Screwball tactics against the Federation

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-02-24 07:43am

Send a DSII into a hyperdrive kamikaze run at Earth!!!

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-24 08:40am

beyond hope wrote:Infiltrate slicers onto spacedock to disable the safety interlocks on the holodecks of every ship that stops there. Redshirts check in, but they don't check out...

Judging by the holodeck's record, it appears the Empire has been performing this covertly for years....

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-02-24 08:43am

1. Replicate IG-88 brain patterns on every single Federation ship.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-24 10:08am

PainRack wrote:1. Replicate IG-88 brain patterns on every single Federation ship.

whats an IG-88 and what wouldt it do?

CJvR · Post by **CJvR** » 2004-02-24 10:26am

Ghost Rider wrote:
wautd wrote:
Gandalf wrote:No weapons, just ram the Federation ships. Even if they die on a 1:1 ratio, we have the numbers.

That'll shit them.
Wouldnt the fed ships just dodge those ISD? :)
Not at the speeds most ISDs go at.

Yes in the same manner bugs dodge a car...

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-24 10:32am

CJvR wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:
wautd wrote: Wouldnt the fed ships just dodge those ISD?
Not at the speeds most ISDs go at.
Yes in the same manner bugs dodge a car...

I didn't know that the Empire had ships that they were on the orders of magnitude to make Federation ships no bigger then starfighters.

What they don't?!

In fact their ships are hundreds of meters and both ISD and Federation vessel both can move at c+ level speeds?!

Well gol darn cletus...guess it don't happen.

So please tell me where the bug and car analogy comes into play, unless you know of a bug half the size of your car.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-24 10:33am

wautd wrote:
PainRack wrote:1. Replicate IG-88 brain patterns on every single Federation ship.
whats an IG-88 and what wouldt it do?

Info for ya

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-24 10:50am

Ghost Rider wrote:
wautd wrote:
PainRack wrote:1. Replicate IG-88 brain patterns on every single Federation ship.
whats an IG-88 and what wouldt it do?
Info for ya

Man thats a nasty droid

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-24 02:38pm

Yeah, I still thought letting HAL take over the ship's computers would be fun....

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-24 05:35pm

Solauren wrote:
beyond hope wrote:Infiltrate slicers onto spacedock to disable the safety interlocks on the holodecks of every ship that stops there. Redshirts check in, but they don't check out...
Judging by the holodeck's record, it appears the Empire has been performing this covertly for years....

That's the beauty of it, the holodeck mangles people so frequently that it would take the Federation awhile to catch on.

Since no one else has suggested it yet, two words: drone A-wings.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-02-24 05:38pm

nahh. it's simply the result of the federation using a microsoft based operating system. that'll show 'em to use linux based instead!

FOG3 · Post by **FOG3** » 2004-02-24 06:15pm

Use that Force based rewrite the entire computers code trick Kyp Durron used with the Sun Crusher when Han tried to use a code to shut it down or that implant machine take over via force implant that one son of a Emperor's Hand had.

Rewrite their computers so that the enviromental control system starts outputing opiates or hallucinogens into the vessels air supply. Alternate: recode the touch screens so the fire button is defined the same as the cancel button and the controls to raise the shields turns off the power. Have the monitor display the an error message that requires them to press the "any" key to cancel.

Otherwise monkey with vessels computer systems in creative ways.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-24 06:18pm

Heh Westley there's a new holodeck program "Samara XXX" let's run it?

who could picture the result of our darkside use of a holoprogram based off ringu?

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-24 09:10pm

Use the Empire's electronic warfare advantage to blanket every communications channel in the Federation with "Gamorrean Gang-Bang Girls" on repeat play.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-24 09:33pm

beyond hope wrote:Use the Empire's electronic warfare advantage to blanket every communications channel in the Federation with "Gamorrean Gang-Bang Girls" on repeat play.

That's only going to make the Ferengi horny.

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-24 10:19pm

Good point. "Jar-Jar Binks: Uncut" would probably be a better bet.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-02-24 10:29pm

One World Devastator with IG-88's brain vs. the Borg.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-24 10:58pm

Mass produce Guri

Have her screw federation officers, and then remove there heads
your choice which head

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2004-02-25 03:56am

Guri + meat grinder cunt =

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2004-02-26 04:40am

I like the idea of of using mass produced Guris against Feddie officers

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-26 10:59am

Thank you, Thank you

Mass produce Tie Defenders and Missile Boats, and just let those loss on Starfleet. After 2 years, send in Star Destroyers...

That'll freak them right out

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-02-26 01:06pm

Solauren wrote:Thank you, Thank you

Mass produce Tie Defenders and Missile Boats, and just let those loss on Starfleet. After 2 years, send in Star Destroyers...

That'll freak them right out

actually, just send them tie fighters and tie bombers (but not to many) to give them a false confidence. After some time send a SSD will tell them otherwhise. Only respond by "resistance is futile"

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-26 01:19pm

Dunno if anybody has suggested this one yet...

Recompile Windows XP for Federation ship computers, and install it. Watch the crews go nuts as, instead of a friendly, clean female voice, dancing paperclips and too-helpful dog holograms pop up at the worst times to suggest things. Imagine the confusion the captain will have when he orders the viewscreen to be magnified and it displays a STOP error (aka: the classic Blue Screen of Death).

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-26 01:21pm

Oh, yeah. Make sure that Internet Explorer is the only way that they can access the Federation datanet, set its security to the lowest, and lock it there. (Or highest; it doesn't matter very much.) Watch as the crew begins to complain about hordes of pop-up ads and other nasty stuff from Ferengi and Orion porn and illicit drug companies.

Shogoki · Post by **Shogoki** » 2004-02-26 05:34pm

beyond hope wrote:Good point. "Jar-Jar Binks: Uncut" would probably be a better bet.

"If you can think it up, someone will get off to it"

Just make it so that everytime someone tries to use any communicator they get penis enlargement spam and nigerian scams, addressed from high ranking officials of the Federation and Starfleet.

Oh, and the Federation and Starfleet officers get it from the Klignon or some other power.