We're being probed

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2004-01-22 02:40pm

Say that Roswell was real. But instead of a UFO it was an alien probe much like any of our own planetary probes. The US Govt stashes it away. What they don't know until later is that the Russians, English and Chinese have also intercepted a probe as well, each one seperated by several years.

A probe lands in the US of the Spirit variety, a rover that is free roaming and has an AI that lets it analyze and search the terrain. It scared the crap out of some farmers before the military gets its hands on it.

The US realizes that the incidents of probes is increasing, in both number and locations. It is only a matter of time before the secret gets out. What does the government do in regards to this, as well as the implication that the aliens sending these probes are becoming more and more interested in our world? Is this something we should be worried about or happy about?

Caveats:

There is no way to determine their intent, any hacking of their computer systems have resulted in gibberish or simple geological and atmospeheric reports stored away. None of the probes have been armed.

The rise in incidents of probes have reached their peak in the last 5 years with a probe every 6 months, each one more complex and with a wider range and mission profile. NORAD suspects several probes have soft landed in the ocean and have never been recovered.

The aliens seem to be aware of us as the probes have been landing in isolated locations away from major human cities and the recent rash of rovers and flying probes have tried to evade capture but none have tried to harm anyone.

Are we concerned about this or happy?

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2004-01-22 02:44pm

The fact that they're trying to avoid areas of human settlement seems to mean they're more interested in the planet than us. Why would that be?

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-01-22 02:44pm

If they haven't attempted harm? Well, that's not a probe's job, so that's no indicator of hostility. It depends on what their actions are when/if they send an expedition.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-01-22 02:45pm

I try to find an active probe so I can hold up a sign saying:
Send Porn.

So that, upon first contact, not only will it fuck up everyone's look at philosophy and the universe as OCPs are wont to do, but the fundies will have to deal with alien porn.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-01-22 02:47pm

SETI gets pissed for a very long time after the probes become rife enough to forego any gov't cover-up. Then they get over the excitement and try and reverse engineer this stuff, albeit failing.

The problems arise when the general public hears about the potential existence of ETs that are flinging advanced robotics towards our rock. Some might take this as a blessing, others may see this as an act of war, some will remain apathetic.

The military will always be the easiest to get jumpy over this. I'd say they'd likely raise DEFCON everytime a probe was found and withdraw from overseas operations if applicable to aid the homeland if indeed these do turn out to be hostiles.

Without further info I can't give much more than a basic assessment. It'd be a mixed bag, but no doubt our question to whether or not we are alone in the universe has been answered.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-01-22 02:52pm

I think I'd be worried.

The aliens might think of us like monkeys, nothing more than a curious intelligent animal and not worth the basic rights we expect to have.

What comes to mind ....."You're a member of a native tribe and a guy named Christopher Columbus 'probes' your island....."

This might not be the case, but I'd prepare for the worst. I'd spend lots of money for a space-based defense system that shot down these probes before they landed. I'd also attempt to use the captured probes to attempt a dialog with these aliens.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2004-01-22 02:53pm

I think one of the very first things (and most difficult) to be done would be to set up some sort of international committee of all the powers that have probes in their poseession and set up some sort of info exchange. But some of the nations involved (China comes to mind) would be very hesitant to do so.

Also does the government try to keep it a secret and just wait for the inevitable discovery by someone independent or do they just tell the people or ease them into the knowledge?

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-01-22 02:56pm

It could become an OCP then and if they're hostile, accept your new leaders.

"An Outside Context Problem was the sort of thing most civilisations encountered just once, and which they tended to encounter rather in the same way a sentence encountered a full stop. The usual example given to illustrate an Outside Context Problem was imagining you were a tribe on a largish, fertile island; you'd tamed the land, invented the wheel or writing or whatever, the neighbours were cooperative or enslaved but at any rate peaceful and you were busy raising temples to yourself with all the excess productive capacity you had, you were in a position of near-absolute power and control which your hallowed ancestors could hardly have dreamed of and the whole situation was just running along nicely like a canoe on wet grass... when suddenly this bristling lump of iron appears sailless and trailing steam in the bay and these guys carrying long funny-looking sticks come ashore and announce you've just been discovered, you're all subjects of the Emperor now, he's keen on presents called tax and these bright-eyed holy men would like a word with your priests."

-Iain M. Banks, Excession

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2004-01-22 02:58pm

Stravo wrote: But some of the nations involved (China comes to mind) would be very hesitant to do so.

