Who do you most want to kick in the balls?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-15 05:32pm

It's ok, things are kinda tight in my extended family since my sister is trying this "Single Mom" thing....

Tolya · Post by **Tolya** » 2004-01-15 05:39pm

Lech Miller, Polish Prime Minister.
Btw he survived a chopper crash lately (smacked right into the ground in an Mi8 helicopter), so I'd be glad to finish the job.

I seriously doubt if he has any balls.

Thats the list opener, the rest of it is made up of almost every Polish politician...

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-01-15 06:16pm

I have a few more people that I'd like to kick.

-Whoever has been giving Paris Hilton all of this publicity. Okay, I get it: She's a ditz, and her only claims to fame are a poor-quality sex tape and having a rich family. Shut up already.

-Bill Gates. Being behind the OS that the vast majority of computer users use, Microsoft has the responsibility of minimizing the flaws in their OS, and taking measures to protect users for potential viruses that could be released on the system, and he hasn't lived up to that responsibility at all.

-Micheal Jackson (Assuming he still has balls). I think there was a time where he was in the headlines for releasing albums, not molesting kids, doing crazy things, and looking like a freak. And, given how high-pitched his voice is, kicking him in the nuts should make his voice too high for the human ear to hear, which is almost as good as shutting him up for good.

-Whoever was behind those Total commercials. If I want the taste and nutrition of Total, I'll have some cardboard with a one-a-day pill, so shut it.

-Conspiracy nuts. I'm sure I don't need to explain.

Edit: Some people have mentioned the Wachowski Brothers. Who are they?

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-01-15 06:21pm

Hmmm... conspiracy nuts make a tempting target, but I'd have to say:

DarkStar
Kent Hovind
Jack T. Chick
Gray Davis.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-01-15 06:25pm

Damn, I personally got into with Hovind when he was at my university. I should have kicked him then and there. Even though I would have been brought up on on assault charges, I think it would have been worth it to be "The Man Who Kicked 'Dr. Dino.' In the Nuts." He had a bodyguard, but I could have taken him.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2004-01-15 08:15pm

Jerry Falwell, Bill O'Reilly, Karl Rove, Sean Hannity, John Ashcroft, OBL, an array of tin-pit dictators around the world...I'm actually surprised that no one here has suggested kicking a fellow SD.Netter in the balls yet.

Of course, 1 page later this whole thing would get HOSed.
Come to think of it, shouldn't this thread have been in the HOS to begin with? This seems to be in the same category as the venting threads.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-01-15 08:33pm

Andrew J. wrote:Jerry Falwell, Bill O'Reilly, Karl Rove, Sean Hannity, John Ashcroft, OBL, an array of tin-pit dictators around the world...I'm actually surprised that no one here has suggested kicking a fellow SD.Netter in the balls yet.

Hey, man, we're a community. We look after each other. Course, if anyone were going to kick someone like Hamel I wouldn't mind TOO much. J/K.

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2004-01-15 09:20pm

The greasy f***er of a head chef at my last job. Maybe then his equipment would actually swell the size that he is always boasting of.
The builders who were supposed to have completed the renovations on my house before Christmas & are still less that halfway through & who seem to think that "7:30am tomorrow" means "some time next week".
George W. Bush. Because when he dies, the sum total of knowledge embodied in the human race will actually increase slightly.
John Howard, just for being a little bitch.
Guy Sebastian, just because I want to.

Not that I'm bitter, mind

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2004-01-15 09:31pm

2000AD wrote:Let me see .....

The Wachowski Brothers
My Brother
A small group of people on another message board for trivial reasons
Some guy that used to be my best friend
Bill Gates
The guy that lobbed a brick through our window and made off with the car keys (and car) on Boxing Day
The totally shit DJ at our New ywears Eve party
My brother
George W. bush
Tony Blair
All the members of Busted
All the members of Westlife
All the members of [insert boyband]
My mother (if she had balls)

that is alotta nut shots =) ... your foot might get tired ---------> you might even develop athletes foot during your line of nut smacking.

so much hostillity
( our new years eve DJ blew it up )

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-01-16 04:38am

The son of a bitch who raped one of my friends. He'd be tasting his own balls when I was done with him.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-01-16 09:38am

Okay, while we're on the subject, the drug dealer who sold my best friend a joint laced (without my firiend's knowledge) with crack. Bad batch; my friend is now braindead. And after I kicked him in the balls, I would follow my advice above, completely unable to stop myself.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-01-16 10:19am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:-Conspiracy nuts. I'm sure I don't need to explain.

But I am a conspiracy theory nut! (although I at least don't believe in my conspiracy theories... or do I?)

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2004-01-18 03:56am

I would say "kick everyone who thinks sexually assaulting people for fun is something to joke about," but I'm a little too tired and a little too cried out, and frankly I'm above that kind of shit. So I'll just say I'm...peeved...at everyone who posted in this thread.

Jesus Christ, I wake up every other day wondering why I shouldn't just drop the unnatural pretense of having faith in humanity and just treat them however amuses me. If there's such a thing as karma I've probably earned the right to hunt people for sport.

