Should there be classes on how to date?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-22 02:04am

The objective of high school is to educate people and prepare them for the real world, right? Well, how many people graduate high school with no relationship skills? Would it make sense to have a "relationship skills" class in high school? It would presumably discuss dating dynamics, common sources of relationship failure, sources of marital problems, how to plan a wedding, how to identify and remedy sexual dysfunction in long-term relationships, relationship changes after childbirth, etc.

Of course, one might say that certain things can't be taught in school, and to a certain extent, that's true. But there are a lot of things that can be taught. For example, if nothing else, such a class would tend to stimulate class discussion about the different reactions of girls and boys to dating scenarios, in which insights might be revealed that would otherwise be cloaked in the veil of subterfuge and posturing that accompanies normal boy/girl interactions in high school.

While it's true that you can only learn certain things through experience, knowledge does not hurt. What do you think? Is this idea crazy?

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2004-02-22 02:11am

This seems like a great idea, really. Even if you were already on the dating scene, it would make things more obvious. I, for one, remember how many things were cloaked in secrecy simply because no one ever talked about them.

Plus, with the general hands-off approach most parents employ, you really don't know how to resolve those bigger humps like sexual problems.

If implemented, this class would be invaluable.

justifier · Post by **justifier** » 2004-02-22 02:22am

How would such a class be graded though? Tests could only deal which certain questions which are not opinion questions, and many of those covered in current health classes. Do you propose such a class be manditory or elective?

Robert Walper · Post by **Robert Walper** » 2004-02-22 02:23am

Plus, with the general hands-off approach most parents employ, you really don't know how to resolve those bigger humps like sexual problems.

...Sexual problems suggests there are any humps going on...

Seriously though, this does seem like a really good idea. Though I seriously doubt society will be implementing it any time soon, which is the typical fate of most good ideas.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-22 02:23am

justifier wrote:How would such a class be graded though? Tests could only deal which certain questions which are not opinion questions, and many of those covered in current health classes. Do you propose such a class be manditory or elective?

Obviously, you would write essays. It's like asking how you go about grading an English class. Yes, it's subjective. No way to really fix that, but the point remains that most kids would learn things in that class that they would not otherwise know.

You can also have tests on particular pieces of knowledge, such as they do in other subjective fields like sociology or psychology (and yes, I know somebody will chime in to say that they're not subjective; please don't hijack this thread with such nonsense).

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2004-02-22 02:26am

It would have been more useful than home-ec, I'll say that much.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-22 02:27am

I'm incredibly bashful around girls. I could have used that.

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2004-02-22 02:28am

justifier wrote:How would such a class be graded though?

Oral Exams.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-02-22 02:30am

This is a good idea. Certainly something I can use right now.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2004-02-22 02:32am

SeebianWurm wrote:
justifier wrote:How would such a class be graded though?
Oral Exams.

Does that involve getting head from the class hottie?

Seriously though, what do you mean, like they'd ask you questions a date might and you'd have to have prepared a suitable response or something?

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2004-02-22 02:34am

Illuminatus Primus wrote:
SeebianWurm wrote:
justifier wrote:How would such a class be graded though?
Oral Exams.
Does that involve getting head from the class hottie?

Seriously though, what do you mean, like they'd ask you questions a date might and you'd have to have prepared a suitable response or something?

No, I pretty much meant getting head from the class hottie.

This subject is a veritable pun minefield.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-02-22 02:36am

When would you have such clases? Are you trying to help kids already in relationships as well as prepare them for adulthood? If so I think high-school would be a little late, as most students would be highly jaded on such issues.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-22 02:37am

Lazy Raptor wrote:When would you have such clases? Are you trying to help kids already in relationships as well as prepare them for adulthood? If so I think high-school would be a little late, as most students would be highly jaded on such issues.

No, they might be somewhat experienced but they would not know what they're doing. Of course, I recognize that most high school students think they know what they're doing, but they don't. Really, anyone who doubts that people need help in this area need only look at the divorce rate.

PrinceofLowLight · Post by **PrinceofLowLight** » 2004-02-22 02:37am

Isn't this what they used to teach in the old home economics class?

This is something that works in theory, but wouldn't fly in reality. High School students have enough problems taking serious, objective classes seriously.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-02-22 02:38am

This is a great idea. Seriously, this is the kind of thing schools should offer for their students. I know I could have used a subject like this - but I'm sure a lot of kids would have, so that's not saying anything new.

SWPIGWANG · Post by **SWPIGWANG** » 2004-02-22 02:40am

it has something to do with s-x, so there you go.

Anyway, wouldn't have helped me at all.

nuff said

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-22 02:42am

PrinceofLowLight wrote:Isn't this what they used to teach in the old home economics class?

This is something that works in theory, but wouldn't fly in reality. High School students have enough problems taking serious, objective classes seriously.