All the countries would probably look at weapon applications before handing info over to another country. I'd expect that the U.S. would feel equally protective and would only share it's info with close allies.

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2004-01-22 04:08pm

I would expect to see a knee-jerk reaction by politicians and the military. They'd very likely start sending out metric assloads of transmissions to space, hoping to catch whoever is send them. Naturally, the military would be put on high alert, pull out of overseas and begin monitoring them very closely. Doubtless the Americans would build their missile shield even if they had to invade Canada to do it and brace for some kind of confrontation.

I think America would be as secreive, if not moreso than China dealing with alien technology with potential military applications.

EmperorChrostas the Cruel · Post by **EmperorChrostas the Cruel** » 2004-01-22 04:15pm

Do any of these probes have dildoes and anal lube?

It would seem the lack of said devices would prove them of terrestrial origin, and ahoax, as all known alien encounters involve anal probing!

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-01-22 04:18pm

EmperorChrostas the Cruel wrote:Do any of these probes have dildoes and anal lube?
It would seem the lack of said devices would prove them of terrestrial origin, and ahoax, as all known alien encounters involve anal probing!

An information gathering machine built specifically to learn about things in our environment that likes to fuck things in the ass.

Does this mean our lord Wong is one of these aliens?

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-01-22 04:34pm

What I'm thinking would happen is that the probes would escape. Then hundreds of ships would appear an indisciminately carpet nuke the planet, releasing plagues, and shattering our food supply. As the tattered remnants of humanity begin to gather to survive, a single ship lands. Out of it comes the alien version of Ashton Kutcher, who cheerfully informs the survivors that the probes were network cameradroids and that humanity's been Punk'd.

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-01-22 05:30pm

Personally, I'm tired of the "War of the worlds" crap. Why can we just imagine that the others (the aliens) are only thinking about making us their hamburgers or slaves or just want to wipe us out?

Why can't they just come to civilize us? I mean, we have the means to fly into space and to knock our old planet off its orbit. But our way of thinking it's still a medieval one. All we can think about is how to grab a bigger piece of anything without worrying about what will we leave to our children. We (as a species) don't care about polution and reasonable exploatation of resources and all those other things. That's why we can only imagine the encounter with an alien life form as a conflictual one ... because we didn't grow up in our conceptions.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-01-22 05:31pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:What I'm thinking would happen is that the probes would escape. Then hundreds of ships would appear an indisciminately carpet nuke the planet, releasing plagues, and shattering our food supply. As the tattered remnants of humanity begin to gather to survive, a single ship lands. Out of it comes the alien version of Ashton Kutcher, who cheerfully informs the survivors that the probes were network cameradroids and that humanity's been Punk'd.

...Then they'd give us back our REAL planet.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-01-22 05:59pm

Comosicus wrote:Personally, I'm tired of the "War of the worlds" crap. Why can we just imagine that the others (the aliens) are only thinking about making us their hamburgers or slaves or just want to wipe us out?

Because those are the basal tendancies of humans and assuming they're organic, the aliens.

Why can't they just come to civilize us? I mean, we have the means to fly into space and to knock our old planet off its orbit. But our way of thinking it's still a medieval one. All we can think about is how to grab a bigger piece of anything without worrying about what will we leave to our children. We (as a species) don't care about polution and reasonable exploatation of resources and all those other things. That's why we can only imagine the encounter with an alien life form as a conflictual one ... because we didn't grow up in our conceptions.

An evolution rife with violence and conflict is not unique to humanity. Again, assuming these beings are organic, their evolution and history would be as full of bloody atrocities as ours, if not more. This isn't to say they couldn't have embraced a philosophy like a Humanism anolog, but it's far more likely that they're militaristic or religious.

So Stravo, are these probes coming from in-system? Has anyone been able to observe them on their entry course? If they have an FTL method why don't they scout themselves? If they were coming from Mars, Titan, Callisto or something I think we should be able to trace their origin.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-01-22 06:10pm

Comosicus wrote:Personally, I'm tired of the "War of the worlds" crap. Why can we just imagine that the others (the aliens) are only thinking about making us their hamburgers or slaves or just want to wipe us out?

