Penis Owners guide

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2004-01-28 05:12am

Greetings ladys, Gents, and penile loving bipods ...

Penis Guide 1

having trouble with your wang ? ( probably not ) .... but if so, heres a trouble shooting guide along with refference of everything you need!

enjoy

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EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-01-28 05:23am

I was wondering where I missplaced my owners manual...

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-01-28 05:57am

aphexmonster wrote:Greetings ladys, Gents, and penile loving bipods ...

Penis Guide 1

having trouble with your wang ? ( probably not ) .... but if so, heres a trouble shooting guide along with refference of everything you need!

enjoy [/url]

Not a good one to open at work (the ads) and there's a bunch of pop-up that are very not school/work friendly as well.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-01-28 05:59am

SHAGNASTY'S Penis Owners Manual

Hey, there's a bar in Ceder Rapids called Shagnasty's...

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2004-01-28 08:04am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
SHAGNASTY'S Penis Owners Manual
Hey, there's a bar in Ceder Rapids called Shagnasty's...

Thats a fun place. Lotsa College 'Tang

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-01-28 08:06am

I just remember because they advertised the hell out of themselves on the radio. But I think they might have closed recently.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-01-28 08:16am

Well that was... odd.

The facts and figures were cool though.

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2004-01-28 08:34am

Farthest medically recorded ejaculation 11.7 feet

And I'm lucky if I can hit much past my sola pexlus!

The Aliens · Post by **The Aliens** » 2004-01-28 11:48am

My manual got destroyed in the washing machine- good to see a replica.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2004-01-31 10:21pm

Haha, that was good.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2004-01-31 10:22pm

Hyperion wrote:Haha, that was good.

::just waits for the obligitory "didn't it fall off from the radiation" joke::

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-02-01 12:49am

...Ow.

Le Penis Guide wrote:One third of all penile ruptures occur during lovemaking. They're caused by sudden shifts in position or by awkward attempts at parallel parking with the partner on top. The tearing of tissue that occurs within an erect penis is often audible and always extremely painful.

Audible?! Yowsah.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-02-01 01:39am

CAUTION! -- The following can shrink a relaxed penis by two inches or more: - cold weather, chilly baths or showers, sexual activity, exhaustion, excitement (non sexual), illness and Keith Richards.

I found that funny for some reason.

There should be a warning about looking at it during ejaculation, or waving it in front of a cat, though.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-02-01 02:49am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:There should be a warning about looking at it during ejaculation, or waving it in front of a cat, though.

Yes there should be. I've blown my head clean off several times doing this during masturbation:

And getting cum in your eye makes it look (and FEEL!!!!) just like this:

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2004-02-01 02:52am

5.1 inches is average? I thought 6 was.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-02-01 03:02am

closet sci-fi fan wrote:
anarchistbunny wrote:5.1 inches is average? I thought 6 was.
It was a british website...

OOohhhh *grabs crotch from reflexive pain due to CSFF's Verbal Swift Kick to the Nads* LMAO!@!!

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2004-02-01 03:12am

Estimated replacement value (good condition model) £50,000

LMAO!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-02-01 10:03am

anarchistbunny wrote:5.1 inches is average? I thought 6 was.

Apparently it's regional, I heard from some magazine that in Londodn it's 7 inches.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2004-02-01 10:32am

Tsyroc wrote:Not a good one to open at work (the ads) and there's a bunch of pop-up that are very not school/work friendly as well.

What popups? Google has a built-in popup blocker.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2004-02-01 10:33am

Dorsk 81 wrote:
Farthest medically recorded ejaculation 11.7 feet

And I'm lucky if I can hit much past my sola pexlus!

In Betsy's skilled hands, I've hit my collarbone before.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-02-01 10:40am

closet sci-fi fan wrote:
Tsyroc wrote: Not a good one to open at work (the ads) and there's a bunch of pop-up that are very not school/work friendly as well.
1. Why are you visiting a "penis owner's guide" website at work/school?

2. Pop-ups? http://www.Mozilla.org

1. You would think it might come in handy at a hospital.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it

2. I'm stuck with IE at work. We aren't allowed to install any programs on the computers. Before they switched to Windows 2000 I used to run Netscape and AOL at work. AOL because it was like running a tunnel through a tunnel. I could bypass all the internet blocks they had set up.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-02-01 10:43am

Iceberg wrote:
Tsyroc wrote:Not a good one to open at work (the ads) and there's a bunch of pop-up that are very not school/work friendly as well.
What popups? Google has a built-in popup blocker.

So how does that work? Do I need to copy the address and then put it in Google?

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2004-02-01 10:48am

Tsyroc wrote:
Iceberg wrote:
Tsyroc wrote:Not a good one to open at work (the ads) and there's a bunch of pop-up that are very not school/work friendly as well.
What popups? Google has a built-in popup blocker.
So how does that work? Do I need to copy the address and then put it in Google?

*looks at what I wrote* Dammit. I'm an idiot.

I meant "MOZILLA" has a built-in pop-up blocker.

Goes to show you that I shouldn't type before I've had my caffeine in the morning.

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2004-02-01 10:52am

anarchistbunny wrote:5.1 inches is average? I thought 6 was.

Well, in sweden they say 15cm which is 5.905 inches

According to a google search:

More recent studies have produced the following results:
A sample of 60 men studied by researchers at the University of California at San Francisco determined that the average size of their erect penises was 5.1 inches long and 4.9 inches in girth. A Brazilian urologist who measured 150 men reported that the average size of their erections was 5.7 inches long and 4.7 inches in girth.

Well, atleast I'm above average even if we use 6 inches, but thats all I'll say

GySgt. Hartman · Post by **GySgt. Hartman** » 2004-02-01 10:53am

Gandalf wrote:
anarchistbunny wrote:5.1 inches is average? I thought 6 was.
Apparently it's regional, I heard from some magazine that in Londodn it's 7 inches.

Have you ever wondered how they determin that? Do they just go around and ask people? I think that regional variation on that scale is BS. It just means that Lononers apparently are more prone to lying.

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