Screwball tactics against the Federation

Almightyboredone · Post by **Almightyboredone** » 2004-02-26 09:29pm

Just build a Death Star-sized reproduction of Palpatine's face and hang it in low orbit around Earth... certainly would scare the crap out of me.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-02-26 09:46pm

Convert a completed Death Star Mk 2 into a giant railgun, which fires small cones of quantum-crystaline (is that the right term?) armour. Aim and fire at Federation planets.

Or, even better, get two DS Mk 2s. Then put them on either side of a 9,000km long cylinder-shaped railgun, which gets it's power from the DS Mk2s, and has a converted DS Mk 1 at the business end as counter-balance/aim-fine-adjust. Death by giant penis-gun.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2004-02-26 11:09pm

Use superlaser instead. Railgun would be assinine.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-26 11:28pm

darthdavid wrote:Use superlaser instead. Railgun would be assinine.

Of course it's asinine...what's the title of this thread again?

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-27 12:05am

Lord of the Farce wrote:Or, even better, get two DS Mk 2s. Then put them on either side of a 9,000km long cylinder-shaped railgun, which gets it's power from the DS Mk2s, and has a converted DS Mk 1 at the business end as counter-balance/aim-fine-adjust. Death by giant penis-gun.

I believe that's called the GALAXY GUN

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-27 12:16am

Better yet. When building a Death Star 2, instead of installing a superlaser, install the focusing mechanisms for a lightsaber, and adjust it to have approximately a 30,000km length (with a proportional width, otherwise it'll just look like piano wire). Then go around and have fun chopping planets in half!

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-27 01:17am

Oh, I like that last one.

Here's another:
Sell them improved antimatter reactors or something like that that can install on there ships.
With a nice hidden ability

Ship goes to warp
Power level jumps and freezes and refuses to eject or abort
Starfleet ship shakes itself apart.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-02-27 01:53am

Solauren wrote:I believe that's called the GALAXY GUN

You kidding? Compared to the (newly named) HIMS Compensation, the Galaxy Gun is a mere sperm.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-02-27 02:00am

Another strategy:
Buy all necessary blueprints to produce holodecks, then use the industrial might of the Star Wars corporations to mass-produce holodecks that have safeties that actually work, along with programs with "companion" templates of over a million different species. Sit back and relax (in one of these holodecks if you want) as you watch Federation recruitment drop to rock-bottom and your own ranks filled.

dworkin · Post by **dworkin** » 2004-02-27 10:15am

Send over snapshots of crew-members hanging out in bars, water-skiing and all the other things that they do while waiting for the slow fed ships to turn up.

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2004-02-27 04:26pm

Serious suggestion I thought up for the "Trade Federation vs. ST galaxy" thread:

First, you'll need to get ahold of replicators and transporters to figure out how they work and what will interfere with them. Armed with that knowledge, you then make x20 hyperdrives that can't be broken down by a replicator and will cease functioning (or explode) if tampered with. While ten to twenty times slower than the hyperdrives on Imperial warships, they're still a considerable improvement over warp drives and the "black Box" nature of their construction will eventually make the purchasers totally dependant on the Empire/Trade Federation/Whoever for replacements. Do the same with other technology where SW has an advantage and dump it on the ST market below cost, and eventually you should be able to destroy their industrial base.

DaveJB · Post by **DaveJB** » 2004-02-27 05:44pm

1) Steal the plans for the Genesis device, then fire a new version at Earth, changing it into the largest Cannabis plantation in history. Then offer the other major powers cut price spliffs if they join up with the Empire!

2) Make a computer virus that spreads through the Federation, reprogramming the universal translator so that whenever you try and say anything in another language, it comes out as "I'll be your bitch". Wait until everyone's anus is too sore to be able to adequately defend, then invade.

DaveJB · Post by **DaveJB** » 2004-02-27 07:48pm

Jesus, I obviously didn't read the last bit properly before I posted it!

For the last sentence, read: "Wait until everyone's anus is too sore to be able to organise an adequate defence, then attack the Federation"

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-27 07:57pm

It works either way, besides Ensign Kim is beginning to enjoy that gimp mask too much....

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-27 11:24pm

Use Centerpoint Station to move all there planets into the same solar system, in parellel and nearby orbits to each other.
Watch them freak as the earthquakes start

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-02-27 11:59pm

Three words:

ISD's as missiles

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-02-28 12:19am

Tractor beam every AQ ship, and tow them into the galactic Energy Barrier on auto-pilot.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2004-02-28 12:24am

Use the Centrepoint station tech to move all the planets in the Milky Way around till they form the message "No Parking" when viewed from Andromeda.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-02-28 12:26am

Another Centrepoint Abuse:

Interstellar snooker.

'Blue planet, corner pocket..'

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-28 12:44am

Or use it to steal the Sun.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-28 12:53am

Problem with stealing suns with centerpoint, is they make suns go boom

justifier · Post by **justifier** » 2004-02-28 01:01am

Use centerpoint to thrown earth and other Fed planets into a sun.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2004-02-28 01:08am

Solauren wrote:Problem with stealing suns with centerpoint, is they make suns go boom

It's a tractor beam, a star is not much different from a gas giant when you're looking at it that way. What allowed centerpoint to make the stars explode was modulating the beam or some such nonsense.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-02-28 01:08am

justifier wrote:Use centerpoint to thrown earth and other Fed planets into a sun.

No, that's entirely too much like a legitimate military tactic. a better tactic would be to go back in time through the Guardian of the edge of forever, take Centerpoint station, and cause enough supernovas carefully timed to cause the message 'Surrender Dorothy' to appear in the Earth's sky the instant the wormhole to the Milky Way opens.

Phantasee · Post by **Phantasee** » 2004-02-28 01:29am

this all sounds like a lot of fun....