Why can't they just come to civilize us? I mean, we have the means to fly into space and to knock our old planet off its orbit. But our way of thinking it's still a medieval one. All we can think about is how to grab a bigger piece of anything without worrying about what will we leave to our children. We (as a species) don't care about polution and reasonable exploatation of resources and all those other things. That's why we can only imagine the encounter with an alien life form as a conflictual one ... because we didn't grow up in our conceptions.

It's easier to think up story ideas, for one thing. Lazy Raptor said the rest of my thoughts before I could post.

While I'm here, have you ever read Octavia Butler's trilogy Lilith's Brood? The books individually are Dawn, Adulthood Rites, and Imago. It's a slightly different take on the alien invasion story, where they arrive after a nuclear war to restore the Earth and the few surviving remnants of humanity.

**SPOILER** And to absorb the human race into their own to improve the DNA of both species...it's a long story. **/SPOILER**

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2004-01-22 06:13pm

Lazy Raptor wrote:
So Stravo, are these probes coming from in-system? Has anyone been able to observe them on their entry course? If they have an FTL method why don't they scout themselves? If they were coming from Mars, Titan, Callisto or something I think we should be able to trace their origin.

Interesting you should ask Raptor. The Chinese managed to recover the portions of a pod in which the probes seem to be encased upon entry. There is an engine of some sort beyond our science that we speculate may involve some advanced form of fusion that allows these probes to be accelerated at nearly c. Estimates from aging done on the shell indicate that the probe came from somewhere within a 20 ly radius of our system. Judging by the actual damage on the outer shell they believe that somewhere closer to about 20ly not less.

Astronomy experts are quietly being dragooned to try and use NORAD entry data to estimate point of origin.

Check back for more details as they come in.

And Comisicus, at no time in this hypo have I indicated that the aliens are hostile. I'm leaving this intentionally vague to see how we handle this.

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2004-01-22 06:15pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:I try to find an active probe so I can hold up a sign saying:
Send Porn.

So that, upon first contact, not only will it fuck up everyone's look at philosophy and the universe as OCPs are wont to do, but the fundies will have to deal with alien porn.

I like you.

I don't believe we've met. I'm Matt.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-01-22 06:19pm

Queeb Salaron wrote:
SyntaxVorlon wrote:I try to find an active probe so I can hold up a sign saying:
Send Porn.

So that, upon first contact, not only will it fuck up everyone's look at philosophy and the universe as OCPs are wont to do, but the fundies will have to deal with alien porn.
I like you.

I don't believe we've met. I'm Matt.

Thanks I'm Roger, but I prefer Syntax. If you wish to converse however, do so through private messaging and keep the thread on topic.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-01-22 06:22pm

Queeb Salaron wrote:
I don't believe we've met. I'm Matt.

HE'S ALIVE!!!

what up yo?

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2004-01-22 06:23pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:Thanks I'm Roger, but I prefer Syntax. If you wish to converse however, do so through private messaging and keep the thread on topic.

Ahem. Quite. I apologize.

I say we rejoice. Our primary objective must be to figure out where these probes came from, and then to send them every back issue of National Geographic and Reader's Digest available in hopes of giving them the impression that we are an uncivilized race of brown people with big floppy breasts and who write terrible concise stories about nothing in particular. That gets rid of two problems right there: It eliminates all the old copies of NG and RD, and it keeps those alien bastards from messing with us anymore.

Unless, of course, the aliens like floppy-breasted tribal African women and/or literary equivalents of Diane Steel. In which case we have a HUGE problem on our hands.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-01-22 06:25pm

Stravo wrote:There is an engine of some sort beyond our science that we speculate may involve some advanced form of fusion that allows these probes to be accelerated at nearly c. Estimates from aging done on the shell indicate that the probe came from somewhere within a 20 ly radius of our system.

That's odd considering each successive probe appears to be adapting its tactics to avoid capture. Maybe they have a communications method that's faster than their engines...

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2004-01-22 10:19pm

Lazy Raptor wrote:
Stravo wrote:There is an engine of some sort beyond our science that we speculate may involve some advanced form of fusion that allows these probes to be accelerated at nearly c. Estimates from aging done on the shell indicate that the probe came from somewhere within a 20 ly radius of our system.
That's odd considering each successive probe appears to be adapting its tactics to avoid capture. Maybe they have a communications method that's faster than their engines...

Or very good AI.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-01-22 10:31pm

Perhaps that are using there lowest level 'extra-solar' star drives (near C) engines to avoid freaking us out.

This points to a potientally Star Trek level society, or higher.