Bathroom Graffiti

AnimeJet · Post by **AnimeJet** » 2004-01-26 08:49pm

There's alot of "[insert high school here] sucks and [insert name here] rules!"

There's a stall where someone drew a face and wrote "she's watching you" next to it. A little unsettling.

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2004-01-26 08:57pm

The ladies' loos (never been in the gents') in the Forgan Smith buiding at the University of Queensland used to have the best bathroom grafitti I've ever seen. They used to have some fascinating running debates on such diverse topics as rape, the nature of God and politics. Of course there was always the obligatory 'Toilet Tennis' as well, to say nothing of Student Union election propaganda.

One of my other all time favourite pieces of bathroom grafitti appeared on the wall of a public convenience in Forster (NSW). It went thusly:

If you love a guy
Show some class
Don't write his name
Where you wipe your arse

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-01-26 09:19pm

I tend to stay away form public restrooms, and the ones I do use are usually the school ones, where you see a lot of "(insert name here) is gay", or "niggers suck". Perhaps the only non-hateful thing I ever read on a bathroom stall was this:

The people who write on these walls
Roll their poop into little balls
Those who read their words of wit
Eat these little balls of shit

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2004-01-26 09:29pm

What makes me laugh is when you see crap like "Why do these fuck wits write this crap here?!"....

Usualy though, I always take some bathroom literature with me, I'm nearly always equipped with a copy of Sight & Sound so thats good, reading shitty reviews of shitty films while taking a shit. There's a little but or irony for you.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2004-01-27 12:11am

Some gems from my lee and herring Fist Of Fun book:

"Crap graffitti"
In the 1970's, the cornish-faced curmudgeon, Nigel Rees made a million pounds out of compiling over 11 "hilarious" books of the best graffitti in britain. He claimed they demonstrated the "wit" of the ordinary british public. He was wrong, of course. Ordinary people are not funny. That is why you are sitting at home reading this, with a few pence change from a £20 note in your pocket and we are, right now, aboard a big yacht on one of the seas of mars, with some beautiful high-class, 10 breasted space whores, and drugs that have not been invented yet on Earth.

Nigel's problem was that after he'd done "Play toilet tennis, see other wall" (Ha ha) and "I've got a drink problem, I just can't afford it" (!), there wasn't any other half decent ideas for him to do. As is demonstrated by the as yet unpublished Nigel Rees's Graffitti 12! (Graffitti publications 1993)

How about the traditional favourite graffito found in toilets up and down our great british land?

PISS, SHIT, BOLLOCKS

This was first seen in the 19th century in a toilet in Reading Gaol. We can only speculate that this may have been the work of incarcerated poet and wit Oscar Wilde. It certainly is his style.

In the ladies' toilet of the Mason's Arms on Solihull High street, some wag has written:

BOLLOCKS, SHIT, PISS

This, of course, has cleverly subverted the original joke and thus our expectations, leading to a humourous reaction.

See if you can make up some subversions of your own. There are four more. When you become sufficiently adept at those why not try making up some more using at least one different swear word (eg wank or tosser).

Here's another classic:

I DID A SHIT!

The sighting of this graffito in a toilet, inevitable, makes it all the more ironic and amusing. Even were it spotted outside a toilet, the humour would not be lost as we can assume that the writer has, at some point in his life, done a shit.

This is, of course a really pathetic and stupid thing to write. No name, no address, nothing. How is oen meant to contact the hopeful recipient? What a waste of biro ink. A good try though from anon of Glasgow!

In the male toilet of the Bath Arms in Cheddar, a notable Somerset wit has written:

I AM 12 INCHES, DO YOU WANT ME?

Under which another anonymous hand has written:

That depends on how big your cock is

His, we must assume, deliberate misunderstanding of Man A's statement is the thing which makes us feel the desire to laugh on this occasion.

On the london underground a few years back, they ran an advertising campaign with the line "Get a ticket, nto a criminal record". On the central line, one wickedly humourous individual had used his pen to alter one of the words to:

Get A Ticket, not a Chesney Hawkes record

This was almost not clever enough to include in this book, but luckily they had written:

PISS, SHIT BOLLOCKS

at the end, which saved it.

