Screwball tactics against the Federation

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-02-16 07:35am

In loving satire of the whacky tactics suggested by Trekkie newbes, from transporting a bomb into the bridge to quantum blah blah blah= UBER!, let's compile together an Imperial version.

1. Death Star
Send the Death Star into LEO.Since the Death Star is the size of a small moon, the gravitational forces the Death Star will tear apart buildings, cause massive earthquakes and tidal waves, maybe even volcanoes erupting and the like. Not to mention, it should be fun watching the sun block out as the Death Star crosses the horizon.

2. Send a atmosphere capable starship like the VSD into the planet toposphere, and ignite the main sublight engines. The massive amounts of hot, fast ejecta coming out from those sublight drives should incinerate any person in that face of the planet.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-02-16 07:58am

Go shoot a HTL at the South Pole and watch as stupid redshirts digging in for an AT-AT attack go "blub blub blub".

BDZ the moon, except concentrate all shots at a single one inch wide point. This should put enough energy on a single point to push the moon into Earth and WHAM!!! Or modify a DS II to carry a uber tractor beam and reverse the beam's polarity with some technobabble solution and push the moon at Earth.

Crash a Death Star at Earth!!!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-02-16 08:07am

No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-16 10:33am

Kamikaze ISD's , not very subtle but efficient

(http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=39945)

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-02-16 10:53am

wautd wrote:Kamikaze ISD's , not very subtle but efficient

(http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=39945)

Tragically, that's a tactic proposed by Admiral Daala.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-16 11:00am

Tow a few disabled Borg cubes into Federation space, and offer to sell them some space junk they just created...

Prove your superior medical technology; Cure Pichards baldness

Drop off 100,000 Ewoks. If they can massacare the Imperial army, imagine them fightin red-shirts

Tell them it's not an invasion, it's a police action. They appear to be using technology stolen from a museum that specialized in the time period between -27000 and -22000 Pre Imperial Date.

Bring back Kulamni battleships, and start tossing 50 meter asteroids at Federation planets

Use a biological weapon to put every Betazoid in the Federation into 'Phase'. Take over during the massive ensuing orgy

Show them Risa is nothing. Give them 100 Twi'lek and Zeltron dancing girls...

Prove you believe in equality. Start BDZing every Federation world at the same time.

Drop off the mutated Rancor from jedi Academy. Watch the fun ensue

Offer every Starship captain and crew that surrenders there own Star Destroyer to run, and explain that Imperial power sources don't explode easily. Watch the massive defection.

Weapons of Mass Destruction;
Sneeze on the Warp Cores

Surround the Sun in an Orbital Nightcloak.
Possible addition: Use a Resonator Torpedo on the Nightcloaked Sun. Watch the expression on there faces as the Supernova suddenly flies out.

To Evil for even a Sith Lord to use:
Tell them the invasion is in response to Janeway blinding the Emperor while in the Delta Quadrant, by flashing her chest at him. Everyone in Starfleet with dig there own eyeballs out trying to remove the mental image, leaving a blind military screaming to die to be put out of there missery.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-16 11:11am

n00b question: BDZ = ...? (something with bombarding i presume)

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-02-16 11:36am

Base Delta Zero. The melting of an entire planetary crust down to an unspecified depth, but enough to kill all life.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-16 12:42pm

NecronLord wrote:
wautd wrote:Kamikaze ISD's , not very subtle but efficient

(http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=39945)
Tragically, that's a tactic proposed by Admiral Daala.

Against a planet, not individual ships.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-16 04:59pm

Rogue 9 wrote:
NecronLord wrote:
wautd wrote:Kamikaze ISD's , not very subtle but efficient

(http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=39945)
Tragically, that's a tactic proposed by Admiral Daala.
Against a planet, not individual ships.

thats what he meant

still its sick tough

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-02-16 06:49pm

Rogue 9 wrote: Against a planet, not individual ships.

Which is what wautd was talking about.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-16 07:13pm

Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.

Are we sure?

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-16 07:15pm

Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Are we sure?

Yes, given the disparity in numbers...a 1:1 death, however improbable, would make the Federation shit a brick when the odds are easily in the 100:1 odds.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-16 07:17pm

Ghost Rider wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Are we sure?
Yes, given the disparity in numbers...a 1:1 death, however improbable, would make the Federation shit a brick when the odds are easily in the 100:1 odds.

No, I meant are we sure we're talking about planets? They said he was talking about ramming planets when he clearly was not. I know that the Imperial fleet vastly outnumbers Starfleet.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-16 07:24pm

Rogue 9 wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote: Are we sure?
Yes, given the disparity in numbers...a 1:1 death, however improbable, would make the Federation shit a brick when the odds are easily in the 100:1 odds.
No, I meant are we sure we're talking about planets? They said he was talking about ramming planets when he clearly was not. I know that the Imperial fleet vastly outnumbers Starfleet.

So did you read Necron's statement?

At all?

Or you combing gandalf and Necron's...since Necron's refers to wautd's and Gandalf's doesn't or did that fly by your head jackass?

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2004-02-17 12:33am

That one about Janeway blinding the Emperor was too funny...

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-17 03:19am

Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.

Wouldnt the fed ships just dodge those ISD?

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-17 03:28am

wautd wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Wouldnt the fed ships just dodge those ISD?

Not at the speeds most ISDs go at.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-02-17 03:36am

Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Are we sure?

He's talking about planets there. Ramming ISDs into fed ships is somewhere else.

Go check the post I quoted, and you will find that it was talking about ISDs crashing into planets. Read the link he supplied. Sheesh, you're the first one who posts in that thread...

In fact, here:

wautd wrote:Kamikaze ISD's , not very subtle but efficient

( http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=39945 )

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-17 03:48am

NecronLord wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Are we sure?
He's talking about planets there. Ramming ISDs into fed ships is somewhere else.

Go check the post I quoted, and you will find that it was talking about ISDs crashing into planets. Read the link he supplied. Sheesh, you're the first one who posts in that thread...

In fact, here:

wautd wrote:Kamikaze ISD's , not very subtle but efficient

(http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=39945)

i probably should placed than link between "()"

Say cant you edit your post?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-02-17 03:55am

Ghost Rider wrote:
wautd wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Wouldnt the fed ships just dodge those ISD?
Not at the speeds most ISDs go at.

If they can go at the speeds Jem' Hadar beetles go at, the feds are screwed.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-17 03:59am

Gandalf wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:
wautd wrote: Wouldnt the fed ships just dodge those ISD?
Not at the speeds most ISDs go at.
If they can go at the speeds Jem' Hadar beetles go at, the feds are screwed.

Then the Feds are screwed.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2004-02-17 04:03am

wautd wrote:Say cant you edit your post?

Only my own posts in this forum I'm afraid.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-02-17 04:18am

Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote: Not at the speeds most ISDs go at.
If they can go at the speeds Jem' Hadar beetles go at, the feds are screwed.
Then the Feds are screwed.

Eh?

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-17 04:22am

Tell Black Sun (or any other large criminal organization, for that matter) that there's an incredible investment opportunity in the Alpha Quadrant.