How Do People Miss?!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-02-20 09:44am

Ok, this is something I've been pondering for a while, ever since my highschool drafting teacher brought it up. Under every single men's urinal I've ever seen, there's a puddle of piss. Every single one unless the floor's just been mopped. I can't understand it, you're standing right in front of the fucking urinal, how the fuck does one miss and end up dripping piss under it?

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2004-02-20 09:45am

I would like an answer to this, as well, in regards to private bathrooms.

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2004-02-20 09:54am

My first instinct would be to blame alcohol, but most of it's probably down to lack of concentration.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-02-20 09:56am

Because they're all fucking losers since I long perfected my jet aiming technique. If I held it in for long enough, I could knock a tin can off a wall at 100 metres.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-02-20 10:11am

old men with prostate problems i guess.

on a side note have you ever seen a woman try and use a urinal? funny as hell. it happens at concerts all the time. women have to piss, the line at the ladies room is too long, the alcohol kicks in, next thing you know there are woman squating over the urinals.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2004-02-20 10:15am

Ah, the mystery of the penis stream missing the urinal. Sort of like missing the broad side of a barn walking toward it with your head turned the other direction. Well, there are many possibilities, but after some research I have narrowed them down to the following.

1) Duel streams. Every guy knows about this one. You whip it out, start to leak and instead of one stream you get two. Of course two streams canot be controlled so you stop and shake, thus getting your one back. By that time, though, it's too late. You've marked the wall, floor, friend, etc...

2) Trying to pee with a boner. This sucks and usually occurs when you get up in the morning. Sometimes your bladder just cannot wait so you try to aim, but it's futile. You have, once again, marked a territory other than your own.

3) Hypospadias. Peope with hypospadias are freaks that should be run out of town and laughed at as much as possible. They are obviously not humans, or even human like. (that was a joke...)

4) Purposely peeing on the floor. Just like our ape-like ancestors, some men still feel the primal urge to pee wherever they feel like peeing. Who needs society telling us where to pee?

If these guys who miss the urinal would just pee in the sink like I do, we wouldn't have these problems.

KhyronTheBackstabber · Post by **KhyronTheBackstabber** » 2004-02-20 10:21am

This reminds me of a picture a friend of mine had in his bathroom. It said something like "If you have a short bat, please crowd the plate."

Sometime there are miss fires. You think your aim is true, then all of the sudden, the stream fires off axis. WTF.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2004-02-20 10:21am

YOU MUSTN'T CROSS THE STREAMS!

GySgt. Hartman · Post by **GySgt. Hartman** » 2004-02-20 10:28am

I can't confirm that observation. It is only very rarely that I see that which you described, mostly on partys or concerts.

KhyronTheBackstabber · Post by **KhyronTheBackstabber** » 2004-02-20 10:28am

Superman wrote:
1) Duel streams. Every guy knows about this one. You whip it out, start to leak and instead of one stream you get two. Of course two streams canot be controlled so you stop and shake, thus getting your one back. By that time, though, it's too late. You've marked the wall, floor, friend, etc...

Indeed, the dreaded, Holy Shit, I just pissed all over the back of the seat lid, and wall at the same time, split stream.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2004-02-20 10:33am

Sometimes it's worse than just 2 streams, sometimes it can find the most splatterd way out, and come out as like a cone, rather than just a stream, this then usually rectifies itself, but there are spots around the whole area.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-02-20 10:48am

The puddle could be build up from back splash from people pissing too forcefully in a less than ideal portion of the urinal.

I think most of it comes from the dribble though. When guys are finishing off and the flow pressure drops so they dribble on the edge of the urinal/toilet and eventually that all eventually collects into a puddle on the floor.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-02-20 11:13am

also keep in mind that post-orgasm can result in things like multi-streams and the like if there's any semen still left inside. and the after-stream shake is always the worst. it's not exactly easy to control where the drops fly when you're out of pressure.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-02-20 11:25am

In public urinals and toilets some piss everywhere like the pigs they are,they piss on the floor on purpose or on the toilet seat,even worse some shit on it.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-02-20 01:41pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Because they're all fucking losers since I long perfected my jet aiming technique. If I held it in for long enough, I could knock a tin can off a wall at 100 metres.

If I hold mine in for long enough, I could knock down a helicopter at 500 meters.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-20 01:43pm

Oh great, a real pissing contest.

Korvan · Post by **Korvan** » 2004-02-20 01:53pm

KhyronTheBackstabber wrote: Sometime there are miss fires. You think your aim is true, then all of the sudden, the stream fires off axis. WTF.

Hmm, off axis aiming, missing targets at extremely close range... I think we've just discovered the inspiration for Next Gen's hand phaser.

Mlenk · Post by **Mlenk** » 2004-02-20 01:54pm

Superman wrote: 4) Purposely peeing on the floor. Just like our ape-like ancestors, some men still feel the primal urge to pee wherever they feel like peeing. Who needs society telling us where to pee?

When I was in high school I actually knew quite a few idiots who liked to do that. There were even others who liked to take a shit in a cup and throw it all over the walls and floor.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2004-02-20 01:56pm

Well fine, if I held mine in long enough and happened to be leaning on the Death Star's superlaser ignition lever at the time I could blow up this whole god damn planet...

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-02-20 02:25pm

It's the off-axis thing. No other likely explanation.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2004-02-20 02:54pm

It just happens! You get ti out, but when you start the stream comes out at a weird angle! You correct it, but you ahve to keep it corrected as the stream gradually goes back to normal. It's well annoying!

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2004-02-20 03:07pm

aerius wrote:Ok, this is something I've been pondering for a while, ever since my highschool drafting teacher brought it up. Under every single men's urinal I've ever seen, there's a puddle of piss. Every single one unless the floor's just been mopped. I can't understand it, you're standing right in front of the fucking urinal, how the fuck does one miss and end up dripping piss under it?

I think it's the effect of a stream starting low-power, then going high power (so as to be effectively an almost straight line) to losing power again. If you look at it in slow-motion, it's something like this:

Code: Select all

O  . 
#/  .
LL   . U

O  . .
#/     .   (main loop)
LL     U

O  . 
#/  .
LL   . U

O  . 
#/ .
LL .   U

We don't realize it, but our stream has to start low, and slowly climb up into the full stream we all know and love. But this charging-up only lasts a few milliseconds, to fast for the mortal eye to see.

Also the stream itself isn't perfectly self contained and coherent like a laser, so it still sprays a little bit around. It all depends on how close people like to be to the urinal.

Hamel · Post by **Hamel** » 2004-02-20 03:35pm

I hate urinals~ It's like pissing into the wind

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-02-20 03:44pm

Ever had two beams come out NINETY DEGREES from each other? Impossible to aim with that, even when sitting!

Worse: When the beams just will not merge into one beam no matter what. Particularly tight briefs greatly exacerbate this effect proportional to how long it was since last time you peed too...

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-02-20 04:50pm

Hamel wrote:I hate urinals~ It's like pissing into the wind

And some urinals have a very unfortunate design that ricochets a p beam essentially right back where it came from (as well as everywhere else). The three-foot-tall wall urinals don't have this problem, particularly old ones that leak a thin sheet of water down the face of the urinal. Those tend to have no backsplatter problems

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How Do People Miss?!

How Do People Miss?!

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