Moderator: LadyTevar
CaptainChewbacca wrote:I hope the droid makes it. SW stories are always better with a droid. And this Jedi, if he's good enough, could start training a few Federation Jedi, start a whole new order.
Imagine a Klingon or a Vulcan jedi. Vulcans were born to be jedi.
Nice idea, I'll take it into consideration, serves the story to have the hyperdrive damaged.Major Diarrhia wrote:Comments on Chapter 2
I don't know a lot about hyperdrive but for your consideration I submit this proposal. I think you should have the Jedi engage the drive but be pointing at a star several light years away. The enemy ship follows. They both hit the star a second later and it forms a wormhole as the hyper drives destabilize and interact with the hightened output of the unusual star.
If you'd read one of my previous posts, you'll note I mentioned a muscular problem in which my hands shake. Causes me to hit the wrong keys.There is a spelling error in paragraph one, the second line, far right. "whan" isntead of "when". Although my screen is set to high resolution, the spacing may be a little different.
I meant that to mean the "backbone species" of the Dominion. Basicaly the Founders, Vorta or Jem' Hadar.What do you mean by "non-core", is it actualy a Dominion term? I've forgotton far more DS9 than I remember of any of the other series.
They may have seen all manner of engines, but I couldn't imagine much example of the Dominion finding hyperspace. It's from a whole different galaxy."an engine that defied desription" would it though? Is it really so different from things we've seen in Trek. There've been about 15 different FTL methods of interstellar travel, several of which would allow for instant galactic crossing and other that would allow galactic crossing in either a couple of months or days of travel. Of course, these are things that the Federation encountered not the Dominion. Then again, the Dominion is supposed to be more advanced, so their theory should be more complete than the Federation's. one musn't forget their three lightyear range subspace transporters and neutronium doors.
My theory was that the Vorta is no scientist."Well the transporter, in effect, breaks your body down to a subatomic level, sends it to where you need to be and reassembles you in seconds." It might be better to say that it breaks you down and reasembles you at your target, I don't think subatomic stuff has ever been specificaly mention? I think Riker's description was that it turns you into energy and reasembles you at the target. I can look for the quote if you like, although I think your description is fine.
I couldn't figure out this one, my ICS lists no speed, I kind of figured if it's Class-1 it wouldn't be that fast."One hundred and fifty thousand light years, not terribly fast." This one confused me slightly. Is the "not terribly fast" an aside thing or is the range being confused with the speed? Maybe it should "One hundred and fifty thousand light years and not terribly fast." Another thing, since I'm lacking certain knowledge, is that range limited by fuel or is that how far it can go non-stop from point A to point B before having to stop? Sorry if it's a silly question.
It's coming. Well, an attempt is.With the mention of gene manipulation and Force abilities you got me thinking. The Dominion should isolate Force abilities for use in Jem'Hadar!
Yes but it has been fleshed out."Where are you heading now?" This was mentioned in the beginning of the chapter wasn't it?
I've always thought the white kept them calm. The main instances of the getting angry I've seen are in HtH combat, this is just business as usual in space."No emotions" I thought they do have emotions, that they enjoy a good fight and can get angry or fustrated. But as you said, they are bred for battles, that calm and sence of duity overtakes everything in them almost all the time.battles, that calm and sence of duity overtakes everything in them almost
He's locked it down, I've also noticed that sensors can be fooled easily. (See: The Way of The Warrior)"it seems to be invulnerable to scanning equipment." Why?
Watch them in battle early on, they basically form moving walls. This is set between season 5-6."the Federation formed a moving wall." I don't think they've ever formed a wall. How long have the Federation and Dominion been fighting at this point?
It's been a few years since I've seen that ep. Basically had to go on memory. Thanks for the pointer."anieptilons" spelling errorAntilepton
Artificially generated by aliens. Antilepton interference may prevent communications. Antileptons actually exist, as a collective name for the antiparticles of leptons. DS9: "Emissary" - Gul Jasad's fleet flooded subspace with antilepton interference. It doesn't sound very plausible that on one hand the type of leptons can't be determined (or isn't worth mentioning), but on the other hand they would have to be be antiparticles. Interference would have to involve certain frequencies and certain particles.
They were referring to the ship/brig with the lifesigns."Can we go after it ourselves?" They're calling him an 'it'?:D
He hadn't settled on using the tachyons. This isn't a procedure we see often."tachyon beam or something" The "or something" doesn't inspire confidence in this plan.
Remember Redemption? The tachyons made the Romulan ships light up. It's kind of just used as a signal. Kind of a smoke signal thing.Instead of tachyon (which can be any particle which travels faster than light) I think you should use a tetryon particle beam. It's more unusual and therefore more likely to cach the etention of the other ships, even though they don't normaly scan for it. It's also something that can be used for scanning (although Federation ships don't use). So it might go "If we could tag that ship with a tatryon beam it might incite the other ships to scan them, in order to detect the human."
