stupid drivers, stupid big ass SUV's

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-03-01 07:50am

55 days. that is how long my shiny new car stayed shiny and new. On saturday i re-arranged the front end in a charming display of urban diving skills and profanity. i was at a busy intersection and the driver of a bohemoth Ford Excursion, for one reason or another stopped and waved me through to turn. So far so good. The bad thing is i was unable to see the fast moving Kia passing him (because the fucking thing is so goddamn big and should be out dodging RPG's in Iraq, not on a fucking city street) on the right, up on the shoulder/breakdown lane until it was too fucking late. I hit the brakes and actually came to a complete stop..... the Woman in the kia hit the brakes and closed her eyes (evidently she forgot about the mysterious invention called the steering wheel just inches in front of her) . BAM! bye-bye bumper, and it's off to the body shop with Chris' brand new car after only 1800 miles.

theski · Post by **theski** » 2004-03-01 08:30am

Damm..... *remembers* Col...posting pics of his new car.... Sorry dude... It will never be a virgin again......

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-03-01 09:12am

theski wrote:Damm..... *remembers* Col...posting pics of his new car.... Sorry dude... It will never be a virgin again......

what makes me sick is that its going to end up being partially my fault, because i was crossing a lane of traffic. All because i couln't see past the huge Ford Excursion .

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2004-03-01 10:18am

Col. Crackpot wrote:the Woman in the kia hit the brakes and closed her eyes (evidently she forgot about the mysterious invention called the steering wheel just inches in front of her) . BAM! bye-bye bumper, and it's off to the body shop with Chris' brand new car after only 1800 miles.

My uncle once pointed out that women tend to close or avert their eyes in a strange hope that not seeing impending death will wish it away (he's a surgeon who's seen the result of multiple accidents). Don't know if the preponderance of men do such or not.

Post by **Vympel** » 2004-03-01 10:23am

Shit. After repairs it's the same car. Just think of it as an unscheduled overhaul.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-03-01 10:24am

Holy crap, that sucks, Colonel!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-03-01 10:47am

I made this exact point a long time ago on this board about the sight-line obstruction threat posed by giant SUVs. They're a fucking menace on the road, and while you could say the same about tractor trailers, at least there is a reason why those things have to be that big. Giant SUVs are nothing but dick size compensation.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2004-03-01 10:48am

Darth Wong wrote:Giant SUVs are nothing but dick size compensation.

But why do women seem to like them so much?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2004-03-01 10:51am

jegs2 wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Giant SUVs are nothing but dick size compensation.
But why do women seem to like them so much?

Mine doesn't. And the one woman I know who does love giant SUVs is ... well, let's just say that she might as well have a dick. Although I imagine that there may be some kind of appeal for women there as well, since they are accustomed to being unable to threaten people on a physical level.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-03-01 11:08am

A couple years ago I saw this guy out in front of my dorm who apparently had turned his SUV over on its side while taking a turn WAY too fast. He was standing outside the car, watching the towing company try and turn it over to be taken away.

I was half-tempted to point and say "HAHA, you got what you deserved, dumb shit!"

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2004-03-01 11:11am

I think we've talked smack about SUVs and all the rabid SUV drivers pile in and start calling us ignorant assholes. However, I have had my fair share of close calls, (Sorry Col. That sucks ASS!!!) to be completely fed up with SUVs. Do they even offer more storage capacity? Are they being used to go camping in the hills? Definitely not that Excursion with the bling,bling rims and the phat amp in the back.

Bertie Wooster · Post by **Bertie Wooster** » 2004-03-01 11:13am

Those new hummers and Lincoln Navigators are commonplace now where I live (I see those behemoths more often than I see buicks which is what I drive) and 90% of the time, its driver is a woman.

When they're trying to park their KDY SUVs, they will actually get out of their car and request other drivers to repark their cars to give their SUVs more room to park.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-03-01 11:41am

you know what pisses me off most? The car that hit me (another suv- a Kia Sportage) had no damage whatsoever. Kudos to Honda though. The bumber was hit hard on an 80 degree angle and is destroyed, but there is no damage at all to the headlight assembly, fender, grille or hood..... and the car is still in perfect alignment. Some damn fine engineering.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-03-01 11:46am

Cal Wright wrote:I think we've talked smack about SUVs and all the rabid SUV drivers pile in and start calling us ignorant assholes. However, I have had my fair share of close calls, (Sorry Col. That sucks ASS!!!) to be completely fed up with SUVs. Do they even offer more storage capacity? Are they being used to go camping in the hills? Definitely not that Excursion with the bling,bling rims and the phat amp in the back.

