Wierdest/most hilarious cult pamphlet EVER.

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fgalkin2
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Wierdest/most hilarious cult pamphlet EVER.

Post by fgalkin2 »

Is in my hand right now. Here it is (totally verbatim)
Saturday, February 07, 2004, I think Hitler [666] did not like to have sex with a woman

In 1999, I announced the existence of of one Dragon Bomb [Little Big Bang] has the maximum firepower of 1,000,000,000,000 Standard of Hydrogen Bombs [Little Suns]. The energy we need, but the destruction we do not need. I warned the President of United States that we should test the Power of Dragon Bomb in outer space. If we test the power of the Dragon Bomb on the surface of the Earth, we may kill all living things from (crossed out) of( handwritten above, then crossed out) on (handwritten next to of ~fg) this Earth, or disintegrate the entire Earth in this Star System. We need the Dragon Bomb to protect us from large asteroid like that one killed the entire species called dinosaurs 65 million years ago. KING OF KINGS, 999, MESSIAH

I accused Adolf Hitler as the Anti-Christ, Beast, Western Dragon, or the Anti-Jews, 666 and he murdered 6,000,000 innocent Jews in the 40s. I am talking about 6,000,000 people. If Hitler is not the Anti-Christ then who is the Anti-Jews.

As Creator of the FORCE, I will say something about Revelation Chapter 12. The woman is the Walking Liberty and I am the [BABY GOD], Messiah, Man-child, 999, KING OF KINGS, and once America reveals me to the world, the [Western Dragon] evil Seven Head Dragon [terrorists] wil do anything to terminate me [MAN-CHILD].

The first digit of Satan 666 is a deadly warning from God, now the second digit of Satan 6,000,000,000 people and the KING OF KINGS, James MacDouglas Kwok Wah Li was born. The last digit of Satan number [666] is 6,000,000,000,000 people and they will resurrect me [YOUNG GOD] with complete memory of the past, and no pain, because I am the only one can settle the SuperProblem of the Great Battle, approximately 1000 years from now. Fidel Castro only scares (handwritten "of") the Messiah in the entire world

Hunter College is determined 6,000,000,000 people right now.

James Li, KING OF KINGS, 999, Messiah.
When I first saw that, I almost pissed myself. I've known dumb fundies, but this.... :lol:

Note how he grows consistently incoherent as his brain grows tired from all the thinking.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
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Col. Crackpot
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

:shock: i'm at a loss for words here..... :wtf:
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Post by Gil Hamilton »

Dude! Where did you get that? That's awesome! :lol:
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Post by General Zod »

:wtf:
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Post by LadyTevar »

:shock:

That's just.... Stupidity is not the word.... What's worse than that?
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Post by Mlenk »

It's mind numbingly hilarious, that's what it is. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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fgalkin2
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Post by fgalkin2 »

There were more, but this one was the best. I'll post any more hilarious ones. The other pamphlets mostly talked about the super religion of the FORCE (Lucas should sue his sorry ass).

Have a very nice day.
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Post by IndustrialNoise »

:wtf: :lol:

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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

What's his message supposed to be: that he knows of all this stuff, or that you shouldn't smoke crack because you'd end up like him if you did?

I mean, I could have taken something in English, translated it into Spanish, French, German, Russian, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Latin, and back to English, and it would still be more coherent than that.
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IndustrialNoise
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Post by IndustrialNoise »

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:What's his message supposed to be: that he knows of all this stuff, or that you shouldn't smoke crack because you'd end up like him if you did?
I think he intended for the first message, but it came out as the second.:wtf:

And he has to be doing way more than crack.
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Where the hell did you get that?!?
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Post by haas mark »

Scan it? Please? For posterity???

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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Hitler couldn't have been THE Antichrist, because the events described in Revelation haven't occured.
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Post by GySgt. Hartman »

Do you know this guy? Do you know what stuff he used before he wrote that? I want some of that.
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Post by Peregrin Toker »

Are you sure this is the weirdest cult propaganda material ever?

