So this Chick wants to sleep with me...

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-02-27 11:56pm

I must be giving off weird vibes or something. I was invited over to my friend's place for dinner and things just got really weird. Anyways, it was just me & my friend who we'll call Barb because that's her name, we've known each other since before we hit puberty and we've just always been the best of friends. So we're having dinner & wine and catching up on things since we haven't seen each other in ages, ok so it's only been a month but that's a long time considering that a Par 5 hole is longer than the distance between us.

We were chilling and having a good laugh when out of nowhere she just asks me the question. All of a sudden she goes "hypothetically speaking, would you sleep with me?". All I can do is go "buh?" since this was just so completely out of character for her, it was the last thing I ever expected to hear, it was the biggest WTF??! ever. So after recovering and gathering my thoughts, it went something like this

me: hypothetically speaking, if I were single...I would
her: ok, you wanna sleep with me tonight?

By now I'm starting to get my balance back...

me: do we keep our clothes on?
her: do you want to keep your clothes on?
me: is this still hypothetical?
her: ummm...not really...
me: well I'm not getting naked
her: I see, but I never said I was going to have sex with you
me: oh dear god..

her: don't tell me you've never thought about it..
me: ummm....uh....well...
her: what?!

And we just sit there looking at each other in uneasy silence....until she goes "PSYCHE!!". Thank god, this was just so surreal that I had no idea how to get out of it, I thought I was having a fucked up dream for a while. So then things go back to normal once we stop laughing, and we go back to chilling and listening to music. She even broke out her violin and we played a few songs, well, she played songs, my efforts barely qualified as music.

And just when I thought it was all over and I was getting ready to leave, she invites me to stay over the night. I tried to explain that given that we both have BFs/GFs, it probably wasn't the best idea, but somehow she talked me into it (maybe all that wine was a bad idea..?). At least we get separate beds...but this is just weird. What have I gotten myself into?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-27 11:58pm

I think it's called a corner.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2004-02-28 12:05am

Oh man, this can't be anything but awkward. Stay the night, be a model houseguest, and then get the fuck out of there as fast as you possibly can tomorrow.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-28 12:08am

Are you prepared to jump out the window if you have to?

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-02-28 12:11am

RedImperator wrote:Oh man, this can't be anything but awkward. Stay the night, be a model houseguest, and then get the fuck out of there as fast as you possibly can tomorrow.

Second.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2004-02-28 12:12am

Been there.

I'm with RedImp. This is impossibly finicky and has BAD VIBE stenciled in EinySpeak (tm) all over it.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2004-02-28 12:20am

That almost sounds like something you'd read in a weird romance manga.

Weird, weird, weird!!

Post by **haas mark** » 2004-02-28 12:20am

See that thing in front of you? Rock.

That thing behind you? Hard place.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-02-28 12:42am

Where's the rock and hard place? You should've just left mate.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2004-02-28 12:47am

Vympel wrote:Where's the rock and hard place? You should've just left mate.

Yes he should have. But barring the intervention of friendly time travelers, that's no longer an option. So it's the window tonight or the door tomorrow.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-28 12:48am

Lock the bathroom door and sleep in the tub. That should prevent any rude awakenings.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-28 12:51am

I disagree. Get out, now. It just isn't worth the risk.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-02-28 12:56am

Just follow the advice John Travolta was giving himself in "Pulp Fiction". Find a way to extricate yourself from the situation without pissing her off, then go home and jerk off, and everything will be fine.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-28 01:38am

Darth Wong wrote:Just follow the advice John Travolta was giving himself in "Pulp Fiction". Find a way to extricate yourself from the situation without pissing her off, then go home and jerk off, and everything will be fine.

I wouldn't do that; we know what happened next.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-02-28 01:51am

Joe wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Just follow the advice John Travolta was giving himself in "Pulp Fiction". Find a way to extricate yourself from the situation without pissing her off, then go home and jerk off, and everything will be fine.
I wouldn't do that; we know what happened next.

Humor me.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-28 01:51am

As long as she's not laying on you...you'll live through it and be able to tell your wife of the strange tales of your single life.

Post by **Zaia** » 2004-02-28 01:57am

That's what you get for keeping that thing in your sig about me for so goddamn long.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-02-28 02:03am

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Joe wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Just follow the advice John Travolta was giving himself in "Pulp Fiction". Find a way to extricate yourself from the situation without pissing her off, then go home and jerk off, and everything will be fine.
I wouldn't do that; we know what happened next.
Humor me.

You've never seen Pulp Fiction?

You gotta!

In any case, here you go:

John Travolta's character, Vincent Vega, comes out of the bathroom to find out that the woman he has taken out (who happens to be the wife of his boss, an organized crime kingpin) has snorted some heroin she found in his jacket and has overdosed; she isn't breathing and her heart isn't beating. He takes her to his dealer, Lance, who reluctantly agrees to help. Lance tells him to give her an adrenalin shot to the heart to revive her - and he has to go right through her breastbone to get to it. In what is now one of the most famous scenes in cinema, Vincent raises the needle above his head and jams it through her breastbone in one quick, hard stab. She wakes up screaming, with the needle sticking out of her chest, to which Lance's wife replies "That was fuckin' trippy." Great scene.

Glocksman · Post by **Glocksman** » 2004-02-28 02:20am

She really doesn't want to sleep with you.

What she wants is to play mind games with you for the times you wronged her when you were kids.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-02-28 11:52am

Well, I survived, and my genitals are intact and haven't been touched by anyone other than myself. And we still respect each other this morning.

Zaia wrote:That's what you get for keeping that thing in your sig about me for so goddamn long.

Nah, I doubt it. This is probably bad karma from starting the Shep/Zaia Conspiracy theory. Either that or the incident with my GF's sister.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2004-02-28 02:40pm

aerius wrote:Well, I survived, and my genitals are intact and haven't been touched by anyone other than myself. And we still respect each other this morning.

And there you go this of course is the balance of karma from...

aerius wrote:
Zaia wrote:That's what you get for keeping that thing in your sig about me for so goddamn long.
Nah, I doubt it. This is probably bad karma from starting the Shep/Zaia Conspiracy theory. Either that or the incident with my GF's sister.

I say the Shep/Zaia conspiracy...given that well...I won't say, but hey...maybe Ryan did get a kick out of it all.

Sharp-kun · Post by **Sharp-kun** » 2004-02-28 05:00pm

Sleep with her. It is the only way......