Screwball tactics against the Federation

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-28 02:51am

Star Destroyers with big flashing neon signs:

"We kicked the Borg's ass with only 2 of our cruisers. We are sending 10 to deal with you. You do the math..."

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-02-28 03:13am

The SSD "post no bills" with scrolling ad space all over teh surface....

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-28 12:25pm

Land break dancing AT-AT's, AT-ST's and Darktroopers in San Fransico

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-02-28 04:55pm

Send two fleets through to conduct war games with low-powered weaponry. stage the wargames through every federation system, and take out everything that moves with colatteral damage from shots fired at .01% of normal power.

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-02-28 05:57pm

1. Send multiple interdictor cruiser into a starbase, and set their gravity fields on oscilate.

What's the name of that operatic aria that plays everytime Disney channel shows a ship roiling around in a storm??

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2004-02-28 06:03pm

SirNitram wrote:Another Centrepoint Abuse:

Interstellar snooker.

'Blue planet, corner pocket..'

How do you score points?

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-02-28 06:04pm

would an ISD be capable of towing a starbase? i'd imagine that would intimidate the hell out of the federation.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2004-02-28 06:46pm

PainRack wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Another Centrepoint Abuse:

Interstellar snooker.

'Blue planet, corner pocket..'

How do you score points?

Easy. Get the planets in the black holes in the right order, same as snooker.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2004-02-28 07:05pm

Darth_Zod wrote:would an ISD be capable of towing a starbase? i'd imagine that would intimidate the hell out of the federation.

More then likely, 2 or 3 of them could do it without a problem

Break a planet up with Imperial weapons (and I mean break it up as in nice new debris field), and when asked why 'oh, we needed a new fuel depot', then let some world devestators start eating it....

vs Starships
Ask them why a supposedly peaceful society arms there escape-pods. Oh wait, that's one of your capital starships? That's just sad....

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2004-02-28 08:30pm

Dump huge amounts of flammable material on planet from orbit. Fire a few shots, and laugh at the huge inferno.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-02-29 02:29am

Chardok wrote:Three words:

ISD's as missiles

*Points up at the HIMS (Phallic) Compensation* What do you think it fires?

Dark Hellion · Post by **Dark Hellion** » 2004-02-29 05:22pm

Build a 10,000 km by 10,000 km solar sail. Drag it to earth with 4 ISDs. Unfurl it and attach it to earth. Water (space?) ski cruisers behind the planet.

Send a fleet of VSDs into the solar system, have them dump cargo bays full of molten gold and platinum on the moons of Mars. Give the Deathstar some bling.

Declare earth to be a zoo of primitve imperial humans. Blockade the planet, force shows with 10 credit admission at 10, 2, and 5.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2004-02-29 08:58pm

Rip Earth apart with tractor beams. One country at a time.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-02-29 09:29pm

Have the Ubiqtorate discover the formula for the Omega Molecule, and detonate them all over the AQ, forcing the ST powers to surrender to you to maintain any sort of interstelllar travel going(damnit, that was too much like a legitimate plan).

Create a DS, devoted to creating a giant tractor beam, that you set on reverse, and use to spin planets until the population flies off into space(wait, Steve Oedekerk's already used that one, crap!)

Create a gigantic battlestation, and send a message, supposedly from the Rebel Alliance, detailing the super vulnerable weak point. Rig it so the superlaser fires on the nearest inhabited world when the 'weak point' is hit.

Use the AQ to test your guners reflexes and aim. Have ISDs come out of hyperspace at relativistic velocities towards inhabited planets on evasive courses, and have the DS try to shoot the down using low-powered Superlaser blasts. If the ISD hits, then the person who progrmmmed the evasive pattern gets a warm chocolate chip cookie(Of Doom).
If the Superlaser gunner hits, he gets a super thick milkshake(Of Evil). Either way, the planet is probably screwed, getting hit by either an ISD, or an ISD explosion, or maybe a low powered superlaser beam, or just maybe all three.

