Screwball tactics against the Federation

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-17 04:26am

Gandalf wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote: If they can go at the speeds Jem' Hadar beetles go at, the feds are screwed.
Then the Feds are screwed.
Eh?

You heard me. Star Destroyers really tool along when they put their engines into it. Not like they need it, the Feds are screwed anyway.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2004-02-17 04:30am

Rogue 9 wrote:
Gandalf wrote:
Rogue 9 wrote: Then the Feds are screwed.
Eh?
You heard me. Star Destroyers really tool along when they put their engines into it. Not like they need it, the Feds are screwed anyway.

What got me was that you repeated a sentence I just wrote, just confused me, that's all.

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-02-17 04:36am

Crayz9000 wrote:Tell Black Sun (or any other large criminal organization, for that matter) that there's an incredible investment opportunity in the Alpha Quadrant.

Bring the Hutts in

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-17 08:08am

A) Migrate Gungans. Federation see them as powerfull allies

B) By an odd twist of fate there's a Jar-Jar Binks type Gungan roaming near the warp core of every Federation ship

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-02-17 09:55am

1. Empty the Death Star hypermatter energy output into a planet atmosphere. Watch the temperature goes up a few thousand degrees.

2. An Interdictor was supposed to have been powerful enough to manipulate Sernipdal moon orbit.

3. Use ISDs to replicate the nightcloak.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-17 11:02am

EmperorMing wrote:That one about Janeway blinding the Emperor was too funny...

Thank you, Thank you

I can see the scenario for that now.

Post ROTJ (with an Imperial victory) The Empire is attacked by the Vong, and then by the Borg. The Empire traces the Borg back to there galaxy and starts kickign there ass, and happen upon Voyager.
Palpatine is there supervising the conquest of the Delta Quadrant, and Janeway asks to meet him.
Palpatine is intrigued, humans in an alien galaxy.
They meet, discuss possible allied status, and Janeway asks to be helped home.
The Emperor wants to know why he would
Janeway drops her top as an insentive offer
The Emperor screams in terror clutching his eyes at the sight,
The royal gaurdsman come to see the problem, and there brains hemorage at the visage.
Only Darth Vader can take it, because his helmet has built in filters for that kind of thing, but the shock is still enough to knock him backwards.
Janeway does up her top and leaves the throne room
The emperor let's himself blow up and moves into a clone. But the image is still there. Many months and many clone deaths later, he's finally shaken in...

"We must destroy the Federation for the safety of the universe Lord Vader, before that woman disrobes again!"

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-02-17 03:59pm

Bring in a fleet of millions(or billions, what the hell) of huge transports with military shields, and drain the oceans of every Federation planet, while ignoring all hostile action. Turn these oceans into massive super-dense ice asteroids, and return them to their home planets at high speed.

Set the Suncrusher on autopilot to ram anything with a power signature until the Federation gives up.

Send an armada of World Devastators to eat various satellites in Fed systems, screwing up the tides and causing massive disruption.

Use modified superlasers to sign "Property of the Galactic Empire" on every planet, moon, and space station. Make a point of having a power surge when signing Ferenginaar to blow up the planet to make your point.

Threaten to establish peaceful relations, using Gungans as the only contacts with the Feds if they don't surrender.

Have Admiral Daala defect to the Federation side.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2004-02-17 09:26pm

Roll the DS along the surface of the Earth. It would look so cool.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2004-02-17 10:00pm

consequences wrote:Set the Suncrusher on autopilot to ram anything with a power signature until the Federation gives up.

Or you could build dozens of Sun Crushers and have them kamikaze targets of strategic importance.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-17 10:09pm

The Ultimate Screw ball tactic vs the Federation:

Give them a Death Star, and then tell the Rebellion about it....

The rebellion blows it up, and wipes out most of Starfleet's best and brightess

PackMule · Post by **PackMule** » 2004-02-18 03:25am

Program a single R2 droid with a mission to take over as much of the galaxy as possible, and drop him somewhere in Borg space, with a repeating "distress" call.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-18 04:23pm

Something to amuze Palpatine: breed abducted Borg with Ewoks. I think Ewok Borg zombies roaming alpha quadrant is a funny yet deadly sight.

Drop some AT-AT's at earth stripped from their weapons. Because of their "Jerk"nature, man it with Tusken Raiders to run amok.

justifier · Post by **justifier** » 2004-02-23 12:35am

YT300000 wrote:Roll the DS along the surface of the Earth. It would look so cool.

*Has flashback of when Invader Zim did that with Mars*

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-23 02:41am

Allow the Orion's and The Ferengi into the Blacksun, for a serious "Take"

Even with that cramping their style they will now have access to more firepower then anything in the AQ That should solve the poblem, and besides they will be spending the next 1000 years paying off that loan....

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-02-23 09:03am

1. Empty the full power output of the Death Star hypermatter reactor into the atmosphere of a planet. Barbecued fried Vulcans never tasted crispier.
(Note to self: Sell franchise rights to Ferengi)

2. Utilise Death Star tractor beams on Federation ships to play intrastellar billards.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-23 12:37pm

Fire a Galaxy Gun missile at Earth, have it explode in Confetti over the planet, after hailing 'you know, we COULD have loaded this up with biological weapons ya know....'

Fire a Galaxy Gun missile at Vulcan, full of water. Drown the vulcans.

Have a single Super Star Destroyer slowly edge it's way towards Earth ala a Borg cube, but slower. Let Starfleet and it's allies send hundreds of ships to fight it. Let them try to stop the Super Star Destroyer all they want, and just use the anti-Starfighter weapons on them. As there ships run out of weapons/fuel, Ion cannon them (anti-Starfighter levels) to disable there self destruct. Rig up tow cables, and drag them behind you.
Also install big flashing sign on the Star Destroyer that reads
'Vader's used Starships, so cheap, you'll think he's gone mad! Complete Inventory being towed'

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-02-23 05:03pm

Get a batallion of tribbles, initiate them into the Dark Side and let them loose on Earth.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-23 05:56pm

Crossbreed Wookies with Zeltrons, and let those loose on Risa and Betazed...

the resulting morality blow to starfleet should be lethal

Techno_Union · Post by **Techno_Union** » 2004-02-23 05:59pm

Send Slave I into the Federation. They will use all of their time to try and free the ship. Then just use some of these other methods while the Feds are buisy.

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-23 10:07pm

Forego any weapons fire from the ISDs in favor of grabbing Federation ships in tractor beams and smashing them against each other until they're free-floating debris.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-24 03:21am

Hell you don't even need to shake them too much, they will just blow up once the warp core is disturbed even slightly. So just a sudden tractor grab....., or say ion cannoning the inertial dampeners....

Still I figure drop the shields and full ramming speed, there's practically nothing they could do anyways.

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-24 04:21am

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Hell you don't even need to shake them too much, they will just blow up once the warp core is disturbed even slightly. So just a sudden tractor grab....., or say ion cannoning the inertial dampeners....

Still I figure drop the shields and full ramming speed, there's practically nothing they could do anyways.

That's a good point... has anyone mentioned the possibility of using the Force to dominate Ensign Anderson's mind and force him to give the warp core a good swift kick?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-24 04:25am

Send over R2 units to reprogram all of the replicators to make food with decent doses of toxic materials.

Comosicus · Post by **Comosicus** » 2004-02-24 05:07am

Engineer a virus that will incapacitate universal translators and cause computers to respond only to comands in Wookie language.

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-24 05:24am

Infiltrate slicers onto spacedock to disable the safety interlocks on the holodecks of every ship that stops there. Redshirts check in, but they don't check out...