Conan vs Quebec

The Dude · Post by **The Dude** » 2004-02-13 06:58pm

I don't know if anyone saw it last night, but Conan O'Brien (who's doing his show from Toronto this week) had a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog segment in Quebec City last night. It was funny as hell; the wife and I laughed our asses off. Some of the bits included

-renaming Quebec streets with English translations, also: "Rue du Pussies", "Quebecqueer Street" and "Celine Dion Sucks Street".

- hs asked a couple if they were separatists; when they said "of course" he reponds with "Do you hear that? That's the sound of no one giving a damn"

- to a fat separatist: "Maybe you should separate from donuts"

- to a couple who got pissed off when he spoke to them in English: "You're in North America. Learn the language!"

"You're French Canadian? So you're obnoxious AND dull."

" I can tell you're French by the proud look on your face. And I can smell your crotch from here."

Anyway, today the usual suspects are kicking up a fuss. CHUM is going to edit out the segment for reruns, and it was even denounced on the floor of parliament today (a welcome distraction from the $100M fleece job the Liberals pulled I guess).

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-13 07:05pm

It's on Comedy Central, right now!!!

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-02-13 07:08pm

Heh, they denounced it in Parliament? Hah! Don't they have any sense of humor? What are they, FOX?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-13 07:14pm

Jesus, that was funny.

"Your breath is harder than Michael Jackson at Disneyland!"

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-02-13 07:21pm

I saw the rerun on Comedy Central. It was pretty funny stuff, especially the part where Triumph peed in the snow and kids started eating it, and the part where he renamed the streets.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2004-02-13 07:48pm

I just watched that. Priceless.

If anyone finds out where I can download it, point me to it, please.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-13 08:38pm

I heard about it on the news and i don`t mind this kind of joke,I`m French-Canadian not Quebecois,and maybe Conan should know the difference between FC and Queebs

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-02-13 08:57pm

Damn, those Quebecois are taking a beating. First Don Cherry calls their hockey players wusses and now this, I wonder who's taking a shot at them next?

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-13 09:15pm

aerius wrote:Damn, those Quebecois are taking a beating. First Don Cherry calls their hockey players wusses and now this, I wonder who's taking a shot at them next?

You forgot that Howard(Anal Obsession)Stern took a shot a few years ago.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-13 09:43pm

Let me get this straight: on the same week where it's revealed that even more hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars were funneled into Quebec than previously thought, they have the gall to get their self-righteous ire up at a comedy routine?

Do the words "shut the fuck up" mean anything to them?

Dark Hellion · Post by **Dark Hellion** » 2004-02-13 09:47pm

Do the words "shut the fuck up" mean anything to them?

I don't think so, their French you know.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-13 10:05pm

Dark Hellion wrote:
Do the words "shut the fuck up" mean anything to them?
I don't think so, their French you know.

Actualy they`re Quebecois

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-13 10:08pm

Eh, potato, potatoe...

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-02-13 10:36pm

Joe wrote:Eh, potato, potatoe...

Thank you, Mr. Quayle.

The Dude · Post by **The Dude** » 2004-02-14 12:33am

Dark Hellion wrote:
Do the words "shut the fuck up" mean anything to them?
I don't think so, their French you know.

"Ta gueule", then.

Or maybe "Vas t'enculer, christ de chien sal".

Whatever.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-14 12:46am

The Dude wrote:
Dark Hellion wrote:
Do the words "shut the fuck up" mean anything to them?
I don't think so, their French you know.
"Ta gueule", then.

Or maybe "Vas te faire enculer, crisse de chien sale".

Whatever.

Wrote it the way Quebecois talks

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2004-02-14 03:05am

Darth Wong wrote:Let me get this straight: on the same week where it's revealed that even more hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars were funneled into Quebec than previously thought, they have the gall to get their self-righteous ire up at a comedy routine?

Do the words "shut the fuck up" mean anything to them?

Ah see Mike if your Canadian socialized medicine wasn't so efficient they wouldn't have th spare pork money to pour into Quebec.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2004-02-14 05:55am

Conan Rocks, Conan Rules.

Ma Deuce · Post by **Ma Deuce** » 2004-02-14 01:08pm

BlkbrryTheGreat wrote: Ah see Mike if your Canadian socialized medicine wasn't so efficient they wouldn't have th spare pork money to pour into Quebec.

While it may have been the envy of the world a decade ago, our socialized healthcare system ain't so great anymore, because Cretin slashed funds to it (along with transportation and military funding), in order to end the huge deficits from the Mulrouny years. So he took the simple way to "Balance the books", without actiually doing much serious reorganizing.
We do have a tax surplus now, but it is, IMO an artifical one because it has come at the price of critically underfunding several key departments. And all this while we pay close to 50% income tax, plus a total 15% sales tax (7% goods and services tax, 8% provincial sales tax). on just about everything we buy (GST does not apply to some items, such as books.)

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2004-02-14 05:26pm

So, does anyone have a link to a clip or a transcript? Pretty please?

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2004-02-15 12:01am

Ma Deuce wrote:
BlkbrryTheGreat wrote: Ah see Mike if your Canadian socialized medicine wasn't so efficient they wouldn't have th spare pork money to pour into Quebec.
While it may have been the envy of the world a decade ago, our socialized healthcare system ain't so great anymore, because Cretin slashed funds to it (along with transportation and military funding), in order to end the huge deficits from the Mulrouny years. So he took the simple way to "Balance the books", without actiually doing much serious reorganizing.
We do have a tax surplus now, but it is, IMO an artifical one because it has come at the price of critically underfunding several key departments. And all this while we pay close to 50% income tax, plus a total 15% sales tax (7% goods and services tax, 8% provincial sales tax). on just about everything we buy (GST does not apply to some items, such as books.)

The thing with any balanced budget is not so much that that you keep spending in check as make sure that the economy grows which should increace tax returns. Overly high taxes do not help in the long run, but nor do overly low taxes help in the short to medium term.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-15 12:09am

www.webquebec.com

These guys are not happy and they want public excuses from Conan.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-02-15 12:15am

The English translation (as provided by Babel Fish) of their complaints is hilarious:

During one of its emissions on line of Toronto. Conan O' Brien and its team held of the even racist discriminatory remarks with regard to the French-speaking people. They even said in waves to French-speaking people of thus speaking "North-American" English. This behavior is intolerable and inexcusable especially that these emissions are partly subsidized by our Canadian government. Click here and the banner on your left will automatically set out with network NBC in order to express all our dégout to them. It does not matter your political convictions québécoises, this contempt should not leave anybody indifferent. Thank you!

Damn those emissions! Damn them straight to hell!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2004-02-15 12:21am

After translating it into Korean, and then into English, then back into French, and then into German, and then into English, then into Japanese, then finally back to English, it reads thusly:

That discharge of the harmony of n of Toronto between 1 time. Relates Brien and that to the person, because ' you are imprisoned, ConanO, you speak the end of competition of discrimination of that of France U equal discrimination. When inside you speak this uniform person and the bulb of green which speak, she "that, her north American of France U" speaks English simultaneously. That is special, due to could divide this discharge concerning 1 government of Canada of help our concessions and this line which it gives. Here that entirely in order to express in the thing order where the flag in those the left with NBC of the net starts from the automatic movement those our d3.egout pushing. That closes the politics qu3.eb3.ecoises of reliance, this boring song of the armyarmy troop is indifferent, it makes possible permission, does not become substantial it is not and is not. That it expands, appreciates!

This is so cool, I'm going to translate Hemmingway next.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-15 12:42am

After the first ever translation this Babel Fish should have been renamed Babel Shit