With John Kerry looking like the eventual Democratic nominee, and with him getting the vast majority of coverage on TV, it seems appropriate to release at this time the rules for the John Kerry Drinking Game. It is all pretty simple, and there are various ways to take advantage. You can watch a John Kerry speech on C-SPAN, watch election coverage on any channel, or tune in to a debate. All you need to play is some John Kerry footage, and a lot of booze. While some rules call for doing shots of liquor, beer can be subsituted, especially if you believe in the saying, "liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker." This game is for people 21+ years old.
Here are the rules (click for printable version):
The Wrinkle Salute- To start the game off, determine if John Kerry has more, or less, wrinkles than when you last saw him. If he's in need of a Botox shot, chug a beer. If he appears to have recently received one, pass out a round of shots and toast to looking youthful.
"Bush League"- When John Kerry says "Bush league," all players must take one shot (Rum, Whiskey, Dr. McGillicuddy- whatever you so choose).
"I love you _____"- When John Kerry says "I love you (insert any state)," hug someone, toast your beer, and take a sip. He's been known to say several states at once, so be prepared to hug, toast and drink for every state he loves.
"Bring it on!" For every "bring it on!" said by Kerry and his supporters, drink. This has become a chant at various rallies, so be prepared to tip your drink each time "bring it on" is uttered during the chant.
Name Dropping- Every time John Kerry drops a name (some examples would be Fritz Hollings, Max Cleland, Jim Clyburn), tip back your frosty beverage. This is another one of those things that happens often, so be on your toes.
"In a Kerry Administration...."- Kerry loves dreaming about the future, and loves pointing out what he will do "in a Kerry Administration." Everytime says what he will do "In a Kerry Administration...", all female participants must drink.
JohnKerry.com- It hasn't come up much, but I have a feeling we'll hear more of it now. When you do, drink.
"I have led the fight against...."- This one will be for the guys. For everything he has led the fight again, drink.
"We/I know something about..."- Usually the statement is followed by "aircraft carriers," but it can be used for other things as well. When he says this, as is the theme of this game, drink.
"We're coming, you're going. Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"- This is the big one. This is the social rule. When you hear this Kerry battle cry coming, stand up, raise your beers, and shout it out along with him. At the conclusion, chug one (1) full beer.
Gotcha Rule- If you catch a player missing one of the required drinks, you get to make them drink from their beer for as long as you choose, up to one full beer.
Determining the Winner: Once the event involving Kerry is over, the winner will be the individual that can balance themselves on one foot the longest.
Have Fun
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