I have no account on SB I can recall. To be honest I have no real interest in or have time to be there.General Comments
I'm liking this story quite a bit and like the forshadowing of the destruction of the Jedi's vehicle, since it will lead to a more character driven story. That's if I'm right of course. Still, it's starting off well and looks like this could get very interesting. I look forward to chapter 4. You should consider posting this at the spacebattles fanfiction forum . I think it might get a good response.
I meant me.Stofsk wrote:Damar, and Odo.Gandalf wrote:As another note, pick my cameos! (There's 2)
Winner gets a character named after them. (Just a minor one, but still)
That's one, admittedly the other part of my name is a tough one.Stofsk wrote:Yeah... I knew that, I just... er, well...Gandalf wrote:I meant me.
A mister "Nugent" appears to be a senior bridge officer and part of the Federation fleet. Coincidence? I think not.
I would love to see a Vulcan Jedi, that would be totaly bad ass and I never say bad ass.CaptainChewbacca wrote:I hope the droid makes it. SW stories are always better with a droid. And this Jedi, if he's good enough, could start training a few Federation Jedi, start a whole new order.
Imagine a Klingon or a Vulcan jedi. Vulcans were born to be jedi.
Location - Sator Ship Engine Room
"Engine room to Captain Effias, we've fixed the engine, though we may want to put in for repair somewhere. Where the hell are we anyway?"
Engineer Mortenn was smaller than the other two hunters, he understood engines, and was always the calmest in a crisis. His only real shortcoming was that he had a mechanical arm, the result of an engine malfunction. A lesson in engineering. "Nearest we can figure, we're in another galaxy or something, the ship's computer might be screwed up though. It's not like we can peer out the windows and recognise anything."
"Charlen, did you note where the Jedi was headed?"
Charlen was a large man, like the other two bounty hunters on the ship. He had a few menacing scars on his face, enough to make him intimidating to others. He was also Sator's finest gunner. "He went somewhere that way." he indicated by pointing out the window at a cluster of stars. "I'd be more specific but the sensors are fried. And from what Engineer tells us, the ship has a 1:10 chance of exploding if we go to hyperspace."
"Do we have any communication equipment?"
"Mortenn is working on that. Do you think it wise to send a distress call?"
"Possibly." The captain contemplated the idea for a second. "If we are indeed in another galaxy, it may not be a bad idea, better chance than activating a hyperdive and fly blind." The captain made a good point, running into a star whilst in hyperspace would be unpleasant to say the least.
"Effias, we have a ship coming in, looks pretty big... and green!?"
"This is the Romulan Imperial Ship Ja'rod. lower your shields and prepare to be boarded."
"Effias, our comm system is not working, we can't send messages. I suggest we activate our hyperdrive and get the hell out of here." Charlen was clearly worried. "I say we lower our shields, maybe we should surrender to them. We could gain an ally. Get repairs and maybe some supplies. Who knows what this place has?"
The ship shuddered. "Shields are down! They've locked some sort of tractor beam onto us!"
With a strange shimmering green light, armoured men with odd forhead appeared in front of them. All brandishing large blasterlike weapons.
"State your business here."
"We're chasing a criminal, a man of great danger. He is part of a terrorist cell. We've been hired ot capture him and take him back home."
"Bounty hunters?"
"Yes."
"Hired by whom?" The reply came bluntly. He was clearly suspicious.
"COMPNOR, you would do well to aid us and let us go, unless you wish to incur the wrath of our Imperial Navy."
"Why do I not believe you, human?"
"If you've never heard of the Emperor this must indeed be another galaxy."
The lead Romulan spoke to the other men in his group. They opened fire on the group. The hunters all jumped for cover behing bulkheads, Charlenn hiding behind the engine, they'd be crazy to shoot at him near the engine.
The hunters fired back, scoring hits on a few of the intruders.
For a moment, the firing stopped. In their hiding places, the three men all saw small spheres roll towards team. This was accompanied by the Romulans leaving in their green shimmer. The spheres al started releasing invisible anaesthetic gas. Within seconds the hunters were soon unconscious.
The ship shuddered, the ship started moving towards the green behemoth of a ship, a small holding bay opening up in front of the hunter's ship. When it was inside, it dropped a few centimentres o the ground, it was enough to cause an ear splitting noise in the bay.
The door in the cockpit blew open. Romulans with gas masks stormed the ship. The commander of this group gave a signal ot the rest of the group.
"Beam these men to the holding cells, prepare for a heavy interrogation. Tell the men to examine and salvage what technology we can here, this gas should disolve in ten minutes. When everything is secure tell the bridge, we're going to Romulus with this.
In a matter of minutes they were on their way.
Sub-commander M'ir walked into the main security office on the ship. The prisoners stripped of their armour and hidden weapons, now in Romulan prisoner garb. Soon they would be interrogated. He loved to conduct interrogations, he was good at it too. He had never failed to crack someone, even Starfleet officers and Klingon warriors who had ended up in Romulan space.
He looked over at the holding cells and their prisoners, "These strange men." he thought to himself. From some other place, challenging Romulus.
"What have the memory probes turned up?"
"Nothing as yet, they're quiet resilient. Only a matter of time."
