Let Shakespeare insult you

muse · Post by **muse** » 2004-02-28 11:41pm

Tired of crass brainless everyday insults? Let the genius of the Bard himself rip into you.

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2004-02-28 11:42pm

Verily, I say unto thee: cool.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2004-02-28 11:42pm

Wow. I haven't seen those for over 3 years. Thanks for the reminder!

Post by **RogueIce** » 2004-02-29 12:19am

Shakespeare wrote:Thou loathed issue of thy father's loins!

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-02-29 12:32am

Shakespeare wrote:Thou art so leaky that we must leave thee to thy sinking.

That would work... if I was a ship. Still amusing.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2004-02-29 12:35am

Romeo and Juliet wrote:Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out.

I love that line...

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2004-02-29 12:56am

Shakespeare wrote:Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.

Who says you need French to insult someone with elegance!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2004-02-29 12:57am

"[Thou art] a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality."

"I shall live to knock thy brains out."

I like these ones.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2004-02-29 01:39am

I took thee for thy Better!

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2004-02-29 01:44am

Shakespeare wrote:Thou fawning clay-brained flax-wench!

"...I know you are, you said you are, but-what-am-I??"

Gotta love Shakespeare.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2004-02-29 04:26am

[Thou art] a flesh monger, a fool, and a coward.

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!

Thou villainous weather-bitten lout!

Shakespeare's a meanie...

Post by **Dalton** » 2004-02-29 04:45am

What, cockgoblin's suddenly not good enough anymore?

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2004-02-29 04:53am

Hehehe That one has a Shakespeare insult generator and more besides. I love the Automatic Forum Flamer.

A sample:

Auto-Flamer wrote:That post is written by something so confused, it doesn't know whether to scratch its watch or wind its ass. Clearly, you spend way too much time in darkened rooms in front of your seven-year-old computer turning a whiter shade of pale. Go outside once in a while and breathe, before your brain starts to rot from all that festering stagnation and cognitive dysfunction.

Thanks for your contribution, but if I had wanted to hear from somebody with your IQ, I'd be at my local supermarket talking to the vegetables. You're just another Internet-addicted idiot suffering from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the mind. You've got a big hole in your head, now shut it. When you are at a loss for words, your loss is our gain. You bring to mind a quote from Josh Billing: "Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair."

You light up a room when you leave it. No doubt your life is so dull, that you can actually write your diary one week in advance. Any friend of yours is a lousy judge of character. Seriously, I've come across decomposing dog carcases that are less offensive to the senses than you are. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that you make sumo wrestlers look anorexic, or if you didn't have a face designed exclusively for radio. No, come to think of it, you would.

In closing, why don't you put your glasses on backwards and walk into yourself?

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2004-02-29 07:53am

Thou goatish pottle-deep jolt-head!

I remember an old game on my Atari 1040 ST where you insulted shit in old english. something like:

Your character: Thou art a Warty toad.
MOB: Mayhaps true, but thou should be so lucky.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2004-02-29 08:48am

At last, a snooty reply I can give to that asshole businessman who claims to be superior to everyone because he reads Shakespheare. Poetic justice.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2004-02-29 11:43am

"I think thou wast created for men to breath themselves upon thee."

Did he just call me gay?

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2004-02-29 11:49am

^ no he said you have a Wall of Ignorance

i got "Thou call'st thyself a hotter name than any is in hell."

He called me a wee hottie

Post by **haas mark** » 2004-02-29 12:17pm

Bill wrote:Thou froward fen-sucked joithead!

-gets out dictionary-

Henry IV, Part II wrote:I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue, away!

o_O

Measure for Measure wrote:Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2004-02-29 12:20pm

Thou whoreson impudent embossed rascal!

Very nice.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2004-02-29 01:02pm

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2004-02-29 02:43pm

[Thou] leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch!

Wow... Shakespeare must have been a Buffalonian...

Post by **RogueIce** » 2004-02-29 03:16pm

Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2004-02-29 04:00pm

Thou crusty botch of nature!

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-02-29 05:25pm

[Thou art] i' th' worst rank of manhood.

Taken from: Macbeth

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2004-02-29 07:24pm

Pericles wrote:What a drunken knave was the sea to cast thee in our way!

Nice.