legal. (like, you can record your own phone calls but you can't tap somebody else's...)