"It had better be." He was getting impatient. "We lost three good men on that mission. I spoke to the Commander, we have to transfer them to a modified science ship. From there they'll take the prisoners to the ship. They'll take them to the Tal Shiar."
A few hours passed, four guards were in the office now, in case something happened. The ship shuddered. "Attention all personnel. This is commander T'kar. We are under attack. Head to battlestations and prepare for assault by boarding parties."
Thy will be done. In 6 hours.Robert Walper wrote:Gandalf wrote:C5 is complete. Will be posted at the end of the day.
It. Gets. Good.For christ's sake man quit teasing!
I decided against Mandalorian armour, been done. (See SW Films)CaptainChewbacca wrote:So, are these guys just bounty hunters, or did we get some Mandalorians up in the alpha quadrant?
A modified 2 room freighter. The Romulan inspection will uncover more.p.s. What kind of ship did they have?
In 3 hours and forty minutes.p.p.s. post more already!
I know.Robert Walper wrote:That's just sadistic!Gandalf wrote:In 3 hours and forty minutes.p.p.s. post more already!
Enjoy.I wrote:Konama's lead ship was coming under heavy fire, ordinarily it would be considered a good sign. That their enemies were ignoring the Jem' Hadar fighters. Clearly Starfleet knew who was on board, and they wanted him.
"Pilot, pull to the back of the formation, if they want to come after us it's their own suicide mission."
"Aye sir." The ship lurched when it turned, it appeared the inertial dampeners were damaged.
Another gruff Jem' Hadar voice sounded form the back of the bridge. "Our prisoner is loose, he's broken through the door."
"How is this possible?"
"It seems to be a localised energy distortion."
"A Federation boarding party has transported aboard, they're heading straight for your quarters."
"Send any spare troops to secure the area. If need be, kill the Jedi." The emotion was gone from his voice. He was now like the unemotional Vorta he was programmed to be. Calmly ordering deaths and destruction with no thought to remorse.
The Starfleet team came across the now roaming Jedi, some ten metres away. His lightsabre was drawn. It shone a bright blue. "What is that!?" The Starfleet team leader asked in utter shock.
"This is my lightsabre. The weapon of a Jedi Knight."
"Right. We're here to rescue you. Come with us."
"Why?"
"Becasue the Jem' Hadar wil be here soon."
"Yes, they will."
"Are you insane!? We have to go now, Jem' Hadar will be here any second!" The Starfleet team leader was clearly angry.
"I'm perfectly sane" Kaldor answered calmly.
Kaldor raised his arm, waving it near the Starfleet team, a bulkhead fell down behind them.
"You're not going anywhere." Kaldor was still the epitome of calm in a crisis.
"Open fire!" A volley of Starfleet pulse phaser fire shot at him. Kaldor waved his lightsabre around, deflecting some of the shots back at the away team, the rest into the walls. The Starfleet crew stood there, shocked and frightened. Looking down at their fallen comrades, killed by their own phaser fire.
"Ensign Grant to USS Ming, we need immediate beam out." No reply.
"Ensign Grant to anyone who can hear me, we need immediate transport." No reply again.
"Sounds like no-one is there to help." Kaldor said mockingly.
Kaldor threw his lightsabre at the remaining three man away team with lightning speed, cutting two of them in half, except one who had the reflexes to hide behind a bulkhead. There was a brief pause. This last one felt a pressure on his throat, as if there were a hand there. He looked down and could see nothing. He fell to the ground, the last thing he saw was Kaldor's satisfied, subdued smile.
The Jem' Hadar team stormed the hall with weapons drawn, in time to see Kaldor's lightsabre flying back to his hand and be turned off.
The first looked shocked. "What happened here?"
"I think it was a Federation away team, I've dealt with them." He indicated down to the bodies, a sign of true carnage. Something only a truly trained individual could do. Even Jem' Hadar were not this brutal very often, their weapons left burn marks and occasional bleeding. The only body in one piece was a Bolian up the back, who's hands were on his throat. His face that on frozen terror. The smell of burnt flesh was sinking in to the room.
Kaldor waved his hand at the First. "You will take me to the Vorta." There was a pause, Kaldor hoped it would work.
"I shall take you to the Vorta."
"Very good." He linked his hands in his Jedi robes, and left with the First to the bridge, while the remaing soldiers examined the scene.
Konama was shocked to see Kaldor on the bridge. Escorted by the First. "What is he doing here?" Konama demanded of the First.
"He has proven himself in combat. Examine your security monitor, corridor 134." Konama complied, his face shocked by the sight.
"You did that?"
"Yes. I did." His face again was full of pride at his actions. Only then did the reality of his actions hit him, he realised how he had abused his power. It was very unsettling. It would require serious meditation to overcome and deal with this.
They were meant to be pulse. I noticed since FC all phasers seem to be pulse.CaptainChewbacca wrote:That's a bit darker than Jedi like to be. A bit scary, methinks.
Oh, lightsabers are really bad at parrying multiple continuous beams. Were the phaser rifles on pulse?