^_^

Thinkmarble · Post by **Thinkmarble** » 2004-01-27 02:03am

Marx: to do is to be
Freud: to be is to do
Sinatra: do be do be do

Mr Flibble · Post by **Mr Flibble** » 2004-01-27 03:32am

IN one of he stalls in the Adelaide uni library toilets, someone has drawn a naked women with legs spread, arrows pointed at the vagina, with the remark "Aim here"

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2004-01-27 03:38am

Mr Flibble wrote:IN one of he stalls in the Adelaide uni library toilets, someone has drawn a naked women with legs spread, arrows pointed at the vagina, with the remark "Aim here"

Pure class, that.

SoX · Post by **SoX** » 2004-01-27 12:08pm

some of my faves:

So which is your favourite Crystal Maze zone?

and

Bad Spellers of the World Untie

and

People who write on doors are stupid. I am not stupid because i write on door frames.

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2004-01-27 12:13pm

'political jokes are funny, until they get elected'- bathroom at an Italian place.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-27 09:28pm

The only one I can remember that wasn't a declaration of someone being a whore is:

"If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Be a sweetie;
Wipe the seatie."

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-27 09:32pm

This thread is fascinating. I had no idea that women write stuff while taking a dump, like men do.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2004-01-27 09:35pm

"If you voted for Clinton, you can't shit here because your asshole is in Washington."

I imagine similar witticisms exist for Dubya.

Also, seen written on the wall over a urinal: "Free candy!" with an arrow pointing down (for those who don't get it, urinals usually have a deoderant/disinfectant tab a little smaller than a hockey puck in them that looks like a big pice of candy).

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-27 09:37pm

Demiurge wrote:This thread is fascinating. I had no idea that women write stuff while taking a dump, like men do.

Most of it (from what I've observed, anyway) is about someone's boyfriend being hot, someone else wanting to fuck him, and then lots of people calling lots of other people whores.

In college, though, the bathroom stalls in my dorm had lots of flyers for events going on. Plus, in the center of the door, right at eye level, was the Question Of The Week (usually asking about sexual experiences), complete with a dangly little pencil so you could write your answer. Because of all the flyers and stuff, people would just draw on them instead of on the walls, which the school liked, I guess.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-27 09:41pm

Zaia wrote: Most of it (from what I've observed, anyway) is about someone's boyfriend being hot, someone else wanting to fuck him, and then lots of people calling lots of other people whores.

In college, though, the bathroom stalls in my dorm had lots of flyers for events going on. Plus, in the center of the door, right at eye level, was the Question Of The Week (usually asking about sexual experiences), complete with a dangly little pencil so you could write your answer. Because of all the flyers and stuff, people would just draw on them instead of on the walls, which the school liked, I guess.

Are there ever "for a good time..." type messages?

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-27 09:49pm

Demiurge wrote:Are there ever "for a good time..." type messages?

Not that I've come across. Which is too bad, 'cause I'd be whippin' out my phone to call that bad boy right up...

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2004-01-27 09:55pm

Who said it'd have to be a boy...

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-27 10:12pm

Dorsk 81 wrote:Who said it'd have to be a boy...

Lesbianity was my implication.

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2004-01-27 10:20pm

Demiurge wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Who said it'd have to be a boy...
Lesbianity was my implication.

Lesbianity?! >HOOT!!< That's a new one!!

The word is lesbianism.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-27 10:23pm

Hey, it could have been for either. And no, I haven't come across any like that, so:

.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-27 10:27pm

I'm guessing they don't draw vaginas on the walls, either. How strange these women be.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-01-27 10:28pm

Demiurge wrote:I'm guessing they don't draw vaginas on the walls, either. How strange these women be.

No, just the thick 14" penii of their dreams.

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2004-01-27 11:19pm

Zaia wrote:
Demiurge wrote:I'm guessing they don't draw vaginas on the walls, either. How strange these women be.
No, just the thick 14" penii of their dreams.

So women DO like them little!

::Takes out the carving knife::

ZZZZZING!

Lancer · Post by **Lancer** » 2004-01-27 11:23pm

Queeb Salaron wrote:
Zaia wrote:
Demiurge wrote:I'm guessing they don't draw vaginas on the walls, either. How strange these women be.
No, just the thick 14" penii of their dreams.
So women DO like them little!

::Takes out the carving knife::

ZZZZZING!

You wouldn't happen to have the alias "RayCav" would you?

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-01-28 12:13am

Funny thing about SD.net. No matter how hard you try to steer a thread toward lesbianism, it never quite works. [/sarcasm]