In movies, and on cop shows on TV, the suspect invariably plays the wronged innocent, and also invariably says: "You planted that! I never seen that shit before," or words to that effect. But you know, they almost never say that in real life. Occasionally they will, but it's actually quite rare. They still play the wronged innocent though. And you know they do say? "Man, these ain't my pants." Or they'll say shirt, jacket, shoes, hat, whatever, depending on where you find the drugs or drug paraphernalia. They're never wearing their own clothes. They always borrowed what they've got on from some buddy of theirs, yet strangely he's a guy they always know only by either his first name, or his "street name". They can't even tell you where he lives, but they're close enough friends to wear each other's clothes casually. I suspect you never hear this excuse on the cop shows because audiences who don't know better would think it's too farfetched, and wouldn't buy it, but this really is what they say 9 times out of 10.
I have even been present in central booking when a suspect was strip searched, and a crack pipe was found in the waistband of his BVDs... And you guessed it! "Man, these ain't my drawers!" (They were none too clean either.) So this suspect wanted us to believe he just grabbed his buddy's underpants (out of the dirty clothes pile presumably, given how grey they were) and slapped them on before walking out the door. Moreover, he was strangely unable to feel that three inch-long metal crack pipe in the waistband. And, of course, he only knew this guy, whom he was on good enough terms with to wear his drawers, as "T-bone", and, of course
had no idea what his real name was...I am not making this up.
Folks, let me tell you, the "criminal mastermind" is practically a myth. 99.9% of these fools are about as smart as a bag of hammers. It really came as an eye opening experience to me the shit they will tell you, and apparently sincerely hope you will swallow.