"Lemuria & Atlantis: History Rewritten" certainly gives this fgalkin's pamphlet a run for its money.

EDIT: Link fixed!
Last edited by Peregrin Toker on 2004-02-15 06:06am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Peregrin Toker wrote:Are you sure this is the weirdest cult propaganda material ever?

"Lemuria & Atlantis: History Rewritten" certainly gives this fgalkin's pamphlet a run for its money.
All I'm getting is ads for some new-agey-sounding nonsense on the top. Nothing else loads. What does it say, basically?
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Post by RedImperator »

LadyTevar wrote::shock:

That's just.... Stupidity is not the word.... What's worse than that?
Batshit crazy seems approppriate.
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Post by Straha »

Where/how'd you get it?
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Post by dworkin »

Peregrin Toker wrote:Are you sure this is the weirdest cult propaganda material ever?

"Lemuria & Atlantis: History Rewritten" certainly gives this fgalkin's pamphlet a run for its money.
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Post by AnimeJet »

o_O
lol.. okay *walks away*
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Post by CDiehl »

To paraphrase Will Ferrell, that is so scrumtrellescently dumb, I can hardly move. Do any of those sentences form any sort of argument? Are we sure this is not a spoof of kooky cult pamphlets?
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Post by Sarevok »

Actualy there are even dumber stuff out there. See www.crank.net for details or search google for "planet X".
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Post by Peregrin Toker »

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Peregrin Toker wrote:Are you sure this is the weirdest cult propaganda material ever?

"Lemuria & Atlantis: History Rewritten" certainly gives this fgalkin's pamphlet a run for its money.
All I'm getting is ads for some new-agey-sounding nonsense on the top. Nothing else loads. What does it say, basically?
Oops! It was supposed to link to a review of a strange, strange book published by "Yahweh's New Kingdom", an all-but-defunct cult whose beliefs include reincarnation, space aliens, talking horses, white supremacy, vegetarianism, King Kull and a lot of other hokey nonsense.
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fgalkin2
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Post by fgalkin2 »

The Moron Strikes Back!
Wednesdat, February 11, 2004.

FORCE is dealing with Sciences and the Knowledge in our Universe. You are in Hunter College because you want to learn about Knowledge, and that is the Nature of the SuperReligion called the FORCE.

Iam the Creator of the SuperReligion called the FORCE. FORCE will unify all religions in the World itno One World Religion in the future.

As the KING OF KINGS, 999, Messiah, BABY GOD, MAN-CHILD, and James MacDouglas Kwok Wah Li, I have the FORCE [HOLY SPIRIT] and I do not belive anybody in the world has the FORCE [HOLY SPIRIT] or this peson can be the KING OF KINGS.

Again, I called up the Department of the Energy of the United States to inform them about a new SuperEnergy, whether they like it or not.

Why I am here? I think the Earth is on the verge of total destruction that is why I am here. For example, I could be ON THE EARTH before World War 2 to stop this guy called Hitler, but World War 2 really had no danger to the existence of Earth.

NOW, WHETHER EARTH WILL EXIST IN THE FUTURE OR NOT IS A DIFFICULT QUESTION? I AM NOT TALKINGABOUT JUST 6 BILLION PEOPLE OR 9 BILLION PEOPLE, AND I AM TALKING ABOUT, {EXISTENCEOF THE EARTH IN THIS STAR SYSTEM IN THE FUTURE}. I DO NOT KNOW?

KING OF KINGS, 999, MESSIAH, BABY GOD, MAN-CHILD [1-212-964-1897]
James MacDouglas Kwok Wah Li
Someone call him collect from Europe. :twisted:

Have a very nice day.
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Peregrin Toker
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Post by Peregrin Toker »

Now I at least have a clue what he's trying to say, though it still confuses the hell out of me?
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