I'm NOT "Lovin' It"! (Stupid Commercials)

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Darth Raptor
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I'm NOT "Lovin' It"! (Stupid Commercials)

Post by Darth Raptor »

AARRGH!!! :kill:

What is it with television advertisements? Every time I fire up the tube I'm assaulted with an endless barage of idiocy so thick it can almost qualify as matter. It seems like every company is making horribly noisy and obnoxious ads anymore. Seizure inducing bright colors and flashing images mixed with cheesy rip-offs of old songs make me want to go into a violent homicidal rage. For the longest time I've always considered car commercials to be the worst, but lately it seems they've been knocked into the #2 slot by fast food joints. I have a brick on standby for the next time that damn Quizno's commercial comes on. But even that pales in comparison to... *shudders with loathing* ...The recent rash of McDonald's ads featuring their brilliant "I'm lovin' it!" slogan. I speak the truth when I say I'm a dangerous person to be within swingin' range of when that shit comes on.

How are these ads effective? How can you possibly perpetuate a positive image of your business by inducing pain in potential customers? Or am I the only one who has a borderline aneurism every time I endure one?
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Yes. The McDonald's corporation should burn.
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Post by Gandalf »

Only the beer companies make really good ads.

Sometimes I want to throw a brick at my TV though.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
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Post by Hamel »

The most agonizing commercial to sit through is Worship Together

Fucking idiots swaying like skyscrapers
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
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Admiral Valdemar
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Maddox had a good article on this a few months back. It is indeed another endless bout of fucking tedious ads that have little meaning or relevance to the product they advertise.

Again, another reason TV is getting more and more the lowest denominator's realm of choice if it isn't already.
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Post by Gil Hamilton »

Gandalf wrote:Only the beer companies make really good ads.

Sometimes I want to throw a brick at my TV though.
I really like the Coors ads right now.

"See this crew
of smoking hot chicks
Who just shot down
Guy number six?
But to get the ladies all you need to unveil
Is your four legged buddy, with his nine inch tail.
Wingdog makes pick up lines disappear.
If he can hold one, then buy him a beer.
Wingdog!"
"Show me an angel and I will paint you one." - Gustav Courbet

"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert

"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
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Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

Just tune the damn things out and you hardly notice them.
Image
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Post by Hamel »

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Just tune the damn things out and you hardly notice them.
Up your nose with a rubber hose

I don't have a damn remote for my tv, and it's highly annoying to trek across my room just to turn the volume down
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
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Post by Spanky The Dolphin »

I meant IGNORE them.
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Post by kojikun »

Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
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Post by Darth Raptor »

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:I meant IGNORE them.
That's the thing. I can't. It's like a psychic blast that bores it's way into my head and painfully bounces around my skull for several minutes after the initial attack.
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Post by Gandalf »

kojikun wrote:Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
I kill you!
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

kojikun wrote:Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
You're asking for some sort of aerial bombardment in your general vicinity.
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Post by Demiurge »

The Quizno's commercials rule.
delicious pies
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Post by Lancer »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
kojikun wrote:Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
You're asking for some sort of aerial bombardment in your general vicinity.
I'd settle for a immensely satisfying minigun-strafing run.
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Post by Hamel »

kojikun wrote:Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
nevermind

you deserve a hot object up the butt for that one, though
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

In my opinion, nothing holds a candle to those Old Navy Commericals. It seems that no matter what atricle of clothing that they're advertising, they find a way to make it painful to watch. Although that car commercial that advertises those sensors on the minivan is annoying too. Sure, the car in the "new way" could park without problem because of the sensors, or because it is obvious that it has more space to work with.

Some wouldn't be so annoying if they weren't played every break, espeically the movie ones.
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Post by Lancer »

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:In my opinion, nothing holds a candle to those Old Navy Commericals. It seems that no matter what atricle of clothing that they're advertising, they find a way to make it painful to watch. Although that car commercial that advertises those sensors on the minivan is annoying too. Sure, the car in the "new way" could park without problem because of the sensors, or because it is obvious that it has more space to work with.

Some wouldn't be so annoying if they weren't played every break, espeically the movie ones.
I don't know, the "The Girl Next Door" commercials are pretty amusing. And no, I'm not saying that just because I'm a warm-blooded teenage male.
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Post by Darth Raptor »

Demiurge wrote:The Quizno's commercials rule.
What!? They've had some mildly funny ones in the past, but their latest one makes me want to go ballistic.

What the fuck are those things supposed to be, anyway!? Some kind of rodent? And God damn how can anyone tolerate their shrill singing?
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Post by Lancer »

Lazy Raptor wrote:
Demiurge wrote:The Quizno's commercials rule.
What!? They've had some mildly funny ones in the past, but their latest one makes me want to go ballistic.

What the fuck are those things supposed to be, anyway!? Some kind of rodent? And God damn how can anyone tolerate their shrill singing?
My best guess is a demented hamster. Ladies and gents, this (and the Infinitum Lab's Phantom http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?d ... 1-22&res=l), is what you get when you try to do your job under the influence of hallucinigenic substances.[/url]
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

The animals in the Quiznos ads are Spongmonkeys.

And they were on the front page of the local newspaper today. Yes, as an article.

Yes, the FRONT PAGE. I'm totally serious. Hell, I'll even go and scan it.
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

DPDarkPrimus wrote:The animals in the Quiznos ads are Spongmonkeys.

And they were on the front page of the local newspaper today. Yes, as an article.

Yes, the FRONT PAGE. I'm totally serious. Hell, I'll even go and scan it.
This I have to see.

The Master Card ads have used a similar idea to the Spong Monkeys using penguins though and the Crusha milkshake ads used the kitten idea. We've already had Weebl & Bob make ads from the Badger Song and Kenya fame.
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Post by SecondStorm »

Hamel wrote:
kojikun wrote:Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
nevermind

you deserve a hot object up the butt for that one, though
Why are you rewarding him for such atrocious behavior?

And McDonald adds makes me vomit. No quality in any of em.




How can you live without a remote :shock: ?
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Post by Hamel »

SecondStorm wrote:
Hamel wrote:
kojikun wrote:Badabababaaaa I'm lovin it! :twisted:
nevermind

you deserve a hot object up the butt for that one, though
Why are you rewarding him for such atrocious behavior?

And McDonald adds makes me vomit. No quality in any of em.




How can you live without a remote :shock: ?
One word: moneh
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Image

My scanner isn't large enough to scan the entire front section, so I did the relevent fourth.


If you think it's doctored, look at the newspaper's website, which, for the remainder of the day, has blurbs of all the front page stuff.
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