But no. As violent as I should be, as I deserve to be, I'm not. As badly as I need to hurt people sometimes, I never do. I'm still waiting to hear why that should be the case. Meanwhile everyone thinks they'll make fun of sexual assault just because they don't like someone's music or they're having a bad day. Hey, if someone makes music you hate, don't listen to it. If someone hurt your friend, try turning them in (although certainly I envy you the opportunity to hurt them back if it arises). But I'm not going to force my innately destructive self to give a damn about people while they're all happy to joke about hurting each other over petty bullshit. Fucking wusses. Try self-control and a little tolerance for people's genuine mistakes. That's hard. Yeah, Bush is an idiot and Britney's next career step is feature-length bukkake films. That's hardly grounds for this.

Just...this isn't funny. And finding it funny doesn't say great things about anyone. I don't know how it is in most of your countries, but in America we treat men like shit (worse than women I think) and humor like this is a big symptom/encouragement. And I saw a really fucked up example of that Friday. I just wish the example had been someone other than my husband. It was just macho bullshit some other guys in his class thought they could pull on him because he's "one of them" (not) and he really got hurt.

Be careful what you find amusing. Monkey see, monkey do.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-01-18 04:54am

Not that I've participated in this thread, so I haven't read everything, but is 'kick in the balls' = 'sexual assault'?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-01-18 05:41am

Vympel wrote:Not that I've participated in this thread, so I haven't read everything, but is 'kick in the balls' = 'sexual assault'?

It's SEMANTICS TIME!

Well, the American Heritage Dictionary IIRC defines sexual assault as:

Conduct of a sexual or indecent nature toward another person that is accompanied by actual or threatened physical force or that induces fear, shame, or mental suffering.

while Princeton University's Wordnet defines it as a synonym for rape.

source

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-01-18 05:45am

I once had a wrestling coach that would yell "kick me in the balls" to newer students to show off the fact that he didn't feel it. It was really weird. I personally kicked and punched him in the nuts to no avail. That guy really didn't feel it... And he would always say, "I already have kids, kick harder you pussy."

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-01-18 06:43am

Superman wrote:I once had a wrestling coach that would yell "kick me in the balls" to newer students to show off the fact that he didn't feel it. It was really weird. I personally kicked and punched him in the nuts to no avail. That guy really didn't feel it... And he would always say, "I already have kids, kick harder you pussy."

Did you kick harder?

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-01-18 06:46am

Superman, in all seriousness, that's really fucked up. Did he have testicles? I'm sure I've heard something about testis not being able to withstand much impact force. That should have done him in.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-01-18 07:16am

That's what I would think too, but he took the damage. When I kicked him, I felt strange and probably never did hit him at full force. I still hit him hard though... I've seen other people hit him pretty damn hard too... I know lots of wrestlers who don't feel really feel pain (myself included) but that's just plain rediculous.

I don't know if he actually has testicles. I think he does.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2004-01-18 02:38pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote: Edit: Some people have mentioned the Wachowski Brothers. Who are they?

The guys that made The Matrix, i can't understand why people would want to kick them in the nuts.

[whisper]

Sequels? What sequels? I don't remember any sequels to the Matrix. I DON'T REMEMBER ANY SEQUELS! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME REMEMBER! AHHHHHHH!

IndustrialNoise · Post by **IndustrialNoise** » 2004-01-18 02:52pm

Ashton Kutcher...I can't stand him. I'd just LOVE to go up to him, kick him in the balls, and scream "You just got punk'd, bitch!"

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-01-18 07:26pm

Damn it only one person. Augh. I'd kick Simon Cowell from Pop/American Idol. He bugs me. He so arrogant and got famous for being a cunt. He has no descernable talent. His underlings do all the work in his record company. I'd wear my special goth boots too.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-01-18 07:48pm

Oh Metron?

does your dislike of everyone whose posted include Zaia and my self who stated a deep set desire to injure someone who has already injured us?

In my case I defenatly am not joking, come to think of it your closer to the wife beating bastard then I am.....

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-01-18 07:49pm

Peregrin Toker wrote:
Vympel wrote:Not that I've participated in this thread, so I haven't read everything, but is 'kick in the balls' = 'sexual assault'?
It's SEMANTICS TIME!

Well, the American Heritage Dictionary IIRC defines sexual assault as:

Conduct of a sexual or indecent nature toward another person that is accompanied by actual or threatened physical force or that induces fear, shame, or mental suffering.

while Princeton University's Wordnet defines it as a synonym for rape.

source

I myself see this thread as more of a creative way of saying "Who do you dislike?", rather than a "Who would you want to sexually asasult?" question.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-19 02:05am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I myself see this thread as more of a creative way of saying "Who do you dislike?", rather than a "Who would you want to sexually asasult?" question.

That's exactly how I interpreted it as well.

Additionally, I even put a disclaimer at the end of my post, which didn't even reflect my personal philosophy on ball-kicking completely, which is that the only time I will ever kick a guy in the balls is if he is trying to rape, beat, or kill me.

I'm annoyed that I feel like I should justify myself to you, Metrion. You talk as though you're the only one around here who has any right to want to lash out verbally (for that's all we're doing here), but you don't know our histories. Why make such a judgement? Why assume that what you've been through or witnessed has been worse than what we have?