Techno_Union · Post by **Techno_Union** » 2004-02-29 09:51pm

Have the Galaxy Gun fire its missles into Pluto and Mercury and continue in towards Earth; once it gets to Earth and the Feds are cowering, have a stick come out of the Galaxy Gun saying BOOM! Then start firing low yield galaxy missles into random cities. Then stop and when they think it is finaly over, use the suncrusher to destroy the Sun and the Solar System.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2004-02-29 10:51pm

Build a second Centerpoint station, then hype both to a random Federation system. Having the two sit on opposite sides of the system with the primary star(s) between them. Then proceed to play Gravity-Pong, using the stations' repulsors to shove a planet back and forth to each other, trying to get as close to the star as possible (for the highest points) without touching the star. The game ends the moment the planet makes physical contact with the star. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-03-01 03:11am

1. Stop by Cowboy Bebop timeline/universe
2. Inform the command of the Eclipse class command ship, that She's the new sithlord, and that the 1/4 SL is to be kept at the lowest possible firing power.
3. Let Ed doodle.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-03-01 05:09am

Capture any encountered Fed ship ith tracktorbeams and drop them off @ delta quadrant. Gonna be a lot of Voyagers

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-03-01 09:52am

wautd wrote:Capture any encountered Fed ship ith tracktorbeams and drop them off @ delta quadrant. Gonna be a lot of Voyagers

Oh and off course let the Federation's neighbours know what happened to their fleet. Place your bets on who will attack first

FOG3 · Post by **FOG3** » 2004-03-01 02:47pm

Park the "Planetary Ore Extractor" in Earth's orbit. Preferably after "mining" several other planets.

Open a comm channel with Earth.

"We are sorry to inform you that your planet is in the way of one of our Hyperspace Lanes and must be demolished. That is all."

Commence Primary Ignition.

------------------------------------------------------------

Inform the Corporate Sector Authority of a new resource opportunity.

Phantasee · Post by **Phantasee** » 2004-03-04 10:04pm

I watched almost all the star trek series.... i think a fun screwball tactic would be to capture the manhiem facility, fit an ISD with a time travel drive...and do that thing from one of the superman comics, where the guy marches back in time every day, killing superman over, and over, and over.....

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2004-03-05 04:57am

asandhu2001 wrote:I watched almost all the star trek series.... i think a fun screwball tactic would be to capture the manhiem facility, fit an ISD with a time travel drive...and do that thing from one of the superman comics, where the guy marches back in time every day, killing superman over, and over, and over.....

Ah, The Kingdom, yes.

Resettle the unrepentamt YV in the Milky Way, and come in a year later as the galactic savior.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-03-05 06:53am

Capture a few Deltans, analyze their pheromones, then develop a super-powerful version of said pheromones designed to make any humanoid species extremely horny. Add Delta-9 Tetrahydrocannabinol, and manufacture in staggering quantities.

Load up this substance into chemical warheads, then dispatch millions of hyperdrive-capable TIE bombers loaded to the gills with these bombs to every world within striking distance.

Watch as civilization collapses due to all the stoned horny hewmarns fucking like monkeys all at once.

Watch as 9 months later the hewmarn population neatly doubles as all those people give birth...

Fucking Evil Variant: Genegineer a common and extremely hardy bacterium which produces copious amounts of the Horny Stoned Monkey substance as a natural byproduct, and disperse this into planets' atmospheres. Watch as planets become permanently useless to all humanoid life (without gas masks) for all time...

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2004-03-08 05:17am

Use a small platoon of r2 units to initiate a mass unsolicited email campaign. Operation "Emperor's Spam" will use so much spam and computer data that the GCS computer cores will trigger a vibrometrical feedback loop in the Efissuration relay causing a gamma reaction in the protomatrix of the antimatter system.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2004-03-08 07:46am

Introduce free-market economy into the Federation. That alone will make those commies fall into chaos.