They can buckle down to study "Romeo and Juliet" but not a serious examination of common causes of real relationship and dating failure and how to avoid them?

Think of it as a specialized sociology class, not a date play-acting class (which is probably what you're envisioning).

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2004-02-22 02:46am

Darth Wong wrote:No, they might be somewhat experienced but they would not know what they're doing. Of course, I recognize that most high school students think they know what they're doing, but they don't. Really, anyone who doubts that people need help in this area need only look at the divorce rate.

The reason I ask is that by the time some kids reach high school they're already in really bad codependent relationships. My school is kind of a bad example but stuff like that was already happening in junior high. Would elementary be too early to start courses like this?

I kind of have a hard time believing kids would get anything out of it. Again, going by my school it's fair to say exactly 0% would take it seriously. I have an even harder time believing the parents would allow such a thing. They're already up in arms over sex-ed. I can't imagine what they would be doing if schools were teaching kids how to go after SOs.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-22 02:51am

Lazy Raptor wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:No, they might be somewhat experienced but they would not know what they're doing. Of course, I recognize that most high school students think they know what they're doing, but they don't. Really, anyone who doubts that people need help in this area need only look at the divorce rate.
The reason I ask is that by the time some kids reach high school they're already in really bad codependent relationships. My school is kind of a bad example but stuff like that was already happening in junior high. Would elementary be too early to start courses like this?

Probably too early. In some ways it's actually beneficial to have some portion of the student body which is able to directly relate bad experiences as they relate to poor relationship communication, etc.

I kind of have a hard time believing kids would get anything out of it. Again, going by my school it's fair to say exactly 0% would take it seriously.

That would depend on how it is presented. Start with something like a case study describing good and bad methods of resolving a marital dispute involving money or a child's education or the psychological nature of codependent relationships and move to dating dynamics later, once they already take the class somewhat seriously.

I have an even harder time believing the parents would allow such a thing. They're already up in arms over sex-ed. I can't imagine what they would be doing if schools were teaching kids how to go after SOs.

Well, that would be a potential hurdle, although I can see some parents who violently oppose sex-education not objecting to this.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2004-02-22 03:02am

While I think this is a good idea, schools would so uniformly reject it and not take it seriously that it would have little actual impact on kids' lives. Football coaches would be removed from Math classes only to be shoved into the newly-formed "Relationships Class," and anyone else unqualified to teach a real course would move into it. While this may help the other classes by removing underqualified teachers, it would quickly turn the new class into a joke.

That being said, I think it is important for students to learn about relationships in school, and I think that this is a good idea. I don't think it would face the kind of parental opposition that sex-ed classes reveal (although you never know with fundies....), and if it were presented properly and taught well it might actually make a difference in kids' lives.

dworkin · Post by **dworkin** » 2004-02-22 03:19am

Why not expand it? Call it Urban Survival Skills. It can be part of Health&Phys Ed.

Things like: Dating skills, What a bank loan/mortgage is, How your central and local governments work, budgeting, working with people and dealing with government figures (eg The Police).

Things everyone needs to know.
Leven the whole lot with the idea of taking responsiability for your actions and their consequences and you'ld have a good class. It doesn't need a pass/fail at the end. Becoming a responsable adult is the pass grade desired.

The problem is from all the moaning minnies who'll whine:

You're teaching our kids how to have sex!
You're shoving you're culture down our kids throats!
I never needed to learn that in school!
I don't want my children taught atheistic lies!

(Which are the current whines about health and sex-ed in NZ. Bastards would revolt if we proposed teaching their darlings to be responsable in and about the society they are part of)

And unfortunatly, such oxygen thieves are allowed to vote, speak and we are not allowed to shoot them. Such is the price of my being allowed to vote, speak and not be shot I guess.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2004-02-22 03:44am

I don't think it is a crazy idea. Learning to communicate effectively with another person in a close relationship is not easy or intuitive. My high school did offer a class similar to this, but it was an elective. Actually there were two classes like this. One focused more on family skills, and the other was more focused on sex ed. I took the sex ed class.

As an adult Ive begun to realize how imporant a job parents and teachers have in shaping a childs life. You can't teach them everything, but if you give them the right building blocks they will have a much better chance in life.

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2004-02-22 03:46am

After reading the OP, I can't help but ask the question:

Feel like you missed out on something in high school, Wong?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-22 03:48am

Queeb Salaron wrote:After reading the OP, I can't help but ask the question:

Feel like you missed out on something in high school, Wong?

I learned all of that stuff the hard way. I don't see why everyone should have to learn it that way.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2004-02-22 04:18am

PrinceofLowLight wrote:This is something that works in theory, but wouldn't fly in reality. High School students have enough problems taking serious, objective classes seriously.

Thats an artifact of the crap US educational system.