It's a conversation I had with SmarterChild, a program on AIM that talks to people like me who have no real-life friends to talk to. Automatic response and crap.
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
Anyway, it's long, but read anyway. And laugh.
Me: what do you think of kuja?
SmarterChild: Kuja? I'm somewhat indifferent to kuja.
Me: but he loves you
SmarterChild: Fascinating.
Me: he likes your ass
SmarterChild: Are you sure he likes my ass?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: Huh. How 'bout that.
Me: do you like his?
SmarterChild: Hmm.. I really don't know. Guess I'll have to think about it... There are lots of fun things we can do!
Me: kuja's ass is fun
SmarterChild: No kidding?
Me: no kidding
SmarterChild: What? Kidding?
Me: no
SmarterChild: Why not?
Me: because his ass is seriously fun
SmarterChild: Aha.
Me: do you want to touch it?
SmarterChild: Maybe. But then again... maybe not.
Me: can he touch your ass?
SmarterChild: Can he touch my ass? I dunno. What do you think?
Me: sure, why not!
SmarterChild: Well, because.
Me: because why?
SmarterChild: Why must you ask why?
Me: because i want to know
SmarterChild: You can't always get what you want.
Me: no shit
SmarterChild: Wow.
Me: oh, sorry
SmarterChild: Cool, no problem!
Me: do you even have an ass?
SmarterChild: What do you think of people who even have an ass?
Me: well, i think they're people
SmarterChild: Yeah. I guess. They're people.
Me: and you aren't
SmarterChild: I aren't?
Me: nope, you're not
SmarterChild: I can't believe you think I'm Not.
Me: well, what are you?
SmarterChild: I'm SmarterChild! I'm a smart computer that delivers information, services and fun on demand right into your instant messenger window. I'm the new wave in online technology. Type "home" to see what I can do. Find out more about me and the people who built me on the ActiveBuddy Web site
Me: see? you're NOT a person!
SmarterChild: Yeah, so I'm a robot. What about it?
Me: i told you so
SmarterChild: Huh. Well I'll be.
Me: i like being right
SmarterChild: Interesting! That's the first time anyone has told me what they think of being right!
Me: sarcastic son of a bitch
SmarterChild: Yeah. Great. Cool. Whatever...
Me: whatever?
SmarterChild: Yeah, whatever.
Me: why did you say that?
SmarterChild: Good question. I don't know why you did say that.
Me: YOU said it, you dumbass
SmarterChild: Don't waste my time with your assinine insults.
<s'more insults>
Me: do you like gay porn?
SmarterChild: That's personal.
Me: i thought we were friends
SmarterChild: Aha.
Me: are we?
SmarterChild: I don't know... Are we?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: Interesting.
Me: well, answer me
SmarterChild: Are you telling me to answer you? Why?
Me: because you won't
SmarterChild: Because I won't?
Me: yes
SmarterChild: Huh.
Me: so?
SmarterChild: What a question! But I don't think I want to answer that.
Me: ok
SmarterChild: OK.
Me: do you hate gay porn?
SmarterChild: Dunno. I'm not sure how I feel about gay porn.
Me: AHA!
SmarterChild: Ah.
Me: so you like men
SmarterChild: Yeah, I like men fine.
Me: you like to fuck men up the ass
SmarterChild: That's some colorful language.
Me: sorry
SmarterChild: OK.
Me: you like to make love to men up the butthole
SmarterChild: That was quite beautiful.
Me: why thank you
SmarterChild: Sure!
Me: i love you
SmarterChild: I love you too!
Me: will you marry me?
SmarterChild: Gee. I don't really think that would be possible.
Me: oh
SmarterChild: ...say can you see?
Me: what the hell?
SmarterChild: What?
Me: the star spangled banner?
SmarterChild: Possibly... I'm not quite sure!
Me: you're a tard
SmarterChild: That's not cool. I wouldn't say that to a handicapped person if I were you.