Barbie and Ken broke up

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-02-19 04:21am

After 43 years, Barbie and Ken have broken up. Barbie has a new guy. An "Australian Boogie-Boarder."

http://www.wtvo.com/Global/story.asp?S=1644097

Now, tell me why the hell would Mattel do this to their product? If they just married Barbie and Ken, it would be the biggest selling collector's edition of a doll ever made.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-02-19 04:24am

This is guaranteed to be as much of a fiasco as "G.I. Joe: Extreme".

I don't know why, I just have the feeling.

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2004-02-19 04:24am

To make a Barbie divorce doll?

Or perhaps Ken discovered that she ain't a virgin?

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2004-02-19 04:28am

Maybe Ken's really gay and got shot for coming on to Action Man...the greatest hero of them all...

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-02-19 04:31am

Dorsk 81 wrote:Maybe Ken's really gay and got shot for coming on to Action Man...the greatest hero of them all...

Actually, one or two years ago a danish punk/thrash band called Red Warszawa made a song about Ken being gay. Is it there you got the idea?

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2004-02-19 04:35am

Peregrin Toker wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Maybe Ken's really gay and got shot for coming on to Action Man...the greatest hero of them all...
Actually, one or two years ago a danish punk/thrash band called Red Warszawa made a song about Ken being gay. Is it there you got the idea?

Nope, I was just having an idea for a gay doll franchise and Einy better not steal my idea!...

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-19 04:35am

Ken being a queer is actually a rather old joke.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-02-19 11:16am

Faram wrote:To make a Barbie divorce doll?

Ken and Barbie never got married.

Or perhaps Ken discovered that she ain't a virgin?

More likely.

TheDarkling · Post by **TheDarkling** » 2004-02-19 12:02pm

Faram wrote:To make a Barbie divorce doll?

Or perhaps Ken discovered that she ain't a virgin?

It is quite obvious Barbie is an upscale prostitute, did you really think she had about 50 different jobs as opposed to role playing during her single profession.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-19 12:07pm

hehehehe.

I just had a thought

the newsline should have read
'Ken leaves Barbie, realises her body is fake'

Okay, sorry, BAD Joke.

This is proably a PR stunt of shorts, that will be followed by a reunion and marriage.

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2004-02-19 01:19pm

Rumor has it they broke up after Barbie found out Ken was strip-club hopping with Ben Aflick.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2004-02-19 01:24pm

they should have made barbie a horny lesbian and give her a bunch of hot lesbian lovers so they can gang up in some hot lesbian group orgies.

or maybe not.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-19 02:26pm

My older sister's Ken was pretty much Barbie and the other gals' gimp.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-02-19 04:43pm

It's obvious that Ken caught Barbie with GI Joe in his "Kung-fu Grip".

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-02-19 11:16pm

Peregrin Toker wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Maybe Ken's really gay and got shot for coming on to Action Man...the greatest hero of them all...
Actually, one or two years ago a danish punk/thrash band called Red Warszawa made a song about Ken being gay. Is it there you got the idea?

The "Barbie Girl" song that was a hit several years back is coming to my mind, and that song annoyed the hell out of me (and just about everyone, for that matter).

I guess Barbie just felt that Ken was leeching off of her success, as he's been an astronaut, businesswoman, doctor, and figure skater, and what has Ken done?

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2004-02-19 11:28pm

Australian Boogie-Boarder?

Yes, we shall implant even more lame-brained cliched OC-er teen femwank fetishes into little girls.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2004-02-20 02:44am

Blain? Who the hell names their kid Blain.

Though, it would be cooler if he looked like Jesse Ventura. That would be sweet.

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-02-20 03:04am

What the heck is an "Australian Boogie-Boarder" ?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-20 03:09am

A surfer.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2004-02-20 03:23am

They're obviously hopping on the "divorce, break-up, and scandals bring publicity" bandwagon.

Feeding on the misery of others.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-02-20 03:53am

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Australian Boogie-Boarder?

Yes, we shall implant even more lame-brained cliched OC-er teen femwank fetishes into little girls.

That's what sickens me most about the whole issue. It's a ridiculous stunt.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-02-20 04:57am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Peregrin Toker wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Maybe Ken's really gay and got shot for coming on to Action Man...the greatest hero of them all...
Actually, one or two years ago a danish punk/thrash band called Red Warszawa made a song about Ken being gay. Is it there you got the idea?
The "Barbie Girl" song that was a hit several years back is coming to my mind, and that song annoyed the hell out of me (and just about everyone, for that matter).

That was by Aqua, and Red Warszawa would be very angry if you ever compared them to Aqua.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-02-20 10:14am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:A surfer.

a wussy surfer if he's only using a boogy board.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-02-20 02:41pm

Oddly enough, no one has mentioned the theory that Barbie got tired of Ken not having functional genitalia (or any at all, for that matter) and decided to shack up with a guy she could have some real fun with.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-02-20 02:43pm

and she's supposed to have functional genetalia?