Yes, very much so. You could live in the back of one of those things.

Now whether the storage capacity is actually ever used, probably not.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-03-01 11:52am

Howedar wrote:
Cal Wright wrote:I think we've talked smack about SUVs and all the rabid SUV drivers pile in and start calling us ignorant assholes. However, I have had my fair share of close calls, (Sorry Col. That sucks ASS!!!) to be completely fed up with SUVs. Do they even offer more storage capacity? Are they being used to go camping in the hills? Definitely not that Excursion with the bling,bling rims and the phat amp in the back.
Yes, very much so. You could live in the back of one of those things.

Now whether the storage capacity is actually ever used, probably not.

The only legitmate use for those is on horse farms or construction sites where you need to carry a half dozen workers and a trailer at the same time. The funny thing is, the truck was baby blue... so you can assume that it wasn't used for such, shall we say macho pursuits.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-03-01 12:39pm

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-03-01 01:30pm

Howedar wrote:Yes, very much so. You could live in the back of one of those things.

Now whether the storage capacity is actually ever used, probably not.

Yeah... with both rows of back seat down, for instance, the Ford Excursion (the monster that Col. Crackpot mentioned in the first post) has a cargo capacity of 146.4 cu. ft. You'd need a fucking full on van to top that. I mean, some trucks come close, but that's an obscenity. It should be defiling Tokyo, not riding around on roads.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2004-03-01 02:00pm

I always think of some sort of bodily function when I hear the word "excursion."

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2004-03-01 02:49pm

I read it as 'Ford Execution' at first.

If I had to get an SUV, I'd try to find the smallest one that'll accept a Ford Lightning engine, then I'd put a paintball-machinegun turret on the roof...

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2004-03-01 02:51pm

Howedar wrote:Yes, very much so. You could live in the back of one of those things.

Now whether the storage capacity is actually ever used, probably not.

My family has an Expedition, and yes, we have used all that storage capacity.

Korvan · Post by **Korvan** » 2004-03-01 03:08pm

I think SUV should be prohibited from parking anywhere close to an intersection. In the middle of the block, they're now problem, but at an intersection, they totally obstruct sightlines and are a menace to drviers and bikers (such as myself) alike.

Whenever I see one parked in such a manner, I start wishing I had a melta-bomb with me.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2004-03-01 03:16pm

Darth Wong wrote:
jegs2 wrote:But why do women seem to like them so much?
Mine doesn't. And the one woman I know who does love giant SUVs is ... well, let's just say that she might as well have a dick. Although I imagine that there may be some kind of appeal for women there as well, since they are accustomed to being unable to threaten people on a physical level.

Yes, but we all know Rebecca's a cut above the rest in terms of common sense. You put up with her, after all.

Soccer Moms (if i'm using the term in it's correct context) seem to love SUVs because they're safe from the inside. As long as their brats are inside the car for the whole mile of a school run, then they're not going to get hurt by another car.
Of course, no thought is spared for those kids who aren't being ferryed in a death machine...

Mlenk · Post by **Mlenk** » 2004-03-01 03:54pm

jegs2 wrote: But why do women seem to like them so much?

Yeah I wonder. It seems that every giant SUV that I see when I'm out is driven by a little petite woman who's more often than not talking on her cell phone or touching up her makeup or sometimes doing BOTH while driving with their knees..... Annoying shit!

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2004-03-01 05:22pm

Korvan wrote:I think SUV should be prohibited from parking anywhere close to an intersection. In the middle of the block, they're now problem, but at an intersection, they totally obstruct sightlines and are a menace to drviers and bikers (such as myself) alike.

Whenever I see one parked in such a manner, I start wishing I had a melta-bomb with me.

Ill second that one ...

I have no problem with SuVs

but i have alot of problems with not being able to see on comming trafic

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2004-03-01 05:38pm

jegs2 wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Giant SUVs are nothing but dick size compensation.
But why do women seem to like them so much?

I think you answered your question?

Women=no dick
thus the ones that have no self esteem feel they need a big fucking car to make the other folks take them seriously on the road.

I have the same problem over here in yosemite.

The other month, I had a woman in an SUV only doing 45mph in a 65 zone, and I couldn't pass her on the straight aways because I couldn't see past her car.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

stupid drivers, stupid big ass SUV's

stupid drivers, stupid big ass SUV's

Re: stupid drivers, stupid big ass SUV's